day46 (day 22)

Today I went back to the doctor for E2 blood test and sonogram #6. Whew! On the way to the office I was wondering why they wanted me back today instead of tomorrow like they had originally said. Is it a good thing? Or a bad thing? Remembering that Joe and I agreed that there will be no negative thoughts from here on out, I decided it was good. I got to the doctor's office 30 minutes early and went straight in to get blood drawn. They took me to my room, told me to get ready for my sonogram, all the same stuff I've heard every other day for the past 10 days. Got ready. Got on the table and waited. and waited. and waited. Finally about 20 minutes later a nurse came in and told me Dr. Nackley wanted to do the sono herself, so we were waiting on her to get out of surgery. Uh oh. Why does the doctor want to do my sono? Nurses are always the ones who do them. Something must be wrong. Throughout my 30 minutes of alone time in that room, music kept popping up in my head.

First up...I Need Thee Every Hour, most gracious Lord; no tender voice like thine can peace afford. I need thee, O I need thee; every hour I need thee; O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.

Next...I've got confindence, my Lord is gonna see me through. No matter what the case may be. My Lord is gonna fix it for me.

I prayed and sang in my head over and over "no matter what the case may be, please Lord, fix it for me!" Then all of a sudden actual music came on in the room. I've only heard the radio in one of the exam rooms once and that was yesterday. Well, it just popped on all of a sudden, midway through a song in my own head. "Your body Is a wonderland Your body is a wonder..." Really, John Mayer? My body doesn't feel like a wonder right now?!!? But then I started thinking about how despite the fact our bodies aren't working the way WE want them to, they are working exactly as God planned. And during this strange moment I stopped again to thank God for making me and Joe in his image and shaping us exactly as he did. And I asked him, begged him really, to allow our plan and the doctor's plan to be the same as his.

Then another song..."I’ve been waiting for my dreams

To turn into something

I could believe in

And looking for that

Magic rainbow

On the horizon I couldn’t see it

Until I let go

Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn

Now I’m coming alive

Body and soul

And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time

To be more than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished

Into the air

Left me in pieces

But now I’m rising from the ashes

Finding my wings

And all that I needed

Was there all along

Within my reach

As close as the beat of my heart and

I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time to be

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever

Ready to run I’m keeping my feet on the ground

Arms open wide

Face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time to be

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life "

Is this the time of my life, David Cook? I know you are singing about winning American Idol, but this IS a key time in my life. One of the biggest moments in my life. I thanked God again for giving me a moment to be right there in the present and right there in his presence for it. I AM "waiting for my dreams to turn into something I could believe in And looking for that Magic rainbow on the horizon I couldn’t see it unitl I let go." Amazing.

The door opened and Dr. Nackley came in. Right off she said, "Rachel, your body sure does know how to respond to medicine!" What??? Is that good? She showed me my chart and said I am progressing perfectly. Everything couldn't go any better than it is. She measured my follicles (one egg per follicle, mind you) and I have about 16 or 17 large ones measuring 13-17mm. She said they need those last couple to get over 14mm and I'll be ready. So they are calling in Joe's doctor for his procedure Thursday and my egg retreival will be Friday. I go in tomorrow for one last E2 and sono before the big day! My E2 levels have jumped again (to 6773) since yesterday, so I am only taking one tiny shot tonight and will be in the home stretch. Look how many I've gone through!I am so thankful that God has made this so easy the past few weeks and even more thankful to have a husband willing to go through so much to have a baby with me.

Now on a comic note...when I texted Tanya with the news today, we had a funny little conversation. Here's our back and forth:

R:Doc says I could not be doing more perfect on my meds. Egg retrieval friday.
T:Yay! I was thinking that Joe needs to watch the swimming olympics to get motivation for the Varney Olympics.

R:That's going on the blog!

T:Go for the Gold! ha ha!

So we are going for the Gold. Hope Joe has some little Michael Phelps in there!