Tonight Randy was preaching about peace. He told the story about Jesus calming the storm and how peace is something Jesus attained from his hours of prayer and "me time" with the father. We've heard it before: No Jesus. No Peace. Know Jesus. Know Peace. So how come peace is so elusive right now?
Jesus Calms the Storm
23Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
26He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
27The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"
In so many ways, this is my life right now. I KNOW Jesus. He's in my boat for Pete's sake!?!! But there is this massive storm swirling around me and my mind is completely wrapped up in how I am going to manage to survive it. I look to my friends, but they are all worried about how THEY will make it through the storm they are facing also. I'm crying out to God (just as I imagine the disciples would...) " Jesus!?!?! Where is he? He can stop this, or at least protect me from it! JESUS!!!!" But where is Jesus? Asleep. I've said before I felt that God was being silent in my life. Then he began speaking, and for several weeks, I felt him closeby again. But today, right now, in the storm, I look around and find Jesus sleeping. Not fighting the storm. Not quieting the winds.
So here I am. Screaming in the wind and rain. Scared of what's crashing in on top of me and being as loud as I can to wake up the Lord, so he'll calm it all. Sometimes he lets the strom rage and quiets his children. If that's on the horizon, I'll take it! But for right now all I see is wind and rain and feel my heart racing harder and harder.
How do you push the fear and hurt aside to make room for the peace and patience?
Zeke
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5 comments:
I don't pretend to have any answers for you right now, I'm sorry, I wish I did. All I know is that you're not going to "drown" because He does hear your cries and He will save you, no, He has saved you already! Patience is so hard, but please just remember that you are not alone in this! I love you!
Rach, this doesn't make sense now and it may never make sense. I can't explain God's plan and why he is letting you despair right now. It seems unfair and I'm so sad that you are feeling this way. I wish that I could take this pain away, though I know there is nothing I can say or do that will. I only know that God began rebuilding me only after I felt completely broken. Which, I feel like I've been broken over and over, though every time it just gets worse.
Hold on to Joe. He has been placed there by God to carry you through this, just like you did for him. It will make your marriage stronger and when you can see the other side of this storm, you will at least know that your marriage has withstood an incredible test. And your faith has overcome it's weakest moment.
I love you so much
I think I wrote about this once a long time ago. I'll have to go back and look. But I find comfort in the fact that he is asleep... in a round about way. He KNOWS that the storm will not overtake me. He knows that even in the midst of it, I am safe. He has power over the storm. I find peace in that.
There's a song called "Revelation Song". Find it, listen to it and let it soak into your soul.
I don't have any answers for you. I've been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to figure out what to say, but there is nothing comforting. I've been there...not in the same situation, but in a raging storm that seemed to never end. The only thing that got me through it was friends, and time. There was no magic cure. It wasn't over any faster or slower because of how I reacted. It just lasted until it ended. As unhelpful as that is, at least you know that it will end, you will be happy again, and Joe will always be there for you.
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