Day One
I was instructed to call my doctor when my cycle began so we can make our "Phase 2 Appointment" and basically give them the heads up that it's time to start. That appointment is when I will get my IVF schedule and be taught how to do my injections. So I called this morning and am waiting to hear back from them now. I'm scared, I'm sad that I can't be pregnant on my own, and I'm nervous about where we are headed.
Babies are on my brain the past few days. I have just found out another friend is trying, a girl in my support group had her implanting done on Thursday in HER IVF cycle, a girl I cried with in a bathroom in Albuquerque is now pregnant, and last night I attended the visitation of little Nathan. It was amazing to finally talk to Taylor in person and for us to know eachother immediately. I couldn't let go of her when I hugged her. It broke my heart. Little Nathan's blanket and onsie laying next to the few pictures they have of him. The memory book Taylor began after he died Tuesday. The little casket. It's so tragic and it's like all the pain of having children or NOT having children has been piled on this poor family. The pain of infertility to the joy of pregnancy finally, only to have their hopes dashed again. The full weight is hitting them now as they bury their baby today.
All that being said...pray for those of us suffering through these childbearing struggles. It is a difficulty that cannot be explained. And pray for Taylor and Josh. That God holds them tightly in his hands during this time and that somehow, and some point they find the strength to start the process all over again, so they can have the family they dreamed of.
Zeke
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Taylor
A few weeks ago I blogged about my friend taylor who was pregnant with a trisomy 13 baby. Yesterday she gave birth to little Nathan and gave him up to God a few short seconds later. Pray for her and her husband Josh as they reach the end of this long, hard pregnancy, preparing to lose the baby they have suffered so hard to conceive. If you want to read her words, I highly recommend you do. She's an amazing girl.
tstapes.blogspot.com
tstapes.blogspot.com
Monday, June 23, 2008
Short post...
I am about to venture into daily postings, so for those of you who read this EVER, get ready...I plan to journal every day of In Vitro right here in Blog Land....
In the meantime, there are a few updates for you. First of all, this weekend was wonderful. After my emotional start to the week, I needed a pick me up. I spent the night Thursday at my friend Amy's and we went shopping, ate chocolate and stayed up late giggling at Arrested Development and Americas Best Dance Crew (which if you are not watching...you MUST...MTV 9pm on Thursdays!!!) Then Friday she and I went to the "FEACH" aka the fake beach in Granbury. It was FANTASTIC! I can't wait to go back this week!! Friday night my friend Jeremy from ACU came in for the weekend to interview for a job. It was so great to spend some time laughing with my friend. For some reason, he and Jamie and Brent really understand me and make me laugh at myself.
Now the new news...
Got my hair cut and COLORED! First time ever...a girl I grew up with did it and I let her have free reign. It's very rocker chick...so super fun for the summer!
Secondly, you remember all that flagstone we bought? Joe and some buddies dug the holes for the path and the patio on Saturday. We plan to finish everything out this week/weekend. Here's where we are right now...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I'm Scared
It's 12:30 am and I have been crying for the past 45 minutes. Well, off an on for the past 24 hours really. Mostly trying to keep myself busy and occupied while Joe is at work, but as the day to start InVitro nears, I am getting more and more afraid. No. Afraid isn't a stong enough word. Terrified. I'm not scared about taking the meds or giving myself shots. I'm not nervous about being poked and prodded, harvested and implanted. I'm worried about that dreaded day 6 weeks from now. The yes or no day. If it's yes...HOORAY and praise God! But what if it's NO? What if I'm that one person you know who just can't get pregnant. EVER. I'm so afraid that that is my future. Not the sunny, happy family I always thought I'd have. Just years ahead of debt and more debt and more debt. Years of waiting for children who won't come. Years of waiting to ever have money to do anything else we had planned for our lives. Joe is trying to destress me. He's trying to remind me I need to not worry about the future, we're not trapped, our whole life isn't riding on this one moment in time. But that's easier said than done. I feel like this is one of those life defining moments and I'm terrified of what the definition will be. I wish I could let it roll off my back and follow that "if the birds and the flowers survive, then I'LL make it okay" montra. But right now, I'm just not strong enough for that. I'm afraid. And I can't go anywhere but forward, knowing this is the right thing to do, but not that the right outcome will be there in the end.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
we're losers...
We didn't win the invitro from the southlake church. :( Oh well. God is providing for us. We are thinking about what we want for our future family/life right now. It may include more schooling, it may include more debt, it may include a move. Who knows? We've got some thinkin' to do!
We have spent the past few days in Lubbock with my family and it has been SO fun! I will post pics and stuff from our trip too. I know many of you were waiting to hear if we were getting our free treatment, so wanted to pass along the news.
We have spent the past few days in Lubbock with my family and it has been SO fun! I will post pics and stuff from our trip too. I know many of you were waiting to hear if we were getting our free treatment, so wanted to pass along the news.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Things to be happy about...
Of course I must start with the obvious...SCHOOL ENDS TOMORROW!!!I know, I know. "You're life is so hard....must be rough having summers off." Yeah, you spend 7 hours a day with 5-7 year olds and you will need a 10 week break too! So excited to have the time off! 
Now...a few things to be excited over ala Rachel Varney...
1. Sweet Melanie is having a boy!!! Meaning when I get pregnant with a girl (oh, it's gonna happen, folks...), I will be the first girl in the gang. All your boys will want to marry my gorgeous mixed race daughter. ;)
2. We bought a bunch of flagstone at a very VERY low cost so we can add a patio and walkway in our backyard. Lots of work, but such a low cost, who cares! 
3. I went to Walmart for a few essentials and mosied through the clothes. (sometimes there are rare gems in there.) Today was one of those jackpot days. They had 2 dresses on clearance (both the last of their kind. both in MY new, smaller size!) and both only $3!!!! How cute are these???
4. And lastly, I have a strange prayer request. There is a church in Southlake that is giving away a free in vitro cycle (all fees paid) in honor of Father's Day. It has been all over the news and papers and they are only taking applications for one week. Joe and I have applied and are praying we are the lucky winners. The church will choose 10 couples based on the applications and then on Father's Day will draw a name at random from a hat. Strange thing is...it is in conjunction with the Fertility Clinic we are going to AND we put off starting until the end of this month when we should have been starting in April. Could God be setting this up for us? Maybe. If you are interested, our application "journey story" is below.
Our Journey
Joe and I met in the fall of 1997 in freshman Bible at ACU. Through 4 years of friendship in college, followed by 3 more in the adult world, we became best friends and trusted confidants for each other. Little did we know that God had a bigger plan for us… to be husband and wife! After a few short months of dating, we were engaged and ready to start our lives together. Joe and I knew when we married we wanted children and were nervous that we would have twins. Joe has a twin brother, and I also have a twin brother. While Joe is one “naturally,” I am a fertility baby. My brother and I were conceived on fertility medication as my parents both had complications with having children. After a year of marriage, I was ready to start our family, so for Valentines Day, Joe gave me a great gift- permission to go off birth control! But after almost a year and no pregnancy, I began to worry that there was something wrong with me. So in January, we began testing. We were shocked and devastated to find out that it was not me, but Joe and that not only could they not find the cause, they could not do anything to better our odds. As we continued to go to appointments and do more and more tests, the news got worse and worse. I found myself angry with God and unable to cope with my sadness and grief. One Sunday in January, our new preacher spoke about his own struggle through multiple miscarriages. I fell apart, as did my husband. I had several weeks of public breakdowns emotionally. Baby dedications, Mother’s Day and baby showers suddenly became torture. Then a dear friend of mine, married only a couple of weeks, became pregnant while on birth control. It was almost too much to bear. It seems like everyone we know is having babies and we are being left behind. Luckily, God has blessed me in many ways over the months. My best friend is also going through infertility and she has been an incredible comfort to me, as well as joining a local support group of women facing this struggle. God continues to shower us with people to support us and has helped us find money along the way as we go through so many doctor visits. So now we sit on the edge of major debt (I am a teacher and my husband is in management at a financial company in Dallas), still wondering if God will bless us in this way or not. My spiritual journey has intensified over the weeks and I feel like our marriage is stronger because of what we have been through so far. Joe and I are a bi-racial couple so we have often joked about adopting kids of other nationalities so none of us look like we belong together. In reality now, we face possibly not being biological parents, but adoptive instead. While that is not what we want, and not what we had planned, God may have a little one waiting to be loved by us that we haven’t met yet. We will accept whatever the Lord’s answer is, but we are so anxious to find out if it’s yes or no. If it’s pregnancy or adoption. We’re ready to be on the other side of the struggle, saying God DID bless us, and it was worth the wait.
