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Sunday, February 10, 2008

An unexpected Sunday

This morning began like any other Sunday. Get up. Get ready for church. Walk in. Sing. Pray. But it was not an ordinary Sunday for us...
Joe was asked to give the communion meditation today. Something he has done a few times before, but Joe's not much for speaking in front of a crowd. He knew what he was going to say. He was going to talk about frustration. About how there are times in life where you think you have it so bad and that the cards are stacked against you. But that it's in those times you have to remember that Jesus endured far worse than you are. That His plans are not your plans.
Good thoughts, right? Joe didn't make it through the first sentence. Nor any sentence after. Tears were streaming down his face as he slowly choked through it. I (of course) was silently crying with him. My mother in law scooted a little closer to me.
Then Randy Todd got up. He's our new preacher and has been with us only a few short weeks. We haven't heard him but once or twice, as we are usually back in Bible Hour during the sermon. Randy spoke today about praying boldly and with expectation that God will not only hear you, but will answer you. I found myself unable to stop the tears from coming. Praying boldly. Expecting God to act. Not my strong suit right now. In fact, 2 days ago I was very angry with God.
Romans 12:11-12
11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Patient in affliction, eh? Yeah, that's easy to say. Hard to do. As Randy finished up his lesson, he spoke about he and his wife and their struggle to have children. They now have 4, but for a long while, it looked like it would be zero. That pushed me over the edge. I am audibley crying at this point and my husband is desperately trying to fight his tears. As they begin the invitation song, I realize this is the day we are supposed to let the world know. We go forward with about 8 friends surrounding us. The elder I speak to cries with me. And we tell our church how we are struggling to have a baby. How we are getting bad test results and are fearful of what may never come to us.
We were prayed for several times. I was hugged by people I've never met. And I was consoled tearfully by many women who have been in my shoes. One woman told me...you know God did this on purpose. He made sure your husband was chosen to speak first. He made sure you weren't in Bible Hour this one day. He made sure that the songs we sang and the lesson spoken were exactly directed to you. Today. Today was for you.
Its true. Its hard to explain the overwhelming emotion that was pouring out of me today. A day I had NO idea was coming.
I say all this to ask you to join us...me, Joe, our families, our friends, and now our congregation in bold prayer for our future family. I know we may have a long, hard road ahead. I know I will spend many more hours crying over this. But I have to believe that God put this desire in me and has every intention of fulfilling it. So in the words of Journey..."DONT STOP BELIEVIN'"

9 comments:

The Best Family said...

Rachel -
Obviously, I cant say that I understand where you are coming from, but I can say that God has taught me that he is in control whether we let him or not. His timing is always best. This is not always easy to see, and hindsight is always 20/20... God has given you an amazing gift with children (and I dont know Joe well, but from what I have heard, he shares this gift) and he gave it to you for a reason... he will provide... he may not do it all exactly as you want, but I am confident that he WILL provide. I will pray for you and for Joe as you wait patiently for God to answer your cries for a baby. I pray for the peace that comes only from knowing him.
Love,
Summer

Elisa said...

Thank God for giving you this day to have the love and support of your church family. I am sorry for your hurt, and I do pray that He will give you the desire of your heart. Thank you for sharing your struggle and for being an example of someone who turns to Christ in faith during painful times. Love you.

Ashhog said...

I sent you an email so be looking for it and let me know if you didn't receive it.

Brandon & Dee said...

Rachel,
I love our God, and how He works in amazingly unpredictable ways. I am so sorry for your struggle and your hurting heart. I will be praying for y'all, for comfort, for hope, and that you will be able to see glimpses of God's plan. Thanks for sharing your heart.

DavitaJo said...

Rachel,

I found your blog while reading DeeDee's blog. I wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for you! I am going to specifically pray that God blesses you through this struggle in a way that we cannot even yet imagine.

Prayers from Alaska!

Davita Campbell

Ashhog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashhog said...

I sent it to myself too and it went to spam folder so you might look there. Let me know if you still don't get it and Ill try sending from different account

ABL said...

Oh, sweet Rachel. Know that we love you and are praying for you. I'm so thankful that the Lord had you in Joe in mind on Sunday and blessed you with a day of encouragement- even if it was hard. I'm glad your family there was able to support you!

rdh97j said...

Rachel-

I remember hearing the story about your parents and the other couples who formed a prayer group to pray about their common struggle to have children. God blessed them with you and Matt, and God can work miracles for you too. I'll be praying for you and Joe - for his hand to be in this situation. Love to you both!

-Rach