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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

a reason to be happy

It's been 3 weeks since we found out we were losing baby #2. For many people this would still be the low point of existence. For us though, we have decided to hit the "PAUSE" button on babies, and try to go back to normal life, for the first time in almost a year. And it's been great! In fact, I think I am the happiest I've been since we started testing last January. Here are a few things I have to be thankful for/happy about.
1. Medical Science. It's amazing the things they can do for us now and while it's not benefiting me just yet, it's such a blessing to be able to find out so much and have some options.
2. My family. While we've gone though all of the phases of this journey, our families have been incredible. From Mom and Dad helping us with money and coming at a moments notice, to Dad driving here to get my furniture and take it back to Lubbock to sell, to my in-laws cooking and cleaning for us, we've been well taken care of.
3. Friends. This incompasses so many. Here are a few I need to single out...
a. Hannah Group. This is my support group I've attended since April. These girls have been my heart and soul this year. I'm not sure how I would've survived without the meals, prayers, cards, emails and calls I get from them. For any of you out there who are suffering thru infertility, FIND A SUPPORT GROUP! It's been a huge blessing to me.
b. Amy. We've been though a lot this year and bonded in ways no one will ever be able to understand. I'm thankful to have had her by me in the joys and tears.
c. Carrie. My best friend from high school and I have reunited thru this and talk more often than we have in 10 years. It's been great having her to lean on.
d. Tanya. My bff in training. She has come thru in so many ways and has gladly let me push her aside on more than one occasion. She deals with just as much stress and craziness in her own life, but always manages to make time for me and my stuff.
e. Tracy, Marshon, Lori, Debra, Emily....these ladies at church always ALWAYS ask me how I am and check on me. Weekly I hear from at least one of them, if not more and they always make me feel loved.
f. My work friends. They cry with me and celebrate with me. In fact, I had more tears shed for me on my return to work than I shed myself.
g. Melanie. Even though she is giddy and proud of her new bundle of joy, she mourns with me and always has a kind word and prayer to offer me. It's almost like her new baby reminds her that I still don't have one.
4. The future. I have so much to look forward to. We are trying to plan an incredible trip just Joe and I think Spring, before we start round 3. I am almost 30 and am looking forward to a great next chapter in my life. It's Christmas, WHICH I LOVE!!! And I have hope in a God who wants to give me a hope and a future! And I can't wait to find out what that will be!
5. And lastly, and most of all, I am thankful and happy about my husband. I am so deeply in love with him and coming out of a hard, rough year, I know we are stronger than we were before we started. And I know that many marriages would not have survived.

There are lots of other things, but I'm rambling already. Basically, I think John Lennon had it right. "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." And I don't want life to pass by with me worrying about babies. So I choose happiness. I choose to live with joy.


Anonymous said...

Rachel your attitude is amazing! I can't say that I would be saying/feeling those things if I were in your shoes so I have to tell you that you are awesome! I'm still thinking and praying for y'all and will continue to do so. I love you and hope you get to have an incredible "getaway" come spring! :)

bhomsher said...

I am so happy to hear you upbeat! I hope this attitude change keeps transforming your life. Enjoy Christmas and all the blessings you have in your life.

amy said...

Your friendship has been one of the things that's gotten me through this ridiculous year. And even though we don't see as much of each other as we have, it still makes me so happy to know you're there when I need you and that you alone above anyone can understand exactly what I'm feeling. I love you and I'm so happy God has finally brought true peace to you.

Sheila Fairly said...

Hi Rachel, I am glad that you are doing well and I know what you mean when sometimes you have to let go for awhile so that you don't go insane!
We all love you at Hannah!

Jaime said...

Rach! I am so so so so glad that you are finding joy in life! Your strength and faith through everything is such a great witness! I miss you lots and wish the best and joyous of Christmas times!!

Ashley said...

I am glad you guys are on "Pause" and I pray that this is an answer for you for peace for you guys.

Love you, girl!

Rebecca said...

I'm happy that you are able to put the baby stuff on pause and be happy with that decision. You guys are going to have a great holiday season.

Holly said...

I'm glad times are better. Your attitude is truly amazing!!!!