Joe and I met in the fall of 1997 in freshman Bible at ACU. Through 4 years of friendship in college, followed by 3 more in the adult world, we became best friends and trusted confidants for each other. Little did we know that God had a bigger plan for us… to be husband and wife! After a few short months of dating, we were engaged and ready to start our lives together. Joe and I knew when we married we wanted children and were nervous that we would have twins. Joe has a twin brother, and I also have a twin brother. While Joe is one “naturally,” I am a fertility baby. My brother and I were conceived on fertility medication as my parents both had complications with having children. After a year of marriage, I was ready to start our family, so for Valentines Day, Joe gave me a great gift- permission to go off birth control! But after almost a year and no pregnancy, I began to worry that there was something wrong with me. So in January, we began testing. We were shocked and devastated to find out that it was not me, but Joe and that not only could they not find the cause, they could not do anything to better our odds. As we continued to go to appointments and do more and more tests, the news got worse and worse. I found myself angry with God and unable to cope with my sadness and grief. One Sunday in January, our new preacher spoke about his own struggle through multiple miscarriages. I fell apart, as did my husband. I had several weeks of public breakdowns emotionally. Baby dedications, Mother’s Day and baby showers suddenly became torture. Then a dear friend of mine, married only a couple of weeks, became pregnant while on birth control. It was almost too much to bear. It seems like everyone we know is having babies and we are being left behind. Luckily, God has blessed me in many ways over the months. My best friend is also going through infertility and she has been an incredible comfort to me, as well as joining a local support group of women facing this struggle. God continues to shower us with people to support us and has helped us find money along the way as we go through so many doctor visits. So now we sit on the edge of major debt (I am a teacher and my husband is in management at a financial company in Dallas), still wondering if God will bless us in this way or not. My spiritual journey has intensified over the weeks and I feel like our marriage is stronger because of what we have been through so far. Joe and I are a bi-racial couple so we have often joked about adopting kids of other nationalities so none of us look like we belong together. In reality now, we face possibly not being biological parents, but adoptive instead. While that is not what we want, and not what we had planned, God may have a little one waiting to be loved by us that we haven’t met yet. We will accept whatever the Lord’s answer is, but we are so anxious to find out if it’s yes or no. If it’s pregnancy or adoption. We’re ready to be on the other side of the struggle, saying God DID bless us, and it was worth the wait.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Another Blessed Weekend...sort of...
This past weekend I got to spend time with my best pals...Jeremy, Jamie and Brent. We flew Brent in from Charlotte since Saturday was going to be a rough one for him. Jeremy and I have both had our own share of struggles lately as well, so we comiserated, laughed, and enjoyed the wonderful friendships God has blessed us with in eachother.We travelled to Seguin to see Jeremy's directorial production of CINDERELLA. Even tho I missed over half of it (dumb Austin traffic), it was still ADORABLE!
We ate BBQ in one of Texas Monthly's top ranked joints, saw Indiana Jones (yipes!) and sang at the top of our lungs to random songs from each ipod in the car. GREAT fun!
Oh! And check out the Super Awesome gift Jamie and Brent made for "Mr. Hailey" from all of us. With 4th grade craftsmanship like this, how could he NOT be honored?!?!?
It says: JEREMY Always Remember To dream dance sing play imagineNow, real low point of the weekend....Friday night my throat starts to feel swollen. Take some ibuprofen. Feel better. Can't breathe real well and don't sleep much tho. Saturday we go in and get me some allergy medicine and throat lozanges. I progress thru the day having more and more difficulty swallowing and feeling like my throat is closing up. Sunday I can't stand it any more. I tell the gang "I want to go home" as I fight tears welling up. I'm pretty certain it's Strep Throat. (remember our first encounter with that, Mel?) I leave immediately (and tearfully as I am not yet ready to say goodbye to my friends AND can't even hug them since I assume I'm contagious.) I drive 4 hours home and straight to the doctor. Yep. Strep. I get 2 perscriptions and go straight to bed. OH! But we are having a bon voyage party for my friend Tanya who is leaving for Japan on Monday at my house that night! WHAT??? Joe, bless his heart, did everything. He cleaned, he cooked, he hosted. I said hello, sat pathetically a little away from our friends and went to sleep while everyone was still here. Oh...and I cried 2 more times. Once at the pharmacy and once when I told our friends I have Strep. I must have been really sick to cry so much. But now I'm on the mend and back to work. 8 more school days!!!
One more thing. In my support group we read something that applies as much to me as it does to Brent or Jeremy or any of us facing difficult things in life. I wanted to share it with you all too. It's a quote about the sovereignty of God.
"His plan includes all promotions and demotions. His plan can mean both adversity and prosperity, tragedy and calamity, ecstasy and joy. It envelops illness as much as health, perilous time as much as comfort, safety, prosperity and ease. His plan is at work when we cannot imagine why, because it is so clear and pleasant. His sovereignty, though it is inscrutable, has dominion over all handicaps, all heartaches, all helpless moments. It is at work through all disappointments, broken dreams, and lingering difficulties. And even when we cannot fully fathom why, He knows. Even when we cannot explain the reasons, He understands. And when we cannot see the end, He is there, nodding, "Yes, that is My plan."
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Because HE Lives
This song touched my heart this morning. I have had a good 3 week stint with no downward dips in my emotions. Yesterday was a little tough, but I powered through! This morning we got to the verse about newborn babies and I realized how true the words I sang were.
God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,Just because He lives!
How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,Just because He lives!
God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,Just because He lives!
How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,Just because He lives!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Mother's Day...THE PREQUEL
So...my sweet boy and our best friends did something incredible this weekend...we hid. It being Mother's Day and all, Amy and I didn't want to deal with the inevitable emotions we would face. So we packed up Friday and headed to Dodd City, Tx. population 419 (or 423 this weekend). Our friend Reagan (same one who got us in the Macy's Parade in November) has a log cabin in the woods that he offered to us. It was the most fun I have had in SO LONG!!! I expected a fun weekend, but this was just plain AWESOME!
There is way more to say that I can write here, so let me run through it in list form (ala Happy List):
Happies from the weekend:
1. Eating a fried food feast in Windom, Tx at the Feed Sack
2. 4-wheelers in an open meadow of wildflowers
3. Floating in a boat on a secluded pond
4. Campfires in the dead of night
5. climbing the side of a house
6. breakfast outside in the cool of the morning
7. kissing in the barn while the rain pours down
8. chocolate cobbler!!!
9. dragging a boat on an old mattress
10. buying a cowboy hat
11. watching arrested development all piled up on one huge bed
12. cows that follow you
13. and most importantly...KNOWING GOD WILL MAKE NEXT MOTHER'S DAY EVEN BETTER...no matter what that means for the 4 of us
Here are some pics from the trip. Enjoy!
Monday, May 05, 2008
Taylor
Many of you know that when I first moved here I attended church with Melanie at North Richland Hills Church of Christ. Yes, it WAS big. Yes, I DID feel lost in the crowd. But it was also a place that let me explore being a leader and find where to belong within a congregation. I left there 3 ½ years ago to be with my sweetheart at Woodland West. I didn’t know that I would end up at RHCC again many years later.
RHCC is a great place if you are in need of help. And right now, I am! My good friend Amy and I joined a support group last week at RHCC. It is called the Hannah Group and it is for girls suffering with infertility or miscarriage. If you know anyone in that category, get them out here to Hannah Group! We have only been once, but it has already been a huge blessing to both of us.
I have a “friend” (I’ve never actually met her) named Taylor. She has been through infertility and now has a baby on the way. Unfortunately, little Nathan has a rare affliction called Trisomy 13. He will never see his house because IF he is born, he will only live a precious few minutes. Taylor is one of those amazing people who seem to have faith despite all odds. Her story, emails, blogs and friendship daily brings me encouragement and hope.
Last night she had a post that absolutely changed me. She was talking about Narnia and how Lucy explains to Mr. Tumnus that Aslan is not a tame lion. And she goes on to explain how God is not tame, but is always good and faithful. But here is what really stuck with me…she said she feels like she is walking in the rain. No sunshine. No happiness. In fact, she can’t remember the last time she felt happy. (been there!) But she says when she stops to think that Jesus actually DIED for her…she can’t feel sorry for herself. In her words, “Christ didn’t go to the cross with a smile on his face either. But the SON did rise again.”
These past few days have felt normal for the first time in a long time. I know the pendulum will swing again soon, but for now I am content and that’s enough. We have decided to go ahead with InVitro and pray that God allows that 30% to be an afterthought for us. If he wants us to adopt, we will. I feel really good about that option too.
Continue to pray for us. And if you are interested, read Taylor’s Blog. She’ll strengthen your faith, just as she does mine. http://tstapes.blogspot.com/
RHCC is a great place if you are in need of help. And right now, I am! My good friend Amy and I joined a support group last week at RHCC. It is called the Hannah Group and it is for girls suffering with infertility or miscarriage. If you know anyone in that category, get them out here to Hannah Group! We have only been once, but it has already been a huge blessing to both of us.
I have a “friend” (I’ve never actually met her) named Taylor. She has been through infertility and now has a baby on the way. Unfortunately, little Nathan has a rare affliction called Trisomy 13. He will never see his house because IF he is born, he will only live a precious few minutes. Taylor is one of those amazing people who seem to have faith despite all odds. Her story, emails, blogs and friendship daily brings me encouragement and hope.
