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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Day One

Day One
I was instructed to call my doctor when my cycle began so we can make our "Phase 2 Appointment" and basically give them the heads up that it's time to start. That appointment is when I will get my IVF schedule and be taught how to do my injections. So I called this morning and am waiting to hear back from them now. I'm scared, I'm sad that I can't be pregnant on my own, and I'm nervous about where we are headed.
Babies are on my brain the past few days. I have just found out another friend is trying, a girl in my support group had her implanting done on Thursday in HER IVF cycle, a girl I cried with in a bathroom in Albuquerque is now pregnant, and last night I attended the visitation of little Nathan. It was amazing to finally talk to Taylor in person and for us to know eachother immediately. I couldn't let go of her when I hugged her. It broke my heart. Little Nathan's blanket and onsie laying next to the few pictures they have of him. The memory book Taylor began after he died Tuesday. The little casket. It's so tragic and it's like all the pain of having children or NOT having children has been piled on this poor family. The pain of infertility to the joy of pregnancy finally, only to have their hopes dashed again. The full weight is hitting them now as they bury their baby today.
All that being said...pray for those of us suffering through these childbearing struggles. It is a difficulty that cannot be explained. And pray for Taylor and Josh. That God holds them tightly in his hands during this time and that somehow, and some point they find the strength to start the process all over again, so they can have the family they dreamed of.

1 comment:

stapes said...

Did you know that my fertility dr. (same clinic as yours) came to Nathan's visitation service Friday with her team of nurses? I was so touched by them... they are good people. You are in good hands.

Praying for you during this very emotional roller coaster.

Taylor