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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

click click click...ZOOM!!

So there is so much to catch you up on since my last post. I have pictures and stories galore from Xmas and New Years, but there is somethiing that has to take precident right now.

Last Friday I got a call from the leader of my support group with interesting news....at the pregnancy center she volunteers with, an adoption had become available with a single black mother. Due date? Jan 30th!!! She called to see if we were interested. WHAT!!!!???!

The past several days have been full of questioning, waiting and praying. From what we found out, we decided this was not the baby for us (which is sad for so many reasons, one being the cost was about a 4th of what a regular adoption would cost us.) We found out the mother had not been drinking or doing drugs, but had been smoking the duration of the pregnancy. Mom wanted to abort the baby and her plan was twarted not once, but twice. Dad's in jail. Mom's plan is to leave the baby at the hospital to become a ward of the state. So, so sad.

I have so many things to work out about adoption, but knew what was important to me most.
1.Closed Adoption? check!
2.Affordable for us? check!
3.Baby not in danger from mother's habits? half a check (maybe....mother has not been doing prenatal care and smokes)
4. Are we ready? check (but maybe not 100% ready)
5.Biracial child? NO CHECK....this was a real sticky point for me. if we adopt, I want a biracial baby. Why, you may ask? I feel like there would always be an odd man out if we adopt a white or a black child. If adopted a white child, people would assume joe wasn't the father. If we adopt a black baby, people would assume I'm not the mother. I want our family to look and feel like our family. And this is a baby with both a black mother and a black father.

So while I have a huge heart for this unborn baby, I know it's not the baby we are meant to have. But these past 5 days have been amazing. Just the idea of this being possible has brought me new hope. That phone call from Carol felt like the call saying I was pregnant. I'm so excited that I can feel that way, even without a baby in my belly!!

So now that we have raced down THAT hill on the rollercoaster, we are beginning to click click click back up as another family we know is now considering adopting this child. While this has potential to be wonderful for them, and equal potential to be strange and awkward for me, it would be wonderful for this baby to be in a loving, christian home. I'm not sure how I feel about it all, and I'm not sure how they feel about it all. Not long to decide, so I guess we'll see!

So pray for this un-named baby to be and whoever it is that she ends up with. It's obvious God want this little guy around!


Rebecca said...

I'm so happy that you're feeling good about this. It's exciting that you know that you would love an adopted child as much as your own.

I hope that God gives Amy and her hubby a clear answer on what they are to do. This is a really exciting event if it's right for them!

Jaime said...

Wow! I am so excited hope has rushed in and filled your heart again! I know that whatever the plan is for you guys to be parents, it will be amazing! It is good to know what you want and to be open to possibilities! I am so excited to see/hear how God unfolds His plan for you and Joe to be a mommy and daddy!

Jaime said...

Oh, and I can't wait to see pics!!

Anonymous said...

I'm almost speechless! I'm so glad that God has opened your eyes to this as a hopeful possibility in the future and that you're excited about it. I've heard you say that you want to be a mother in whatever capacity God allows so maybe this could be it. I hope this baby gets a good home whether it be with Amy or not. Still praying for you guys!