Last night she had a post that absolutely changed me. She was talking about Narnia and how Lucy explains to Mr. Tumnus that Aslan is not a tame lion. And she goes on to explain how God is not tame, but is always good and faithful. But here is what really stuck with me…she said she feels like she is walking in the rain. No sunshine. No happiness. In fact, she can’t remember the last time she felt happy. (been there!) But she says when she stops to think that Jesus actually DIED for her…she can’t feel sorry for herself. In her words, “Christ didn’t go to the cross with a smile on his face either. But the SON did rise again.”
These past few days have felt normal for the first time in a long time. I know the pendulum will swing again soon, but for now I am content and that’s enough. We have decided to go ahead with InVitro and pray that God allows that 30% to be an afterthought for us. If he wants us to adopt, we will. I feel really good about that option too.
Continue to pray for us. And if you are interested, read Taylor’s Blog. She’ll strengthen your faith, just as she does mine. http://tstapes.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 27, 2008
joyful joyful
Joyful, Joyful Lord, we adore Thee
God of glory Lord of love
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee
Opening to the sun above
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Giver of immortal gladness
God of glory Lord of love
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee
Opening to the sun above
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Giver of immortal gladness
Fill us with the light of day.
Friday, April 25, 2008
rough day
chances of InVitro ever working for us? 25-30%
not feeling great about things
joe's worse
not real sure where we go from here
keep praying that God opens a door somewhere and that we can find the handle and be brave enough to walk thru
not feeling great about things
joe's worse
not real sure where we go from here
keep praying that God opens a door somewhere and that we can find the handle and be brave enough to walk thru
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
oh yeah!
I forgot the happiest happy thus far! I chopped all my hair off! I know it is to the dismay of some (Brian Tindell) that my long curly locks are now in a dumpster somewhere, but summer is too far away and my hair was too long to be worth my while. Luckily, my sweet husband lets me do whatever I please to my hair, so I got it summer short just in time for the last 8 weeks of school! (yes, there are only 6 left now, meaning I've had this over 2 weeks now!) Here's old me and new me!
Monday, April 21, 2008
It's always something...
We were due to meet with Dr. Kevin again tomorrow at 3:30, but have been cancelled. What a surprise, right? We are now due to see him on Friday at 4:30. Pray for peace. Pray for a plan. Pray for a possibility. We need them all.
Saturday I was very blessed by my sweet mother in law. She called together many women from our church and families to come and pray with me and share faith stories from their own lives. It was amazing the feelings that were welling inside me when these ladies prayed over me and spoke so candidly about their own struggles. I am confident that God has this in control. I am confident that it will all be okay in the end. But the interim, the walking blindly with no end in sight...it's really hard. There is no sure footing so we are walking so slowly and carefully. I want to just jump and land on the other side! So...more to come on that soon.
This week has really been wonderful in spite of our trials. I was able to spend lots of time with my best friend Amy and with my new BFF Tanya. I found an old CD from my childhood that cracks me up (who else listened to AVB? "What's your tag say?" Anyone? We recieved over $800 back from property taxes this year (not income taxes, PROPERTY! God keeps sending us monetary blessings over and over...which is good since we are paying a lot out of pocket right now.) I bought a bunch of beautiful flowers at wholesale prices (of course they got hailed on,but...) I led a very popular booth at Science night at school, and I keep coming back to my new favorite movie, ENCHANTED. What could be cuter than this concept? I love old Disney, I love musicals, I love New York. It's just the best. And the song "that's how you know," It just makes me smile every time! Especially when James Marsden yells "Giselle!" and bites his fist. Awesome! If you haven't seen this, you have to! It will make you feel like a little girl again.
So...the world is still turning, and I am still taking it one day at a time. God will provide. Baby Varney...coming sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. :)
Saturday I was very blessed by my sweet mother in law. She called together many women from our church and families to come and pray with me and share faith stories from their own lives. It was amazing the feelings that were welling inside me when these ladies prayed over me and spoke so candidly about their own struggles. I am confident that God has this in control. I am confident that it will all be okay in the end. But the interim, the walking blindly with no end in sight...it's really hard. There is no sure footing so we are walking so slowly and carefully. I want to just jump and land on the other side! So...more to come on that soon.
This week has really been wonderful in spite of our trials. I was able to spend lots of time with my best friend Amy and with my new BFF Tanya. I found an old CD from my childhood that cracks me up (who else listened to AVB? "What's your tag say?" Anyone? We recieved over $800 back from property taxes this year (not income taxes, PROPERTY! God keeps sending us monetary blessings over and over...which is good since we are paying a lot out of pocket right now.) I bought a bunch of beautiful flowers at wholesale prices (of course they got hailed on,but...) I led a very popular booth at Science night at school, and I keep coming back to my new favorite movie, ENCHANTED. What could be cuter than this concept? I love old Disney, I love musicals, I love New York. It's just the best. And the song "that's how you know," It just makes me smile every time! Especially when James Marsden yells "Giselle!" and bites his fist. Awesome! If you haven't seen this, you have to! It will make you feel like a little girl again.
So...the world is still turning, and I am still taking it one day at a time. God will provide. Baby Varney...coming sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. :)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
and here we go again...
Couldnt hold on to that good feeling for too long, right?
We went to the doc again on Sunday and got more negative news. He's "very concerned" about our results from that appointment and wants us to come in again to discuss what we can do. I'm feeling scared and skeptical. Joe is sad, but optimistic. he really believes that we are meant to get pregnant on our own. I'm not so sure the odds are in our favor. So...pray for us. Harder. More. We go to the Doc to follow up on Tuesday....
We went to the doc again on Sunday and got more negative news. He's "very concerned" about our results from that appointment and wants us to come in again to discuss what we can do. I'm feeling scared and skeptical. Joe is sad, but optimistic. he really believes that we are meant to get pregnant on our own. I'm not so sure the odds are in our favor. So...pray for us. Harder. More. We go to the Doc to follow up on Tuesday....
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Good news!
I could possibly be pregnant by mid June! WOW! Our appointment DID get to happen today and we did SO much! The doctor said everything looks really good and there is no reason I shouldn't have a good number of healthy eggs or be able to carry a baby to term, so that is very promising! So now we have to decide how quickly we want to begin...could be as early as the end of April! Wow....
The whole process will take just over 5 weeks from starting meds to injections to harvesting to fertilizing to implanting to finding out pregnant or not. Whew! That's pretty fast! So, begin praying that the things that need to happen fall into place, that Joe and I are both physically able to produce the necessary "ingredients" when they are needed for the baby recipe, and that we are successful in our first attempt with In Vitro. Right now I am feeling very optimisic! And...high possibility of twins, so get ready to hear that from us too!
Thanks for all the prayers! They are helping tremendously, so keep 'em coming!
OH! And if anyone has several thousand dollars laying around they don't need, send them our way! We are about go much further into debt!
The whole process will take just over 5 weeks from starting meds to injections to harvesting to fertilizing to implanting to finding out pregnant or not. Whew! That's pretty fast! So, begin praying that the things that need to happen fall into place, that Joe and I are both physically able to produce the necessary "ingredients" when they are needed for the baby recipe, and that we are successful in our first attempt with In Vitro. Right now I am feeling very optimisic! And...high possibility of twins, so get ready to hear that from us too!
Thanks for all the prayers! They are helping tremendously, so keep 'em coming!
OH! And if anyone has several thousand dollars laying around they don't need, send them our way! We are about go much further into debt!
AARGH!!!
We were supposed to meet our fertility doc today. Supposed to know what's going on with us today. Supposed to start our walk down In Vitro lane today. But no. Nothing works out the way its supposed to. Not for us. It's as if someone is doing everything in their power to keep us from having a baby. The storm last night knocked out power at the fertility center. So now I've spent another day off work for nothing, and am set back (yet again) on knowing/starting/doing anything to start my family with Joe. Its so frustrating...
Sunday, April 06, 2008
words words words
This past weekend I went to Canton with my mother in law, her best friend Sherry, and Sherry's daughter in law. Fun right? It really was! It was great to escape life for a while. This week has been a doozy (to say the least.) Between my finding out a very close friend is unexpectedly pregnant (and I am NOT), another very close friend has had his wedding called off by his fiance, ANOTHER very close friend has had his heart broken by a girl he's been with over a year...it goes on and on.
So in Canton, I discovered the wide world of motivational phrases. It seemed that every corner I turned, I saw another one that spoke to me. And after a couple of weeks of crying and anger on a daily basis, it was nice to feel like hope could be restored in that crazy brain of mine. Here are a few of my favorites:
1. Life is about how you handle plan B.
2. God doesn't always calm the storm. Sometimes he lets the storm rage and just calms his child.
3. When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step into the unknown darkness, of this we can be sure, Either God will provide something solid to stand or we will be taught to fly.
4. Where there is great love, there are always miracles.
And my favorite...
I believe in the sun, even if it does not shine. I believe in love, even if I do not feel it. And I believe in God, even when he's silent.
That's what I feel mostly now...that God is being silent. The lack of control that I have in this and the huge amount of fear of this unknown abyss has made me very pesimistic lately. And I think it's because I spend so much time praying and even yelling at God and I don't receive and answer. The waiting is the hardest part. Waiting for a baby, waiting for an unsuccessful IVF, waiting to adopt, waiting for triplets...who knows? Only God. And he hasn't told me yet...I wish he would. But until then, I am trying hard to hold on. Pray hard for me. Pray hard for Joe as he puts up with me. It is getting rougher every day.
