Day32(Day7)

A whole week down of shots. Wow. Time flies, eh? Hopefully, my eggs will be taken out 2 weeks from tomorrow and my babies will be created! Exciting stuff!
Tonight I went to my support group, which I'm sad to say I have not gone to the last few weeks. Tonight was very special for me. You never know when something will be said to soften your heart and that was what happened to me tonight. Carol (one of the facilitators) was talking about Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary and FOX news anchor, who died recently of cancer. He was a faithful Catholic and we read some words he had recently spoken about his illness and, as in many other circumstances, it spoke to us as infertile women too. Here was the section I was given to read in group:
"When our faith flags, God throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things and those of us who have been on the recieving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know. Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up- to speak to Him of us!"
That puts into words exactly how I feel about all of you who have spent hours praying for us already, and continue to daily. I have a friend who sends me texts and emails when she thinks of me and stops to pray for us. It always comes right when I need it too. God is amazing in how he works. But 2 other things grabbed me tonight during group. One thing I have thought on since I left and even spoke with Joe about. Carol has said before that she believes we didn't get pregnant in earlier years because we were needed by a child in our class. (all 3 of us in the group are in education fields). I've heard her say this before, but for some reason, something clicked tonight. For the past couple of years, Amy and I have been pulling a lot of weight in children's ministry at church. If at any time I'd gotten pregnant, I'd have stopped what I was involved in, maybe even have left our congregation. But now that we have a children's minister, it's like a weight has been lifted and everything is lining up to get our family. Maybe my pregnancy timing wasn't about my school children, but the children at my church who I was serving. That makes me smile. AND it makes me optimistic that God is laying out this plan and timeline for me.
The final thing that blessed me tonight was a prayer said over me by another woman in our group. She laid hands on me and prayed a prayer so sweet it actually brought tears to my eyes. She prayed for the eggs I am growing right now and that they are perfect, right down to the DNA. She prayed for Joe's sperm and that they are strong, healthy and high in number. And that they too are perfect right down to the DNA. She prayed for my uterus and that it is being prepared to be a safe place for my babies to grow. She asked God to go before us in every step, to have things prepared and perfect in advance. And she prayed that a verse in Psalms will be fulfilled for me. That I will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within our home. And that my children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around our table.
Her heart was so earnest and sincere. And as a woman who barely knows me cried over a prayer she was offering for my chance at pregnancy, I felt that moment Tony Snow spoke of. Where the hairs stick up on your neck because someone, other than you, wants something so deeply for you, that they are begging the Creator to create something for your life. It's making me teary right now just typing this. We serve a great God and as this chapter unfolds, it's scary and filled with anxiety, but it's exciting too. Exciting that the Author of my book is writing this chapter as I walk through it.

day31 (Day6)

Mom and Dad left this morning to head to Southlake to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary! Wow! Long time, right?

Now, my friend Tanya was in the neighborhood and stopped by to see my finds from Saturday that she had yet to see. Tanya and I spent several hours Friday and Saturday looking for gems at garage sales that we can refinish/paint/mosaic for a craft sale in November. She and I have been toying with the idea for a year or so, but are just now biting the bullet and giving it a try. Now those of you that know Tanya may or may not realize what a good artist she is. She is an amazing painter and has a real love of mosaics as well. I'll admit that she is a much better artist than I am. That's why I am merely a teacher and not really a practicing artist. :) However, I DO have some craft sense and a bit more artistic ability than the average person. That combo does allow me to do some things well. For the past few years I have really enjoyed painting furniture. It began as my dining set in my college apartment (a wood table with 4 mismatched chairs all painted with black and white checks and primary colors.) That led to painting reading chairs for teachers and now I am moving on to dressers, end tables, lamps and (yes) more chairs. Here's what I found this weekend. OH! I paid a grand total of $120! Wahoo!!
a coffee table that we flipped the top upside down on. it has an indented center that is PERFECT for tiling or broken tile mosaics!

