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Tuesday, July 29, 2008


A whole week down of shots. Wow. Time flies, eh? Hopefully, my eggs will be taken out 2 weeks from tomorrow and my babies will be created! Exciting stuff!
Tonight I went to my support group, which I'm sad to say I have not gone to the last few weeks. Tonight was very special for me. You never know when something will be said to soften your heart and that was what happened to me tonight. Carol (one of the facilitators) was talking about Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary and FOX news anchor, who died recently of cancer. He was a faithful Catholic and we read some words he had recently spoken about his illness and, as in many other circumstances, it spoke to us as infertile women too. Here was the section I was given to read in group:
"When our faith flags, God throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things and those of us who have been on the recieving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know. Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up- to speak to Him of us!"
That puts into words exactly how I feel about all of you who have spent hours praying for us already, and continue to daily. I have a friend who sends me texts and emails when she thinks of me and stops to pray for us. It always comes right when I need it too. God is amazing in how he works. But 2 other things grabbed me tonight during group. One thing I have thought on since I left and even spoke with Joe about. Carol has said before that she believes we didn't get pregnant in earlier years because we were needed by a child in our class. (all 3 of us in the group are in education fields). I've heard her say this before, but for some reason, something clicked tonight. For the past couple of years, Amy and I have been pulling a lot of weight in children's ministry at church. If at any time I'd gotten pregnant, I'd have stopped what I was involved in, maybe even have left our congregation. But now that we have a children's minister, it's like a weight has been lifted and everything is lining up to get our family. Maybe my pregnancy timing wasn't about my school children, but the children at my church who I was serving. That makes me smile. AND it makes me optimistic that God is laying out this plan and timeline for me.
The final thing that blessed me tonight was a prayer said over me by another woman in our group. She laid hands on me and prayed a prayer so sweet it actually brought tears to my eyes. She prayed for the eggs I am growing right now and that they are perfect, right down to the DNA. She prayed for Joe's sperm and that they are strong, healthy and high in number. And that they too are perfect right down to the DNA. She prayed for my uterus and that it is being prepared to be a safe place for my babies to grow. She asked God to go before us in every step, to have things prepared and perfect in advance. And she prayed that a verse in Psalms will be fulfilled for me. That I will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within our home. And that my children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around our table.
Her heart was so earnest and sincere. And as a woman who barely knows me cried over a prayer she was offering for my chance at pregnancy, I felt that moment Tony Snow spoke of. Where the hairs stick up on your neck because someone, other than you, wants something so deeply for you, that they are begging the Creator to create something for your life. It's making me teary right now just typing this. We serve a great God and as this chapter unfolds, it's scary and filled with anxiety, but it's exciting too. Exciting that the Author of my book is writing this chapter as I walk through it.


Ann Clark said...

Please know that I'm thinking and praying for you and Joe. I followed Tony Snow's battle with cancer and I have admired his courage and wisdom. I believe his message, and now yours through your words, will reach other people and affect their lives more than you will ever imagine. Keep telling your story.

Ann Clark said...

Tommie has been keeping me posted on you and Joe. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Lauren said...

Our children will still need you and Joe, but we will share :)I am glad you have a greater since of calm now ti will be helpful in the coming weeks.

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful, Rachel! We're still thinking and praying for you guys!