So in Canton, I discovered the wide world of motivational phrases. It seemed that every corner I turned, I saw another one that spoke to me. And after a couple of weeks of crying and anger on a daily basis, it was nice to feel like hope could be restored in that crazy brain of mine. Here are a few of my favorites:
1. Life is about how you handle plan B.
2. God doesn't always calm the storm. Sometimes he lets the storm rage and just calms his child.
3. When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step into the unknown darkness, of this we can be sure, Either God will provide something solid to stand or we will be taught to fly.
4. Where there is great love, there are always miracles.
And my favorite...
I believe in the sun, even if it does not shine. I believe in love, even if I do not feel it. And I believe in God, even when he's silent.
That's what I feel mostly now...that God is being silent. The lack of control that I have in this and the huge amount of fear of this unknown abyss has made me very pesimistic lately. And I think it's because I spend so much time praying and even yelling at God and I don't receive and answer. The waiting is the hardest part. Waiting for a baby, waiting for an unsuccessful IVF, waiting to adopt, waiting for triplets...who knows? Only God. And he hasn't told me yet...I wish he would. But until then, I am trying hard to hold on. Pray hard for me. Pray hard for Joe as he puts up with me. It is getting rougher every day.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
John Chapter 9
In John chapter nine there is a story about a blind man healed by Jesus. When the people ask Jesus why he was born blind, they already have their own suspicions. In Bible days you were usually afflicted with some mality due to sins of your parents or yourself. In the Old Testament there are multiple reasons God would "close your womb" even! But Jesus says this man was not blind because of anyone's sin. He said it was so the glory of God could be seen in his life.
Right now I am going through roller coaster emotions. Lots of "what ifs" and "why mes" The problem is, there is no way to know the answer to any of those questions. I have to accept that. But it doesn't stop me from searching for answers. For now, that answer DOES bring me some comfort. God may be allowing these problems so that "the GLORY of God may be seen in my life." Maybe!
I shared this with my friend who is also having fertility problems and her response was this: "That was what I needed to hear. But is it bad I wish Jesus would spit on some mud and rub it on my ovaries so I could ovulate and get pregnant?" See...we still have a sense of humor!
Thanks for your prayers, notes and calls. Everyone of them seems to come right when I need some encouragement...so keep 'em comin!
Right now I am going through roller coaster emotions. Lots of "what ifs" and "why mes" The problem is, there is no way to know the answer to any of those questions. I have to accept that. But it doesn't stop me from searching for answers. For now, that answer DOES bring me some comfort. God may be allowing these problems so that "the GLORY of God may be seen in my life." Maybe!
I shared this with my friend who is also having fertility problems and her response was this: "That was what I needed to hear. But is it bad I wish Jesus would spit on some mud and rub it on my ovaries so I could ovulate and get pregnant?" See...we still have a sense of humor!
Thanks for your prayers, notes and calls. Everyone of them seems to come right when I need some encouragement...so keep 'em comin!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Appointment set!
We will be meeting with a fertility specialist on April 10th at 12:00 Noon to begin preliminary plans for in vitro. Pray that everything falls into place, including the money we need, and that we are able to have a child in the next few months. I'm really struggling with this and I'm praying and hoping that God will hear my cries!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I'm crashing
I'm nervous. Every time I read a comment or have someone tell me, "you have such faith" I just laugh to myself. I am such a doubting Thomas. I have tried to push through the doubts, but it's so hard to ignore them. It's hard to have an unwavering faith ever, let alone day after day after day of uncertainty.
We found out today we will definately have to do invitro and more than likely, will have to do a specialized kind called ICSI: intracytoplasmic sperm injection. That is where they actually inject a sperm into an egg. 1 egg + 1 sperm = 1 embryo. I'm starting to worry that there won't be sperm when we need them. I'm starting to worry it won't work. I'm starting to wonder what will happen if we have to adopt and how will I feel about not having a 1/2Joe 1/2Rachel and no pregnancy to experience. I worry about what if we have multiples and it's more $ to put them in daycare than what I make. What if we can't afford our house anymore? But mostly it's what if this dream I've had since I was old enough to dream of being a mom is on God's NO list? It hurts to admit to myself that I may be that one in a million girl who just isn't going to be a mom, and that I can't control that.
So despite all my smiles and upbeat comments, my outlook today doesn't feel so sunny. I want to believe, but it's very hard for me to see the half full glass right now.
Joe's test results are all what we expected today. If you want to know specifics, let me know and I'll fill you in. He is on medication now that may (if they work) make some difference within 4 months. That would put in vitro/ ICSI for July for us. That's the timing we wanted. (Due date next April then...) Pray that things line up for us. Pray that God works his miracle in this early time for us. And pray for my sanity. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the ups and downs. But mostly I'm tired of being afraid and doubtful.
We found out today we will definately have to do invitro and more than likely, will have to do a specialized kind called ICSI: intracytoplasmic sperm injection. That is where they actually inject a sperm into an egg. 1 egg + 1 sperm = 1 embryo. I'm starting to worry that there won't be sperm when we need them. I'm starting to worry it won't work. I'm starting to wonder what will happen if we have to adopt and how will I feel about not having a 1/2Joe 1/2Rachel and no pregnancy to experience. I worry about what if we have multiples and it's more $ to put them in daycare than what I make. What if we can't afford our house anymore? But mostly it's what if this dream I've had since I was old enough to dream of being a mom is on God's NO list? It hurts to admit to myself that I may be that one in a million girl who just isn't going to be a mom, and that I can't control that.
So despite all my smiles and upbeat comments, my outlook today doesn't feel so sunny. I want to believe, but it's very hard for me to see the half full glass right now.
Joe's test results are all what we expected today. If you want to know specifics, let me know and I'll fill you in. He is on medication now that may (if they work) make some difference within 4 months. That would put in vitro/ ICSI for July for us. That's the timing we wanted. (Due date next April then...) Pray that things line up for us. Pray that God works his miracle in this early time for us. And pray for my sanity. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the ups and downs. But mostly I'm tired of being afraid and doubtful.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Hannah's Hope
I am reading a wonderful book called "Hannah's Hope" about how Hannah suffered through years of infertility only to birth one of the greatest men in the Bible...Samuel. It has made me take a better look at God's plan for infertile women in his word. There are so many, and they almost always give birth to someone of greatness. Here's an excerpt:
"Infertility took center stage in God's account of history as the establishment and continuation of the Israelites seemed to be in question. Abraham was one hundred years old and Sarah was ninety when their child of promise was finally born. Isaac ,in turn, prayed for his barren wife, Rebekah, before God blaced twins within her womb. One of those boys, Jacob, also went on to taste fertility challenges. While he had twelve sons, only two came from his beloved wife, Rachel, who struggled through years of infertility, both "primary" and "secondary."
I've often wondered if Rachel's first son, Joseph, might also have battled to become a father. The Bible records only two sons for him, something rare in an age without birth control, when a large family was a sign of prestige."
Its always hard to see the big picture when you only hold one tiny piece. I know that it will all come together and make our picture perfect family eventually. Thank you to those of you who are praying for us daily and checking in, offering advice, and driving miles and miles to tell me your story and give me a hug. I love you guys! Pray for us tomorrow. We will be meeting with the urologist one last time to get the final word on pursuing invitro. Hopefully we will have a course of action by the end of April and begin the process in May. Love you guys!
"Infertility took center stage in God's account of history as the establishment and continuation of the Israelites seemed to be in question. Abraham was one hundred years old and Sarah was ninety when their child of promise was finally born. Isaac ,in turn, prayed for his barren wife, Rebekah, before God blaced twins within her womb. One of those boys, Jacob, also went on to taste fertility challenges. While he had twelve sons, only two came from his beloved wife, Rachel, who struggled through years of infertility, both "primary" and "secondary."
I've often wondered if Rachel's first son, Joseph, might also have battled to become a father. The Bible records only two sons for him, something rare in an age without birth control, when a large family was a sign of prestige."
Its always hard to see the big picture when you only hold one tiny piece. I know that it will all come together and make our picture perfect family eventually. Thank you to those of you who are praying for us daily and checking in, offering advice, and driving miles and miles to tell me your story and give me a hug. I love you guys! Pray for us tomorrow. We will be meeting with the urologist one last time to get the final word on pursuing invitro. Hopefully we will have a course of action by the end of April and begin the process in May. Love you guys!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
music and lyrics
So I went to visit my brother and meet his girlfriend for Spring Break. Sounds great, right? Yeah...we went to church on Sunday. I met Cyndi mere moments before I learned what the sermon was on...BABY DEDICATION SERVICE. Can't a girl get a break sometime?!?! 3 sermons heard this year...3 sermons about babies...3 emotional breakdowns. Just when I thought I was over the hump.