A rocking chair that is very solid will go great with the children's furniture I'm doing!
A kids' set of table and chairs. Found these a ThriftTown in Arlington for $19! Not bad!I found 2 of these. They are swivel stools and were only 5 bucks! They will make great teacher stools.

This is my FAVORITE PIECE! This cottage style dresser is so adorable and well built. I love it! You can see I am trying something there on the drawers? I am going to finish each drawer with an animal print. My future nursery is going to have a jungle theme and I am painting this to go in that room. I may try to sell it, I may keep it for me, or I may leave it to chance. At any rate, it is going to be awesome!
An endtable I also found at ThriftTown. It's in great shape and even has a drawer! Still trying to think what I want to do with this one... I got 2 of these also. I am finishing them to match a pair of lamps I'm working on. They will be dark brown, icy blue and leopard print. (the lamps are just blue and brown striped). Here's where I am on the table right now.
Last, but not least, Is the console table. It was custom painted at some point by someone, but has seen better days. Again, only 5 bucks, so now I just have to wait for inspiration to strike! Any ideas?!?!?

Day 30(Day 5)

Sorry for the delay in posts. My mom has been here and she has kept me super busy! Normally I sleep til 8 or 9, get up and leizurely eat breakfast, shower, get dressed, make the bed, etc. Maybe by noon I'm ready to do something. MAYBE...Well, this week I have been pedal to the metal! Wednesday night Mom arrived to babysit me for the weekend while Joe is gone. It's the Mayes (my mother in law's) Family reunion in Corpus and with me starting meds, I needed to stay behind. Since we didn't know if I'd have a bad reaction or not, Mom said she'd come stay with me so Joe could go to the reunion. Aww!
So since Thursday morning we have spent a day in Granbury, garage saled for 2 full mornings with Tanya, seen Mamma Mia, had lunch with Melanie, shopped in the Highlands and couple thrift shops, chopped 6 heads of lettuce, 9 tomatoes and 3 onions for church today, taught a 4th grade class, and watched 2 netflix films. Whew! I've crashed hard when we finally slow down!
I will take pics of my wonderful garage sale finds and tell you all about my plans for those tomorrow. But I DO have 2 other little things to comment on in the news the past 2 days.
1. I read about an inter-racial couple who had twins in Germany last week. The mother is black and the father is white. But get this....the twins are BIRACIAL! One is very light skinned...almost white. The other is very dark black. Isn't that wierd!?!? Apparently it has occurred 4 times in recent years and doctors say it is possible in the genetic soup created when you concieve to have kids with different skin tints. Crazy, huh? Check out the link here!http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/25/biracial-twins-born-to-in_n_115037.html
2. I know how much you must all care about Brangelina and the twins. (About as much as I do, I hope). However, interesting news has broken about their new kiddos. THEY ARE INVITRO BABIES! Now, I firmly believe all these celebs having twins recently either did invitro or did some other sort of fertility treatment, as twins are not that common and these folks are a little old to be starting families. (J Lo, Julia Roberts, etc.) But here's the infuriating part. Speculation is that Brad told Angelina he wanted biological kids before they adopt any more and after a few months and no pregnancy, Angelina became worried Brad would leave her and opted to do invitro to "knock it out." How upsetting is that? Oh, I'm famous and rich and can get pregnant super fast. If I just fork out the money, then I don't have to wait. AND it'll help me hang on to this hot other celeb who I probably will never marry and not stay with much longer anyways. Ick.

Day 27 (Day2)

