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Sunday, February 15, 2009

sorrow revisited

I have a dear, sweet friend who is having a difficult time right now. She suffered a miscarriage about a month after my last one and has kept it to herself for several weeks. She shared it with our class a couple of Sundays ago and my heart sank. She was someone who was so devastated at our losses and to hear that she had been silently hurting too, just brok my heart.
Now as I watch her going through it, I see myself. I remember those weeks of not wanting to come to church, knowing that it would take all I had to not cry. I remember feeling all alone in a room full of people, because their worlds were all sunny and rosy, and mine was dark and cold. But mostly I remember how I just wanted someone to care as much as I did. I wanted someone to understand my hurt wasn't just at that one moment in church, but constant. I wanted someone to remember I was still hurting. Luckily, I have had one such person. (shout out, Carebear!) I have a sweet friend who still sends me a card every week to remind me she thinking about me and praying for us. That means more to me than I can ever explain. And I want to do that for someone else now.
At the time, I thought people just didn't care. I stilll think that sometimes, but watching this girl in her grief...I have no words for her. And I just experienced this a couple of months ago! Nothing can be done to make it better. But I know that all I really needed was someone to be there, be sad with me, and tell me it would get better. So I'm trying my hardest. So while I want to keep my friends name in confidence, I konw many of you know who I am speaking of. Those who don't, just pray for Rachel's friend.
Tonight at singing, I was flipping through songs and I found so many lines that spoke to me. I'll leave you with one of them. I've never heard this song.....have you??
Does Jesus Care?
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress
And the way grows weary and long?
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.
Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?
Does Jesus care when I've said "goodbye"
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks,
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

1 comment:

Adam & Carrie Tungate said...

I love you, Rachel. You will be a great support for your friend and I'll keep her in my prayers too.