So anyways...I've been listening to a couple of songs over and over and reading a wonderful book called Hannahs Hope. More on that to come. In the meantime, here are some of my words of comfort echoing in my head...and my car as I drive along I20!
Faith To Be Strong
from "Carried Along"Words by Andrew Peterson
Give us faith to be strongFather, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong
Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope
Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong.
Who Am I
by Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
So anyways...I've been listening to a couple of songs over and over and reading a wonderful book called Hannahs Hope. More on that to come. In the meantime, here are some of my words of comfort echoing in my head...and my car as I drive along I20!
Faith To Be Strong
from "Carried Along"Words by Andrew Peterson
Give us faith to be strongFather, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong
Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope
Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong.
Who Am I
by Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
Friday, March 14, 2008
how often do you get to have a lingerie shower for yourself?
Once, right? There's that inevitable day when you have your "personal shower" (as some say) and all your friends (and maybe your mother-in-law and her friends too) buy you fun things to wear for your husband.
Well, in college there were a slew of lingerie showers for the engaged girls our senior year, but several of us GATAs were without men in our lives. Someone had the brilliant idea to have a party for all us single gals! We traded names and sizes and everyone brought and got a gift! We played silly shower games and had prizes and all kinds of looney fun!
Now, several years later and a couple years into marriage, I have experienced another of these showers. The young married women at church have been immeasurably blessed to have just completed a study on what God intends for sex in your marriage. We read a book called INTIMATE ISSUES and have spent 12 weeks discovering what God had planned when he first put Adam and Eve together. It's been an incredible study with only one way we could really celebrate its conclusion...a lingerie shower for ourselves!
Wednesday night we held the shower at my house, complete with fondue, games, and random door prizes (a Barry White cd, a belly dancing instructional video, candle and perfume sets, etc.) It was SO FUN! We dedcided it should be an annual event now for our class! These past few weeks have been so wonderful to bond this group of young ladies together that we want to spend more and more time together, and I look forward to what is in store in the upcoming months.
But for now, I am thankful to have all of this newly acquired knowledge and some new lingerie that I didn't buy myself! Girls, if your church is open minded enough to let you do this, it really was a fantastic study. I recommend each of you married ladies read the book, if not study it with a group. It brought out so many issues in each of us and really made us examine our own minds and hearts and what we are willing to give to our husbands. And it has made me so much more aware of the complexity of God and how we are designed so purposefully. We DO serve and awesome Lord!
Well, in college there were a slew of lingerie showers for the engaged girls our senior year, but several of us GATAs were without men in our lives. Someone had the brilliant idea to have a party for all us single gals! We traded names and sizes and everyone brought and got a gift! We played silly shower games and had prizes and all kinds of looney fun!
Now, several years later and a couple years into marriage, I have experienced another of these showers. The young married women at church have been immeasurably blessed to have just completed a study on what God intends for sex in your marriage. We read a book called INTIMATE ISSUES and have spent 12 weeks discovering what God had planned when he first put Adam and Eve together. It's been an incredible study with only one way we could really celebrate its conclusion...a lingerie shower for ourselves!
Wednesday night we held the shower at my house, complete with fondue, games, and random door prizes (a Barry White cd, a belly dancing instructional video, candle and perfume sets, etc.) It was SO FUN! We dedcided it should be an annual event now for our class! These past few weeks have been so wonderful to bond this group of young ladies together that we want to spend more and more time together, and I look forward to what is in store in the upcoming months.
But for now, I am thankful to have all of this newly acquired knowledge and some new lingerie that I didn't buy myself! Girls, if your church is open minded enough to let you do this, it really was a fantastic study. I recommend each of you married ladies read the book, if not study it with a group. It brought out so many issues in each of us and really made us examine our own minds and hearts and what we are willing to give to our husbands. And it has made me so much more aware of the complexity of God and how we are designed so purposefully. We DO serve and awesome Lord!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Quick update...
Joe and I have completed our multiple rounds of fertility testing and are coming out still in one piece on the other side! Hooray! I have gotten the green light on all of my tests so far, so praise God!!! I can carry a baby if one ever finds it's way into my belly! My spirits are up considerably, as are Joe's which makes for a much happier household. On March 25th we will be meeting once more with Joe's doctors. Joe and I are opting to expect the most out of this...so we are expecting InVitro and from that, we are expecting triplets. (better to be overprepared we say!) It's nice to be through the beginning stages of greif (anger, resentment, bargaining) and on to acceptance.
We know that God has a plan for us and we trust him completely. Do I still get angry when I see yet another unwed mother at school pregnant with child #7 by man #7? Yes. Does it hurt my heart for kids to say, "you ain't got no kids?" Yes. (for grammatical reasons as well as emotional). Do I still cry for no reason at baby commercials, baby clothes, and strangers with their newborns? Absolutely. But I know that is all because God has put such a strong desire in me to be a mom. It's going to happen. It may cost my more money than what is in my bank account, more tears than I have cummulatively shed in my lifetime, and for sure, more time than I anticipated...but no one will love their baby like we will. We have prayed, toiled and will continue to suffer for our family. And we'll be happy we did one day soon.
To add to my hardships, I have learned of 2 more friends struggling with infertility. One, is an amazing girl, who may as well be my sister. She is beginning her journey through this and I'm happy to be on a more joyful side as I walk with her through her greif. And another friend, I only know through blogging, who has only been pregnant 3 months has gotten devastating news about her unborn baby and a chromosome disorder that may take it's life.
Those of you who have children, be overly and abundantly thankful for them! There are many of us who long to be in your place!
We know that God has a plan for us and we trust him completely. Do I still get angry when I see yet another unwed mother at school pregnant with child #7 by man #7? Yes. Does it hurt my heart for kids to say, "you ain't got no kids?" Yes. (for grammatical reasons as well as emotional). Do I still cry for no reason at baby commercials, baby clothes, and strangers with their newborns? Absolutely. But I know that is all because God has put such a strong desire in me to be a mom. It's going to happen. It may cost my more money than what is in my bank account, more tears than I have cummulatively shed in my lifetime, and for sure, more time than I anticipated...but no one will love their baby like we will. We have prayed, toiled and will continue to suffer for our family. And we'll be happy we did one day soon.
To add to my hardships, I have learned of 2 more friends struggling with infertility. One, is an amazing girl, who may as well be my sister. She is beginning her journey through this and I'm happy to be on a more joyful side as I walk with her through her greif. And another friend, I only know through blogging, who has only been pregnant 3 months has gotten devastating news about her unborn baby and a chromosome disorder that may take it's life.
Those of you who have children, be overly and abundantly thankful for them! There are many of us who long to be in your place!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Meltdown take 2
Imagine Wiley Coyote walking along. "Look at the beautiful sunset over there! Everything sure is going my way today..." He looks down and....FWOOOMP! He thought he was walking on ground, but...nope!
So Sunday we had yet another tumultuous time. Randy preached about children and their importance in Biblical history and at the end of service invited all the families to bring their children up to be prayed for. I knew he was going to do this. He told us earlier this week so we could bring the kids in from Bible Hour. But I still got teary. Now, when I get teary and am holding it in, if ANYONE talks to me, I fall apart. My good friend Kara saw I was teetering and came to check on me. Gushing tears all of a sudden. My mother in law holds me and prays with me, sad sighs in my direction from surrounding people, another batch of kleenex crumpled in my hands.
After church I cry through a series of people coming to talk to me about how infertility has touched their families, followed by Aud telling me my eyes are pretty when I cry. :) I go to class somewhat collected where someone in class announces....yes...they're pregnant. I get up and leave (a pre-imptive move) and go cry in the bathroom. My BFF in training, Tanya, follows me in and sits with me. It was great to have someone with me who didnt' want to offer advice. She knew I just needed her there next to me. After that I ran into Randy in the hall. I told him I'm not liking him so much right now...he keeps making me cry! He prayed with me and talked to me about things for a few minutes. During that talk he told me he had not intended on telling about he and his wife's struggle to have kids (the talk that sent Joe and I into an emotional downward spiral!) I told him I felt like he was preaching just to me that day.
I know God has this in control. I know something will happen for us one way or another. But those down days are really low. It takes everything happy out of me for a full 24 hours and its so hard to recover from. I guess that's the really hard part about this waiting time...we never know when we'll look down and the ground will be missing. FWOOMP!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
happies and sads
well, after a few more days to digest the possibilities, I have to say that I am doing much better. Joe is joking about it a lot more (a good sign) and I havent severely cried over it in almost 2 weeks! I do find myself getting teary over little things tho...lyrics to a song, walking through the cute baby clothes at a shop with Mom and my girlfriends, seeing pregnant women at the supermarket.
But things aren't all sad. There are lots of joys getting me through right now. So here are just a few to prove I'm not as distraught as I could be...
1. We went to see my BFF's new house in Granbury and it is nothing short of AMAZING. I know where I'll be spending my summer this year! It is one of the most gorgeous houses I have ever set foot in and it is inspiring Joe and I to get on a better budget and start saving for our future awesome home!