So last night I had my first shot. I have to give them to myself either in the stomach, the thigh or the back of my arm. Since I can't bend that way, I have to option the thigh or the abs. Meredith said the abs hurts less since you have more skin to pinch there. So 10:30 is my injection time each night for the next 3 weeks. I went in the bathroom and got all my gear. Joe came in. I begged him to leave. He really wanted to stay in there with me. He said, "Do you think I'm never going to watch you do this?" I told him no, but that I needed to psych myself up for this first one and wanted to do it alone. "I'm your husband! You should let me be here for you!" "You're my hsuband! You should leave since I'm asking you to!" He left. I cleaned my stomach off with an alcohol swab. I cleaned the top of the vial. I measured out 20cc of Lupron into the syringe. I pinched my skin and said to myself, JUST DO IT....JUST DO IT. I stuck in in fast, pushed in the medicine and pulled it out. Honestly, I didn't even feel the needle go in. I felt it more after it was over. It was a little itchy and the little whelp was sore for 30 minutes or so. Joe kissed it and all was well with the world. I can do this. No prob! Came back in the kitchen where Mom, Tanya and Jake were all very impressed I did it so fast. Hooray! One shot down....

Day 26...or Day one...depends on how you look at it

Today we went to see the IVF coordinator. She has a name and a face at last!!! Her name is Meredith and I liked her immediately.

Backup....I called this morning to confirm our appt. for 1:00. The nurse who answered did NOT sound happy to be there. Here was our conversation:

Me: I need to confirm the time for my appt today.

Her: Name?

Me: Rachel Varney V-A-R-N-E-Y

Her:............what was your appt for?

Me:My Phase II appt for IVF

Her:........................................

Me: I think it's for one oclock

Her:...........................yep

Me: Okay. Another question. I am assuming I will learn how to do my injections today? Do I need to bring my medications?

Her: Yeah

CLICK

Okay. So I have no idea what medicine to bring (I have about 15 different types, 3 of which are refirgerated). Not wanting to do the whole call over, I just pack it all up. So I have a huge tote bag FULL of medicine when Joe comes to get me.

We met with the lab tech guy first (at 12:30, even tho our appt. wasn't until 1.). He told us exactly what to expect with each appointment and what they will do on egg retrieval week. He told Joe that they will do his sperm aspirition the day before my egg retreival and then let the sperm develop a little overnite. He said testicular sperm are non-motile, so giving them a day will make some of them "perk up." He also said if they don't, there are things they can do to get them movin'. He also strongly suggested we freeze the remaining embryos after our cycle so we can do it again without all the prep work we are doing now. Basically, I would just have to do a little medication to prepare my uterus and then they'd put a frozen baby in me. :)

Then we waited on Meredith to come back from lunch. We were with her before 1 also and she gave me my calendar and answered lots of my questions. Tonite I start my Lupron injections. YIPES! I am a little nervous about it, but I was able to practice on a little squishy ball thing on how to inject, release the meds, take the syringe back out, etc. I also had a vaginal sonogram to check out my insides. All looked good. Ovaries are looking like they are supposed to once they are suppressed and my uterus is ready for my babies! So now all we do is injections for the next 10 days. On tuesday I stop taking my birth control. Next Friday I go back to add 2, yes TWO more shots to my daily regiment. Then I go back every other day until egg retreival. Here's what my calendar looks like. Wow. I'm going to be heavily medicated!

Start praying hard EVERY SINGLE DAY for us. Hopefully there will be Varney embryos in 21 days! Which will be my day of conception! Hooray!!! Pray for good, healthy sperm!

***SIDE NOTE***

While we were waiting on Meredith, we saw an ad in the trash can for a plant place in Euless that was having a huge sale. We went and bought crepe myrtles for $9.88 each! Awesome!!

Countdown to the needle

So we are at day 25 now. That's right, I should be getting my monthly visitor on Saturday, but it won't be coming! In theory, I have stopped ovulating by now and am in a holding pattern on my medication. Tomorrow is the big day. Well....the first of many big days. Tomorrow we meet with Dr. Nackley and I will have a sonogram, some bloodwork (I assume) and will learn how to give myself shots of Lupron for the next few days. I will also be getting my IVF calendar, which tells me what days to take what medicine and which days I will be living at the doc's office. I'm not entirely sure what to expect from here, other than a baby down the line. :) I'll let you know how things go when I get home tomorrow!
And PS. I've now seen Mamma Mia twice and it is so cute! It's silly and corny, but isn't that what a great musical contains? And Batman??? Easily the best movie so far this year. It's intense and dark and Heath Ledger is all they said he would be. It's a must see!

