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Tuesday, August 05, 2008

day 39 (day 14)

Things are falling into place now. I've told several of you in recent days how good and positive I feel about the process now. When I look back at the past few months, there have been SO many times that things were wrong. The power went out at the clinic on our appointment day, went to get my HSG and they told me I couldn't, delays...delays...delays, where do we find all this money, "you have only a 30% chance with invitro." It goes on and on. In fact, at one point I told Amy I wasn't sure we were supposed to do this. I felt like God was telling us NO NO NO NO NO over and over and we were just pushing through.
But now I feel completely different. Is it the time I chose? No. But as I've been told time and again, it's God's timing, not Rachel's. In the past weeks since I started my medicine, things have lined up so perfectly. Every bit of money has found it's way to us. In May we found out our mortgage payments were dropping by a few hundred dollars a month, which has allowed us to pay on our loan with no change to our monthly budget. (Couldn't see that coming if we had started in April, as we originally were.) We get bills from urology and specialists here and there that are always upwards of $1000. EVERY TIME we have recieved the same amount of money back from somewhere else...a bonus at work, a reimbursment for overpaying property taxes 2 years ago, etc. It's happened at least 4 times since January, including one last week. You can't tell me that's not God! The timeline is not what I wanted, but actually couldn't be more perfect. I'm not going to have to miss any of the start of school (just inservice), and my due date will be late enough to take the last 6 weeks of school off (even if I have multiples and am due a little earlier). Add that in with having a Christian doctor working with us, and the ease of my injections, and literally no problems in my 2 weeks of shots...I just can't believe it's all coincidence! How can things have changed so drastically from everything wrong and "are you telling us No?" to everything is right and "how did you do all this so perfectly?"
Is there a chance we will not be pregnant in 3 weeks? Yes. But I don't believe that will be the case. While I am trying to keep in my mind that it IS a possibility, I am fully anticipating the big news that there is a life growing inside me that's a little bit Joe and a little bit Rachel. So for right now, life is great!


Anonymous said...

You're right, God's timing is so perfect and most of the time we just can't see it but in retrospect. I'm so glad that things are working out and I'm praying that God's timing will be this time for you and Joe!

Rebecca said...

I'm glad you are seeing things better now.