2. My kids from Art Club and I are taking part in a big parade in Fort Worth in 2 weeks. We are the youngest of 900 kids participating and we are going to be Jungle Animals. Our masks are so cool...they are made out of packing tape, paint, tissue paper and glue. WOW. Who knew you could do so much with tape? We have 2 lions, 2 monkeys, 2 elephants, a zebra, tiger, giraffe, toucan, hippo and rhino. Here are a few of my favorites...
We are marching on March 8th, so be looking for future posts on that! We are makign costumes next week that the kids designed!
3. We have been doing a study on Wednesday nights called INTIMATE ISSUES. If you have never read this and you are a young married woman, I HIGHLY recommend it. And your husband will LOVE that you read it too. It is about what God intends for sex in your marriage and it has been a wonderful 11 weeks with the girls from my young marrieds class. We laugh so much and have really learned a lot about being better wives to our husbands. I have had a big smile each week tho, as I think about what a blessing my husband is. Last night a friend was saying in class how my husband has made her husband want to be better at loving her, cuz he sees how Joe treats and loves me when we are with them. Awww. Good Joey!
But things aren't all sad. There are lots of joys getting me through right now. So here are just a few to prove I'm not as distraught as I could be...
1. We went to see my BFF's new house in Granbury and it is nothing short of AMAZING. I know where I'll be spending my summer this year! It is one of the most gorgeous houses I have ever set foot in and it is inspiring Joe and I to get on a better budget and start saving for our future awesome home!
2. My kids from Art Club and I are taking part in a big parade in Fort Worth in 2 weeks. We are the youngest of 900 kids participating and we are going to be Jungle Animals. Our masks are so cool...they are made out of packing tape, paint, tissue paper and glue. WOW. Who knew you could do so much with tape? We have 2 lions, 2 monkeys, 2 elephants, a zebra, tiger, giraffe, toucan, hippo and rhino. Here are a few of my favorites...
We are marching on March 8th, so be looking for future posts on that! We are makign costumes next week that the kids designed!3. We have been doing a study on Wednesday nights called INTIMATE ISSUES. If you have never read this and you are a young married woman, I HIGHLY recommend it. And your husband will LOVE that you read it too. It is about what God intends for sex in your marriage and it has been a wonderful 11 weeks with the girls from my young marrieds class. We laugh so much and have really learned a lot about being better wives to our husbands. I have had a big smile each week tho, as I think about what a blessing my husband is. Last night a friend was saying in class how my husband has made her husband want to be better at loving her, cuz he sees how Joe treats and loves me when we are with them. Awww. Good Joey!
4. I am being so supported by people both here and far away that it makes it hard for me to not thing positively about my baby prognosis. There is no part of me that thinks this won't happen for us. There is no part of me that fears God won't bless us. I find myself wanting more and more faith with each passing day and I'm excited to see where he takes me along this journey. A new blog friend of mine has recently prevailed over this same struggle and she has encouraged me more than I can say. Her words uplift me when I'm feeling down and I keep going back to read them again and again. So thanks Taylor!
I leave you with lyrics (yet again) that made me cry this week. Some songs you've heard so many times you don't think about the words any more. I grew up listening to the Beatles but never paid attention to the words I guess. Jaime, thanks for the CD. This song is on perpetual repeat in my car...
LET IT BE
"And when the sky is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow...let it be. I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary (or GOD) comes to me, speaking words of wisdom. LET IT BE."
I'll let this be. And it WILL be alright in the end.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
in vitro in our lives
Doctor says this is our best chance. In vitro. What's that entail? When? How much? Don't know yet. Few more tests to run. We'll meet back with him at the end of March to make further plans. Obviously NOT what we wanted to hear today. Pray for God to take that small SMALL possibility that we can do this on our own before we start down this road to further debt!
Thanks for your prayers...
Thanks for your prayers...
Sunday, February 10, 2008
An unexpected Sunday
This morning began like any other Sunday. Get up. Get ready for church. Walk in. Sing. Pray. But it was not an ordinary Sunday for us...
Joe was asked to give the communion meditation today. Something he has done a few times before, but Joe's not much for speaking in front of a crowd. He knew what he was going to say. He was going to talk about frustration. About how there are times in life where you think you have it so bad and that the cards are stacked against you. But that it's in those times you have to remember that Jesus endured far worse than you are. That His plans are not your plans.
Good thoughts, right? Joe didn't make it through the first sentence. Nor any sentence after. Tears were streaming down his face as he slowly choked through it. I (of course) was silently crying with him. My mother in law scooted a little closer to me.
Then Randy Todd got up. He's our new preacher and has been with us only a few short weeks. We haven't heard him but once or twice, as we are usually back in Bible Hour during the sermon. Randy spoke today about praying boldly and with expectation that God will not only hear you, but will answer you. I found myself unable to stop the tears from coming. Praying boldly. Expecting God to act. Not my strong suit right now. In fact, 2 days ago I was very angry with God.
Romans 12:11-12
11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Patient in affliction, eh? Yeah, that's easy to say. Hard to do. As Randy finished up his lesson, he spoke about he and his wife and their struggle to have children. They now have 4, but for a long while, it looked like it would be zero. That pushed me over the edge. I am audibley crying at this point and my husband is desperately trying to fight his tears. As they begin the invitation song, I realize this is the day we are supposed to let the world know. We go forward with about 8 friends surrounding us. The elder I speak to cries with me. And we tell our church how we are struggling to have a baby. How we are getting bad test results and are fearful of what may never come to us.
We were prayed for several times. I was hugged by people I've never met. And I was consoled tearfully by many women who have been in my shoes. One woman told me...you know God did this on purpose. He made sure your husband was chosen to speak first. He made sure you weren't in Bible Hour this one day. He made sure that the songs we sang and the lesson spoken were exactly directed to you. Today. Today was for you.
Its true. Its hard to explain the overwhelming emotion that was pouring out of me today. A day I had NO idea was coming.
I say all this to ask you to join us...me, Joe, our families, our friends, and now our congregation in bold prayer for our future family. I know we may have a long, hard road ahead. I know I will spend many more hours crying over this. But I have to believe that God put this desire in me and has every intention of fulfilling it. So in the words of Journey..."DONT STOP BELIEVIN'"
Joe was asked to give the communion meditation today. Something he has done a few times before, but Joe's not much for speaking in front of a crowd. He knew what he was going to say. He was going to talk about frustration. About how there are times in life where you think you have it so bad and that the cards are stacked against you. But that it's in those times you have to remember that Jesus endured far worse than you are. That His plans are not your plans.
Good thoughts, right? Joe didn't make it through the first sentence. Nor any sentence after. Tears were streaming down his face as he slowly choked through it. I (of course) was silently crying with him. My mother in law scooted a little closer to me.
Then Randy Todd got up. He's our new preacher and has been with us only a few short weeks. We haven't heard him but once or twice, as we are usually back in Bible Hour during the sermon. Randy spoke today about praying boldly and with expectation that God will not only hear you, but will answer you. I found myself unable to stop the tears from coming. Praying boldly. Expecting God to act. Not my strong suit right now. In fact, 2 days ago I was very angry with God.
Romans 12:11-12
11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Patient in affliction, eh? Yeah, that's easy to say. Hard to do. As Randy finished up his lesson, he spoke about he and his wife and their struggle to have children. They now have 4, but for a long while, it looked like it would be zero. That pushed me over the edge. I am audibley crying at this point and my husband is desperately trying to fight his tears. As they begin the invitation song, I realize this is the day we are supposed to let the world know. We go forward with about 8 friends surrounding us. The elder I speak to cries with me. And we tell our church how we are struggling to have a baby. How we are getting bad test results and are fearful of what may never come to us.
We were prayed for several times. I was hugged by people I've never met. And I was consoled tearfully by many women who have been in my shoes. One woman told me...you know God did this on purpose. He made sure your husband was chosen to speak first. He made sure you weren't in Bible Hour this one day. He made sure that the songs we sang and the lesson spoken were exactly directed to you. Today. Today was for you.
Its true. Its hard to explain the overwhelming emotion that was pouring out of me today. A day I had NO idea was coming.
I say all this to ask you to join us...me, Joe, our families, our friends, and now our congregation in bold prayer for our future family. I know we may have a long, hard road ahead. I know I will spend many more hours crying over this. But I have to believe that God put this desire in me and has every intention of fulfilling it. So in the words of Journey..."DONT STOP BELIEVIN'"
Sunday, January 20, 2008
news news news
Well, no news is good news I guess. Right? I realized today that I haven't been blogging lately and thought I'd send a quick little update. I was asked at church by several people about a "rumor" that we were moving. No. We are not. I quickly added it together that my blog was what was perpetuating this. So...here's the story for now....
Joe got a promotion in mid-December into lower management. It was a sizable salary jump and he is really excited about making a difference there. I can't ask him to leave that right now. He really feels like he needs to stick with this for a little while. While my school year is really crappy right now, I don't forsee leaving the campus either. We are toying with the idea of my switching school districts, but obviously we'd be metroplex bound so Joe can stay at Penson.
To add to this...the house across the street was forclosed last month and some of our friends are looking to buy right now. How fun would THAT be? To live across the street from our close friends? Awesome!