Day 21

So we are three weeks down and I am finally getting my tummy used to being on birth control again. It is still weird to think that I have to go on the pill to get pregnant. Medical science sure is kooky!

I am so excited today because I am getting to see 2 movies I thought I would miss opening day for! I was expecting to be on bedrest, or having egg retrieval this weekend, so with all the delays, I am far from and have a wide open schedule to see the 2 movies I've actually been looking forward to this summer!

I am meeting Mel in a couple of hours to see Mamma Mia. Now I know that many of you will find that cheesy and stupid, but I am a sucker for a musical in any medium. And Mamma Mia is one that Mel and I saw when we were roomies and sang along to our soundtrack pretty much til the day I moved out. How can you not enjoy a show that has "Dancing Queen" and "Take a Chance on Me?"

Later tonight we are meeting some friends to see the new Batman movie as well. I am SO EXCITED!!! This summer has not given me many movies to put on the calendar, but this is the one I've been waiting on. Now, I'm not a big superhero fiend like the men in my life are, and really don't care about Batman at all. I mean, those early ones were awful. We caught part of Batman and Robin on TNT last night. CHEESE! But since I was dragged to Batman Begins, I have become a fan. I love the dark, brooding character of Bruce Wayne and, HELLO?!?! The girl he loves is named Rachel? Yeah, I can get on board that. I'm interested to see if it lives up to the hype with Heath Ledger. he looks insane and creepy, so I'm already intrigued. I'll give you my verdict on everything soon!

A year ago in Italy

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Days 18-20 have come and gone also. Nothing new. Ordered some more medication. And a safe sharps disposal box for needles. Other than that, not much to report.
Per the request of several friends, I decided to post my pics from my trip to Italy last summer with Amy. Most of you will recall that I spent 2 weeks in Ukraine teaching English and then Amy and I spent about 6 days in Italy on our return trip. As I look back, I realize how lucky I was, not only to go on such a trip, but to go with my best friend. I know that some girls get to do trips with their girlfriends after being married, but most never get to do one like this. It was such a fantastic trip and the person I would most want to adventure with (besides my Joey), is of course, my BFF, Amy. So...without futher ado...here are some highlights from our tour of Italy.




This is Amy in Sorrento eating some gelato moments after we arrived. Look at all those Hydrangeas! Aren't they incredible?


This is where we ate breakfast at our hotel. It was right on the coast and BREATHTAKING! I can't imagine a more beautiful place!

Taking pics of the cliffs. SIGH....

A picturesque square down the street.

More of the beautiful square

Taking a walk down to the ocean.

All around Sorrento and Pompeii there were stands making fresh lemonade, orange juice, slushes, etc. Look how big the lemons are! As big as my head!

Inside Pompeii ruins

Pompeii and Mt. Vesuvius. They say the mountain is less than half the size it was before the eruption that obliterated the city.

Me and Amy in Pompeii

a preserved body in Pompeii...one of 6 in the world

A lone picture in Florence. It was a whirlwind day of shopping and arting, but wonderful none the less!

Throw a coin in Trevi Fountain and insure your trip to the eternal city!

The Pantheon

Yummy! Carbonara at my favorite place in Rome! Becky, you remember this place down by the Vatican?

The Pieta...one of the greatest sculptures ever created

The Mouth of Truth from ROMAN HOLIDAY fame!

The ruins in Rome

Picnic at the Colesium

Recreating my pic with Becky from 2004!

Colesium at dusk

Outside the Vatican. (where, incidentally, we joined the wrong tour group (still not sure how that happened), got yelled at and nearly thrown out of the museum! But all ended well with a day of art. Silly Romans...

In Saint Peter's Square

Goodbye Rome!

