Joe and I have completed our multiple rounds of fertility testing and are coming out still in one piece on the other side! Hooray! I have gotten the green light on all of my tests so far, so praise God!!! I can carry a baby if one ever finds it's way into my belly! My spirits are up considerably, as are Joe's which makes for a much happier household. On March 25th we will be meeting once more with Joe's doctors. Joe and I are opting to expect the most out of this...so we are expecting InVitro and from that, we are expecting triplets. (better to be overprepared we say!) It's nice to be through the beginning stages of greif (anger, resentment, bargaining) and on to acceptance.
We know that God has a plan for us and we trust him completely. Do I still get angry when I see yet another unwed mother at school pregnant with child #7 by man #7? Yes. Does it hurt my heart for kids to say, "you ain't got no kids?" Yes. (for grammatical reasons as well as emotional). Do I still cry for no reason at baby commercials, baby clothes, and strangers with their newborns? Absolutely. But I know that is all because God has put such a strong desire in me to be a mom. It's going to happen. It may cost my more money than what is in my bank account, more tears than I have cummulatively shed in my lifetime, and for sure, more time than I anticipated...but no one will love their baby like we will. We have prayed, toiled and will continue to suffer for our family. And we'll be happy we did one day soon.
To add to my hardships, I have learned of 2 more friends struggling with infertility. One, is an amazing girl, who may as well be my sister. She is beginning her journey through this and I'm happy to be on a more joyful side as I walk with her through her greif. And another friend, I only know through blogging, who has only been pregnant 3 months has gotten devastating news about her unborn baby and a chromosome disorder that may take it's life.
Those of you who have children, be overly and abundantly thankful for them! There are many of us who long to be in your place!
Zeke
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2 comments:
I'm so thankful for your openness. I know it's hard to talk about, but you are helping so many other people. Mitch and I will be starting down the road to having a family very soon, and I can only hope and pray that we don't run into these same difficulties, although I've got to say that it wouldn't totally shock me due to my age, and family health issues combined.
I have no doubt that this will happen for y'all, and speaking from experience, you will love that kid even more than you thought possible.
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