So, that's the short of the move "rumors" for now. Things are on hold at least for another year or two. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I will blog soon with pics from our Christmas cruise to Mexico...it was wonderful!
Joe got a promotion in mid-December into lower management. It was a sizable salary jump and he is really excited about making a difference there. I can't ask him to leave that right now. He really feels like he needs to stick with this for a little while. While my school year is really crappy right now, I don't forsee leaving the campus either. We are toying with the idea of my switching school districts, but obviously we'd be metroplex bound so Joe can stay at Penson.
To add to this...the house across the street was forclosed last month and some of our friends are looking to buy right now. How fun would THAT be? To live across the street from our close friends? Awesome!
So, that's the short of the move "rumors" for now. Things are on hold at least for another year or two. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I will blog soon with pics from our Christmas cruise to Mexico...it was wonderful!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Let me catch you up!
Hello all!
It has been perhaps the busiest 3 weeks in past memory and I am so excited to be winding down school and heading out on Mexican cruise next Monday! I need some R and R and am looking forward to some fun in the sun!
It's been a while since my trip to New York, but I have to share some highlights with my adoring public, right? Here's the rundown with a few pics...
Joe and I celebrated anniversary #2 in NYC the 18th-23rd of November. That Sunday we did the typical things....walked the city, ate hotdogs in the park, marvelled at the big piano in FAO Shwartz.
Monday was our actual anniversary. We spent the day freezing our butts off at the statue of Liberty and Ellis Island and walked from the pier all the way up through Ground Zero, the Financial District, SoHo and into Grenich Village. It was quite a trek! Finally we jumped on the subway and headed back the hotel. For dinner, my folks sent us to Tavern on the Green and we finished the day at the Empire State Bldg. It was such a fantastic day!
Tuesday was spend at the Natural History Museum (of NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM fame) and then went up to Harlem to eat Soul Food and visit the Apollo. (Joe said even HE was surprised at how many black people there were around. :) The museum was really incredible and there are more things I could say about it than I would ever have room to write. If you ever get to go, you should...it's like the zoo, but all the animals are always out. They also had a great display on the Gola tribe from Liberia, my father-in-law's tribe!
Tuesday night we saw "Young Frankenstein" with Megan Mullally, Roger Bart, Sutton Foster and Andrea Martin. It was great fun! Especially since we were sitting next to a fellow FWISD teacher. (what are the odds?)
Wednesday we went shopping on Canal Street and Soho. We met our family friend for lunch a cuban restaurant and took the NBC studio tour, where we got to see where they film Conan and SNL. We tried to get out the balloon inflations for the parade, but we were too late. No biggie tho...we were eating with one of Joe's clients at Hard Rock Times Square and had our meal comped. (She knows the manager. It was pretty awesome! We had a GREAT time!)
Ah, and Thursday...the big event...the MACYS PARADE!!! It was SO much fun!!!! I can't begin to tell you how awesome it was! It's my single favorite thing I have ever done in my life! No exaggeration! We had to be at MACYs at 545 am to get into costume. We were clothed, made-up, and bused over to Central Park by 7. Then we just wait and watch. We were close enough to touch most of the GIANT balloon. (Doras foot is bigger than my car.) We saw celebrities (Hairspray cast, the new Meneudo, Dolly Parton, Mayor Bloomberg, Ashley Tisdale, Neo, etc.) But the best part was actulally walking down Broadway those 3 miles. When you hear, "Cowboy clowns, JOIN THE PARADE!!!" on the speakers, it was just mayhem the whole way! Laughing, cheering, little faces pressed against windows as high up as you could look. We passed over 3 million viewers. It was incredible! Kids hug you, people beg to take a picture with you...so fun!
After the parade, we met another of Joe's friends for lunch and cheesecake and then took a well deserved nap. For Thanksgiving dinner, we ate with our family friend, Reagan, and his friends. We felt very out of place, but very cool at the same time. :) We were with 27 strangers in a Manhattan apartment for about 3 hours. Everyone was very "new york" and we were more impressed with each person we met....the Disney cruise execs, the director of the parade, the founder of Camp Broadway.... It was an amazing experience that I wish I could have EVERY SINGLE THANKSGIVING!
Friday we walked the streets and enjoyed our last moments before flying to Austin to meet my family at my grandparents. It was just the best trip and such a blessing to share with my best friend- Joe. I love having such amazing memories with my sweet husband.
There is so much more to tell and so many more pics, but I'll spare you. This has been a LONG post, so I'll shut up, but look for a post abotu Mel's weddign soon...it was so great to see some of you!
It has been perhaps the busiest 3 weeks in past memory and I am so excited to be winding down school and heading out on Mexican cruise next Monday! I need some R and R and am looking forward to some fun in the sun!
It's been a while since my trip to New York, but I have to share some highlights with my adoring public, right? Here's the rundown with a few pics...Joe and I celebrated anniversary #2 in NYC the 18th-23rd of November. That Sunday we did the typical things....walked the city, ate hotdogs in the park, marvelled at the big piano in FAO Shwartz.
Monday was our actual anniversary. We spent the day freezing our butts off at the statue of Liberty and Ellis Island and walked from the pier all the way up through Ground Zero, the Financial District, SoHo and into Grenich Village. It was quite a trek! Finally we jumped on the subway and headed back the hotel. For dinner, my folks sent us to Tavern on the Green and we finished the day at the Empire State Bldg. It was such a fantastic day!
Tuesday was spend at the Natural History Museum (of NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM fame) and then went up to Harlem to eat Soul Food and visit the Apollo. (Joe said even HE was surprised at how many black people there were around. :) The museum was really incredible and there are more things I could say about it than I would ever have room to write. If you ever get to go, you should...it's like the zoo, but all the animals are always out. They also had a great display on the Gola tribe from Liberia, my father-in-law's tribe!
Tuesday night we saw "Young Frankenstein" with Megan Mullally, Roger Bart, Sutton Foster and Andrea Martin. It was great fun! Especially since we were sitting next to a fellow FWISD teacher. (what are the odds?)Wednesday we went shopping on Canal Street and Soho. We met our family friend for lunch a cuban restaurant and took the NBC studio tour, where we got to see where they film Conan and SNL. We tried to get out the balloon inflations for the parade, but we were too late. No biggie tho...we were eating with one of Joe's clients at Hard Rock Times Square and had our meal comped. (She knows the manager. It was pretty awesome! We had a GREAT time!)
Ah, and Thursday...the big event...the MACYS PARADE!!! It was SO much fun!!!! I can't begin to tell you how awesome it was! It's my single favorite thing I have ever done in my life! No exaggeration! We had to be at MACYs at 545 am to get into costume. We were clothed, made-up, and bused over to Central Park by 7. Then we just wait and watch. We were close enough to touch most of the GIANT balloon. (Doras foot is bigger than my car.) We saw celebrities (Hairspray cast, the new Meneudo, Dolly Parton, Mayor Bloomberg, Ashley Tisdale, Neo, etc.) But the best part was actulally walking down Broadway those 3 miles. When you hear, "Cowboy clowns, JOIN THE PARADE!!!" on the speakers, it was just mayhem the whole way! Laughing, cheering, little faces pressed against windows as high up as you could look. We passed over 3 million viewers. It was incredible! Kids hug you, people beg to take a picture with you...so fun!
After the parade, we met another of Joe's friends for lunch and cheesecake and then took a well deserved nap. For Thanksgiving dinner, we ate with our family friend, Reagan, and his friends. We felt very out of place, but very cool at the same time. :) We were with 27 strangers in a Manhattan apartment for about 3 hours. Everyone was very "new york" and we were more impressed with each person we met....the Disney cruise execs, the director of the parade, the founder of Camp Broadway.... It was an amazing experience that I wish I could have EVERY SINGLE THANKSGIVING!Friday we walked the streets and enjoyed our last moments before flying to Austin to meet my family at my grandparents. It was just the best trip and such a blessing to share with my best friend- Joe. I love having such amazing memories with my sweet husband.
There is so much more to tell and so many more pics, but I'll spare you. This has been a LONG post, so I'll shut up, but look for a post abotu Mel's weddign soon...it was so great to see some of you!
Monday, December 03, 2007
Ho ho ho!
More news to come on New York and Thanksgiving fun. In the meantime...enjoy this holiday cheer!
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1153087083
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1153087083
Thursday, November 15, 2007
News to know...
Monday is my 2nd anniversary with Joe. Can you believe it's been that long? Its hard to believe that I have been with my sweetie for 704 days now... I am so proud to be married to such a godly, wonderful man who loves me so much.
That sweet boy is taking me on yet another wonderful anniversary trip this year. As you remember, last year we went to Santa Fe for the week and enjoyed the mountains, great food and art. This year we are off to the Big Apple for 5 fun filled days! We'll be eating at Serendipity, skating inCentral Park, seeing Young Frankenstein (the new Mel Brooks Musical) and last, but not least...MARCHING IN THE MACY'S PARADE! We got our assignments last week...we will be western clowns! I am so excited! Look for us on TV! I don't know when or where we are in the parade, and may not know until I arrive at the parade site. But it doesn't matter...I'm going to be in the parade! Hooray!!! Look for many pictures and stories in a couple of weeks because this is going to be a trip to remember!