Days Fifteen-Seventeen

Well, there isn't much to report day to day right now. My folks were here for the weekend, so I got to relay all my good feelings about where we are now to them in person, which they were VERY happy to hear about. I'm nearing the end of my perscription of birth control pills, so I had to refill today. Couldn't get through to my pharmacy. I called them 18 times before I got a person instead of a recording. CRAZY, huh?
This weekend we went to a wedding for a family friend. One of my best friends growing up, Leslie Chadwick Mayo, was sister of the groom and I was excited to see Leslie and her little girls in real life instead of on my monitor for the first time in a couple of years. She, of course, was beautiful as always and her oldest, Katlynn, reminds me so much of 5 year old Leslie. It's funny how that happens. :)
Besides the fact that we were at a beautiful wedding at these gorgeous fountains in Dallas, AND the fact that I was able to visit with lots of family friends from Lubbock, there was one undeniable highlight. And that was my sweetie, Joe. Now, many of you know that Joe and I met at ACU. What you may not know is that he was a well known fella in a little club called Gamma Sigma Phi. When Neil (the groom) found out I was marrying Joe a couple of years ago he said, and I quote, "THE Joe Varney?" When Mom told Neil he should invite us to the wedding he said, again I quote, "How cool would my friends think THAT was? If Joe Varney was at MY wedding?" Now apparently, Joe became somewhat of a living legend in the years after graduating. A intramural team was named "Team Joe Varney" and the pledges of later years were aware of the Varney name because of it. Well, at the wedding Joe finally was introduced to Neil, who stood up, shook Joe's hand and said, "Joe Varney...the man. the myth. the legend. Can't believe I'm finally meeting you in person!" It was hilarious! All these GSP guys were there and wanted to shake Joe's hand. One walked up to us and said, "Just wanted to pay my respects to a great GSP alum. Your composite picture was up in my house my junior and senior year." No idea who that guy was. So for one night, my hubbie was a minor celebrity and couldn't wipe that grin off his face. It was great!

Day Fourteen

2 weeks down and about 10 days to go to official start date. Whew....it's been a long wait! But in other news...
THIS IS MY 100th POST!
I can't belive I have been blogging for so long! Amy and I realized the other day that I never blogged about Itlay last summer and it being a full year ago now, I should do that! I will start looking through my travel journal and my pictures and do that in the next few days!
Thanks for reading!

Day Thirteen

Okay. So now there is a gameplan. I will be on day 26 before I actually start my injections. Crazy, right? I thought it would be more like day 5 or 7. The doctor's office called me today and set my Phase II appointment for July 23rd (2 weeks from yesterday). I asked about when they would be doing the extraction EXACTLY and she said we won't know for a while. They have to wait until they see how my body reacts to my medication. If I react well (like my doctor expects me to), they will take my eggs earlier in the week (like the 11th to 12th). If my eggs aren't moving like they should, it'll be later in the week (like the 16th or 17th). I'm concerned, of course because of what that'll mean for my school schedule. I asked her, "With bedrest after getting implanted, I'm gonna be missing some work, since I am due to go back for inservice on the 18th." She told me that I don't have to be on bedrest at all! What!?!?!? She said there is no basis for bedrest scientifically. Hmmmm. I'm still going to rest for a couple days though. Per Doctor Joe and Doctor Mom's orders. So...all that to say, if they take my eggs early in the week, they will implant me 3-5 days later and it is reasonable to believe I will be at school on the first day of classes! Hooray! I may still have to miss part or all of inservice, but that's no big deal to me. So...now we wait a couple more weeks and get this show on the road!!
*****
Just got a phone call from the doc's office again. I am no longer with Dr. Kevin. I am now with Dr. Nackley, who is a female doctor. Hmmm. The nurse said Dr. Kevin will be out of town for about 3 weeks and it is all during August. So they have moved me to Dr. Nackley so we can go forward. She wanted to make sure that was okay with me before we start. I asked some questions and she assured me the Dr. Nackley is an excellent doctor and she would have no quams if it was her. So we are switching docs! Crazy times, eh?
OH! And in case you are interested....WHEN this works and I get pregnant, I will be due sometime between May 9th and May 15th 2009. Perfect!!!

