flashback

Last night Joe and I went to the "Green and White Game" at his high school, Arlington High. Its when the team scrimages itself basically. The cheerleaders were cracking me up. They'd do a cheer (pretty unenthusiastically) and at the end...no jumps, no GO COLTS!! Just smooth out my hair and make comment to my friend. It was funny to watch.
After the game there is a fundraiser- a burger cookout! So we went and got in line for that. In front of us were 3 of those same cheerleaders. One with a boyfriend who, rightly so, remained very quiety among the giggly girls, pointing and commenting on everyone and everything going on. One of said cheerleader's mom was right behind us. So when we finally got to the grub, she fell behind with mom and the other 2 and boyfriend took off. I thought nothing of it. But when Joe came to sit down he said,"That cheerleader just said to her mom, 'I don't have any friends.' Mom said, 'Sure you do! They were just here!' and she replied, 'They ditched me. I don't have any REAL friends." And we looked over and there she is with her mom at the next table, a little teary.
My heart really hurt for her. That was me for a while in high school. At least at school. I LOVED my life at church. I was loud and silly and had tons of friends. That's where I could shine. But at school I felt really left out. The people I thought were my friends never treated me like one. They never asked me to do anything with them. That's what ultimately led to my quiting volleyball my senior year. Those girls were not my real friends. I found some real friends after that and life was so much better! So last night when I saw all this, I really wished I was bold enough to go talk to that cheerleader. Tell her that it sucks right now. That I'd been there too and I made it out. That there are friends to be made in other places. That going off to college and starting again is a great opportunity. And that high school is not the end of things. In many ways, it's just the beginning. Of course Joe and I joked abotu how I ended up marrying a football player too (could've added that in for humor's sake in my speech.)
I had just about decided to bite the bullet, go over and talk to her. But she ran out to the parking lot crying. I wish I had acted immediately. I thougth about her a lot today and how it would've made a difference to me if a stranger had had that talk with me 13 years ago. Crazy what life throws at you and how you forget pain from the past. Next time, I'm going to say something. :)