Day Twelve...the sequel

So here's the deal...
I talked to the IVF coordinator and she broke the news to me. My egg retrieval date will be between AUG 11-17th. Yeah...a month away!!! That means I don't even start my injections until next week or the following week even! This means several discouraging things for us....
#1. No Orlando for Labor Day. We won't be done yet.
#2. No inservice week for Rachel. I will either be on bedrest or being implanted AND on bedrest during that week. Not good, since that is training week.
#3. Maybe no first 2-3 days of school for Rachel. Sounds good in theory...More summer, right? No. It means days I've saved for maternity leave will be used for things I should have been able to do this summer, and I'll miss meeting my babies at school and have to leave it to someone else.
#4. I'm going to have to set up my room way before school starts since I won't be allowed to lift or move big stuff after/during extraction and implanting.
So...while it's not tragic info, it's not what we wanted. I've cried 3 times today as I have once again had any control I felt I had snatched away. I feel like God is really trying to make a point to me...YOU DON'T CALL THE SHOTS. I DO. It's a little hard to handle. And it makes me sad that my whole summer I couldn't do anything but wait, and then wait some more, and then be stuck here for doc stuff...finally. I feel like I've lost my summer completely. As Amy said, "It better work now!!" It will.
And hey, for my sanity, please don't tell me this all in God's timing. I know it is, but it doesn't make this easier to swallow right now. Just acknowledge it sucks right now to be in my shoes, but that it'll be worth it when I have a baby.

Day Twelve

Well...
we are still waiting. I hate that I when I call either doctor's office I get moved to a voicemail to speak to the person I need. I hate that no one has returned a call to me yet even tho I started calling at 8am. I hate that this is a major priority for no one but me. And I hate that there is nothing I can do to change it. Joe has been sweet and called both places as well. He found out that the paperwork WAS sent yesterday from Dr. Graves to Dr. Doody. Then he spoke to someone who can't do anything, but did know that the info was recieved at Dr. Doody's office. Now it has to go back and forth 2 more times. At this rate it'll be August before we get started! AAAARRGGHH!!! It's so frustrating! I think I'm the most angry about the fact we have paid in full to both offices and they are not moving on this. Even tho I know it's not reality, I feel like it's "we have your money...so we can do what we want." BLECK!!! I'm also thinking we need to cancel our trip to Disney World in September because of possible doctor visits, and the fact that I don't think I'm supposed to fly in my first trimester. Joe won't concede until a doctor tells us that, but I just feel like every plan we had for this has fallen apart. And it's a real possibility that this is going to still be going on into the school year. I DON"T WANT THAT!!!! It's like I wasted my whole summer just sitting around waiting. And by the way...daytime TV is beating me down. Too many commercials about getting pregnant, being pregnant or having babies. It's hard to watch.
I promise I'm not as forlorn as I sound. Just need to vent somewhere. :)

Day eleven part II

Small update:
Just heard back from the IVF coordinator. The hold up is that they still haven't gotten the referral from Dr. Graves!!! What?!?!?! He assured us they would send it LAST WEDNESDAY! They have an extremely busy office, but still...this is ridiculous! I'm ready to get movin! So looks like it'll be another week before we can start. Bummer....

day Eleven

So...still waiting. I'm starting to wonder if they have forgotten about us. I emailed the IVF coordinator (you remember her right, the no name girl?). I emailed yesterday to touch base and check if we were on the radar yet. No reply. Still. I'm going to call up there tomorrow....under the pretense of filling my prenatal vitamin perscription, but really so I can find out what the hold up is.

I'm feeling very positive today still, despite all the waiting. I have found it so much easier to talk about when people ask me questions since last week's doctor visit. I've really appreciated those of you who email me and tell me you are praying for us. I've fooled myself into believing that no one is thinking about this but me. Probably because I have nothing to preoccupy myself with right now, but baby thinking. But I know that when someone faces something terrible in their life, it's so easy to forget that they are suffering because we are obviously more involved in our own day to day pains and happinesses. So for those of you who DO remember me, especially those of you who don't see me on a regular basis, but still remember to pray for me, worry with me, and wish a baby into my belly, I thank you so much.

On a lighter note, my best friend from high school, Carrie (or sister Mary Carolyn as she's known to us ;) sent me some pics of her kids that I HAVE to share. I saw them a few weeks ago when I went to Lubbock and these were taken then. They remind me that all things are possible. Carrie suffered with infertility as well, was given a 45% chance of ever concieving and she just had # 3. Here are my cuties....

Day Ten

We are still waiting to hear back from my doctor. It's starting to get tedious! Pray that we will hear something back today so we can get moving! I am anxious to get this ball rolling! In other news...God is faithful to one of my fellow infertiles. My friend Heather from my support group finished her in vitro cycle last week and found out yesterday that she IS PREGNANT!!! Yay! I am so happy for her and pray that she has a successful and easy pregnancy with a healthy baby. Praise God!

day eight and nine

Didn't have a lot of time to blog about the past 2 days. Saturday we had a last minute change in plans and ended up just me and Joe with nothing to do for a whole day! That NEVER happens anymore! We slept on the sofa bed on Friday night and stayed there, watching movies until 2pm Saturday. **Did you remember that in FREQUENCY (starring Dennis Quaid and Jim Caviezal) the mom is Juliet from LOST? Or that young Gordy is none other than Michael Cera? Crazy, right????***At 2 we got up and got showered and dressed and headed out for a big date. We went to see WALL-E and out to dinner. ***WALL-E...such a social commentary on the direction of mankind and Earth in general. While it was cute and, of course, impresses me to no end how they can make a thing with no personality in real life seem lovable, the most interesting thing about this movie was when you consider what has happened to the world AND to it's people because of technology and an abuse of it. Pretty thought provoking.
I digress...yesterday we spent in Granbury with the Tindells and their family. We worshipped outside in a city park, swam at the "feach," walked thru the street market, and ate some great bbq and potatoes. Great day! We topped it off by seeing WANTED. Weird show. Really weird. Don't bother.
On the IVF front...still waiting to hear back on when we can start everything. Nada so far. I'm still happily just taking my pills and day dreaming about my big baby belly to come. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well!

Day Seven

Well, still no word on when we will get to see MY doctor and start the actual 5 week process, and with only 6 weeks left til I go back to work...well...let's just say our plan hasn't worked out like we thought. But as I'm constantly reminded, God's timing is perfect and we will bow to his leading.
I told Joe last night I haven't felt this at peace and this happy in months. I am really looking forward to the result of our months of agony and am anticipating decorating a nursery and preparing for a baby soon. Maybe more than one!
Thanks for your constant prayers and Happy 4th!

Day Six

Nothing new to report. Still taking birth control pills. Still feeling good after yesterday.
Happies...
1. Finding pictures from college in the junk drawer.
2. Painting on a canvas I made myself
3. Making homemade rolls.
4. Hearing from an old friend
5. Anticipating DESIGN STAR on HGTV this weekend!!!

Day Five

Today was a L...O...N...G one. Joe and I went to meet a different doctor, Dr. Graves, at 11am. He is the doc who will be doing Joe's sperm extraction and we have to have the go ahead and a date scheduled for Joe's procedure before we can go forward with my doctor. So we got there at 10:30, expecting a quick look at the chart from his tests and a "Okay, let's do this." Nope. After 2 hours in the waiting room, we finally got into a room. Then we waited for about 20 minutes. Then we met a very jovial man named Joe who took Joe's info and filled out some papers with us. Then we met Dr. Nathan Graves. Now, we thought it was odd that there was a place for us to put our church preferance on our paperwork. (it is STILL odd, I guess.) He noticed we were Church of Christ and told us he is too. (cool, right??) We chatted with him about our situation and he really made me feel good about things. He told us "You have sperm. You gotta be optimistic about that. Lots of guys come in here with none." He also told us that Dr. Kevin Doody (the doctor we've been seeing who will be doing our in vitro stuff) is world reknown and is known to be the top in this field in the US. He said people from other countries come to have him do in vitro for them. He also said that he (Dr. Graves) has 2 children from in vitro, both done by Dr. Kevin. Later on we found out that Dr. Graves is also the urologist who donated the free invitro in conjunction with the center we are going to. Isn't it nice to have stumbled (with God's nudging) into 2 christian doctors to guide us through this? Joe had an ultrasound done to make sure there were no blockages or cancer for us to be concerned with first. We got the green light! After more chatting about the will of God and how he works in mysterious ways, Dr. Graves assured us that he's not going anywhere and he'll get us on the calendar asap. AND that "you've got sperm, and I'm gonna find it." Hooray!!! After that we met with another very godly person who will be our point person at Dr. Graves' office through this. Her name is Kay and she assured us that we will make it through this fine, with God's hand on every step. Then the floor was temporarily yanked out as we had to shell out another couple of thousand dollars for this section of the journey. Hopefully, we are all done writing 3 and 4 zero checks now. So....all in all...good day.
Happies:
1. Christian Doctors
2. Having Joe with me for a whole weekday!
3. Chicken fried steak at 3:00 (we were at the doc's office for almost 5 hours. We missed lunch...)
4. Mid-day movies (Hancock...not what I expected. Not great, but not terrible.)
5. A sunny outlook after having an Eeyore cloud over me.

Day Four

So, today is a little better than yesterday. I had a hard night last night, but today things are in a little better perspective. I talked to the IVF coordinator finally (she called me today after being out of pocket since I started my meds 4 days ago!!!). She answered lots of questions and I'm feeling better about where we are. I have had a constant stream of people reminding me that God's timing is perfect and he is doing this for a reason. The timing WILL work out better due date wise...making me due in early May, and thus able to take the whole end of school off and not go back til the following school year. Even if the baby/babies were to come a little early.
Today was really great. Amy and I went to lunch with our friend Heather. Heather is a fellow teacher we met in our support group. Strangely enough, she taught at the same school I teach at! The school has been open 9 years. She taught there the first 2, I have taught there the past 7. We just missed eachother! Heather is on the tailend of In Vitro. She was implanted last Thursday and will know Monday if she is pregnant. How exciting! I have to admit, I'm jealous. I wish I was that far along already! After lunch, we took Heather to see BABY MAMA at the dollar theater. That movie is so funny! And what is better than 3 infertile gals going to see a movie about infertility?!?! It was great to laugh at our own sorrows together.
Now...following Mom and Amy's direction, and Joe's wish for me to be more positive...I will write 5 things to be happy about today. I bought a necklace with a poem on it that says to count the positives. I wear it every day and I am going to start following it's advice.

"Count your blessings instead of your crosses.

Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes.

Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears.

Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your health instead of your wealth

And love your neighbor as yourself."

1. Fish and Chips with malt vinegar. If you've ever been to England and had this in the newspaper from a chippy...man, you know what I'm talking about. Lucky for me, RJ Gator's makes it about as good as you can find in the states.
2. Tina Fey makes me laugh when I look at her. She is the funniest woman in entertainment right now. I LOVE HER. Period.
3. Stencils are fun! I have bought a bunch of letter stencils and am busy making some of my own tonight. I have this new painting idea and I am prepping to try it out. If I ever get to the paint step, I'll take a pic for you!
4. Blogging. My husband may not understand why, but he does acknowledge that blogging does something good for me. When I started crying last night, he told me to get up and go blog it. He knew it would make me feel better to let it out here. Speaking of which, my Joey was great last night. He understands my heartache and will stay up and hold me, take me for french fries and frosties at 1am and fall asleep with me on the floor so I can watch TV and calm down. What a great husband I have.
5. Inspirational thoughts. Yesterday I quoted a Casting Crowns song called "Praise You in This Storm." One part I left out really comforts me today..."every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand. You never left my side. And tho my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm." How great to know that God is standing here catching every tear that falls. That he knows every single tear. Awesome.