In other news...Joe was offered a promotion yesterday at Penson. It is a small step up, but gives him quite a bit more responsibility and people who report directly to him. It's kind of a lower management position over the department he's been in the past 3 years. No, this does not mean we are abandoning the moving plan. This actually will be a good stepping stone to a better job for him. AND...it will make the meantime much better for us too. Better job, better money, happier husband who is finally being rewarded for his hard work.
Happy Thanksgiving all! I'll leave you with my Dad's classic song...THE TURKEY SONG...
A Turkey sat on a backyard fence and this is the song that he sang:
Thanksgiving Day is coming
Gobble gobble gobble gobble
And I know I'll be eaten soon.
Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble
I would like to run away.
Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble
I don't like Thanksgiving Day! Hey!!
That sweet boy is taking me on yet another wonderful anniversary trip this year. As you remember, last year we went to Santa Fe for the week and enjoyed the mountains, great food and art. This year we are off to the Big Apple for 5 fun filled days! We'll be eating at Serendipity, skating inCentral Park, seeing Young Frankenstein (the new Mel Brooks Musical) and last, but not least...MARCHING IN THE MACY'S PARADE! We got our assignments last week...we will be western clowns! I am so excited! Look for us on TV! I don't know when or where we are in the parade, and may not know until I arrive at the parade site. But it doesn't matter...I'm going to be in the parade! Hooray!!! Look for many pictures and stories in a couple of weeks because this is going to be a trip to remember!
In other news...Joe was offered a promotion yesterday at Penson. It is a small step up, but gives him quite a bit more responsibility and people who report directly to him. It's kind of a lower management position over the department he's been in the past 3 years. No, this does not mean we are abandoning the moving plan. This actually will be a good stepping stone to a better job for him. AND...it will make the meantime much better for us too. Better job, better money, happier husband who is finally being rewarded for his hard work.
Happy Thanksgiving all! I'll leave you with my Dad's classic song...THE TURKEY SONG...
A Turkey sat on a backyard fence and this is the song that he sang:
Thanksgiving Day is coming
Gobble gobble gobble gobble
And I know I'll be eaten soon.
Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble
I would like to run away.
Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble
I don't like Thanksgiving Day! Hey!!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
movin on up?
So...Joe has begun to apply for new jobs and I am looking at school districts around the state. I think we are really going to do this...pick up and move! It's a crazy thought, but one I am really excited about!
Most of the jobs he is applying for right now are in Houston, so...if you live in the Houston area, give me some pointers. Where do you live? Where do we need to look/steer clear of/etc? Of course, nothing is set in stone, but we're trying to get a jump on things in case something pans out.
Keep us in your prayers. We are really wanting a major change and believe that this is what we need to do for our future family. I'll keep you posted!
Most of the jobs he is applying for right now are in Houston, so...if you live in the Houston area, give me some pointers. Where do you live? Where do we need to look/steer clear of/etc? Of course, nothing is set in stone, but we're trying to get a jump on things in case something pans out.
Keep us in your prayers. We are really wanting a major change and believe that this is what we need to do for our future family. I'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
breaking up is hard to do...
Sad news...
My best friend these days, Amy Tindell...is leaving. She's moving away and breaking my poor little heart. When I moved to Joe's church, and even after we were married for a while, I felt like I had given up all my girlfriends. I had no one I saw on a regular basis, no one to be silly with, no one who really knew me anymore. Until Amy came around. She was meant to be in my life from the very beginning, I'm convinced! We think alike, laugh at the same stupid stuff and have the same drive and passions. She is the most like a sister I have ever found. Her dad did my wedding ceremony, we travelled across the world together this summer, and were looking forward to one day raising our children together. Along the way, Amy and Brian became our closest friends. In fact, we spend every Thursday night with them, eating dinner, watching those awesome NBC shows and laughing about any and everything. What a blessing to have people like that in your life!
But her husband has a fantastic opportunity to work in Glenrose and can't turn it down. So Amy will no longer be working, and will be moving to Granbury in March. I'm so sad for myself and so happy for them and their future there. I will miss my friend so much...
But when Amy was over breaking the news to me last night, I discovered I can record 3 different shows on my new DVR AT THE SAME TIME! I told Amy that maybe my TV will be my new best friend. :)
My best friend these days, Amy Tindell...is leaving. She's moving away and breaking my poor little heart. When I moved to Joe's church, and even after we were married for a while, I felt like I had given up all my girlfriends. I had no one I saw on a regular basis, no one to be silly with, no one who really knew me anymore. Until Amy came around. She was meant to be in my life from the very beginning, I'm convinced! We think alike, laugh at the same stupid stuff and have the same drive and passions. She is the most like a sister I have ever found. Her dad did my wedding ceremony, we travelled across the world together this summer, and were looking forward to one day raising our children together. Along the way, Amy and Brian became our closest friends. In fact, we spend every Thursday night with them, eating dinner, watching those awesome NBC shows and laughing about any and everything. What a blessing to have people like that in your life!
But her husband has a fantastic opportunity to work in Glenrose and can't turn it down. So Amy will no longer be working, and will be moving to Granbury in March. I'm so sad for myself and so happy for them and their future there. I will miss my friend so much...
But when Amy was over breaking the news to me last night, I discovered I can record 3 different shows on my new DVR AT THE SAME TIME! I told Amy that maybe my TV will be my new best friend. :)
Monday, October 22, 2007
Homecoming fun...
Well, last year it was homecoming that inspired me to begin blogging as so many of my ACU friends do. So here we are a year later and I am still typing away! Things that have changed in the past 365 days? Not much. Same house, same job, same church, same cute husband! :) And luckily...same homecoming fun with 3 of my favorite people...Jamie, Brent and Jeremy!
This year is different though, because BRENT IS ENGAGED! Yep, I had met her already, but Jamie and Jeremy had not, so Brentifer (as they call themselves) came in from Florida so we could all get to know Jenny. She's adorable! She's a nurse, grew up attending church and has a great family (from what I hear). It's fun seeing Brent with someone...I wish the same for all my friends! We gave Jamie a hard time all weekend since Jeremy has a girlfriend, Brent is engaged and I'm married. Now that I think about it...that's really funny! Each one of us is in a different relationship status. Hmmmm....
Anyways, we will all be going to Florida in May for Brent's wedding (yes, Jeremy, you have to go). It's sad to know the 4 of us won't be together again for so long, but weekends like this one made it worthwhile. Here's some pics from the weekend.
"The greatest homecoming on earth"
Jamie, me and Jenny trapped in the animal cages...
Preying Mantises....(check out our new blog mantises.... http://gata1998.blogspot.com/ for our reunion next year!!!
At the game....we lost:(
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
My Man
I haven't been tagged for this...but how can I pass up the chance to tell you about my sweet Joey?
The name of the game: All about my MAN
The Game of Tag about your MAN:
1. Who is your man? Joseph Abu Varney
2. How long have you been together? 3 years in December since we started dating, 2 years in November since we were married
3. How long did you date? less than 2 before we knew we'd get married, almost 6 before we were engaged, 11 before we were married
4. How old is your man? 28
5. Who eats more? Joe
6. Who said "I love you" first? he did, I knew I wanted to, but it was such a big thing for us to actually say...I waited for him to first
7. Who is taller? Joe
8. Who sings better? Joe...he leads singing at Sunday night church, sings at weddings and funerals...I've even had people ask why he never tried out for American Idol. Jamie and I tried to get him to try for Sing Song host our senior year. He's an amazing tenor.
9. Who is smarter? I joke that I am, but he's pretty sharp!
10. Whose temper is worse? Both of us are pretty easy going. I tend to get upset when I'm stressed. Joe gets upset when he's pushed too far.
11. Who does the laundry? I wash, he helps fold and put away. He also does his own ironing.
12. Who takes out the garbage? Joe
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Joe
14. Who pays the bills? he does. I handle the mortgage, he handles the rest
15. Who is better with the computer? depends on why you are using it. Joe's job in on computers so he's pretty savvy
16. Who mows the lawn? Joe. I tell people that's the real reason I got married...so I don't have to mow anymore!
17. Who cooks dinner? Usually me, but Joe is very good at cooking a number of things.
18. Who drives when you are together? usually Joe, but not always in his car. He likes driving mine.
19. Who pays when you go out? We take turns since we still have separate accounts
20. Who is most stubborn? Me. Joe calls it "testing him" when I act that way
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Usually Joe. I don't like admitting that...
22. Whose parents do you see the most? Joe's since they live in the same city as us and go to church with us too
23. Who kissed who first? He kissed me after the longest 2 weeks EVER. I wanted to kiss him that first day we were "official," but I was scared to death that it would be weird.
24. Who asked who out? That depends on how you look at it. He told me that he wanted us to pursue a dating relationship in May that year. I said no. He took me to his Xmas party at work in December and I decided I wanted to be with him. The next day I told him and we've been together ever since.
25. Who proposed? Joe
26. Who is more sensitive? Me, but Joe is a big teddy bear
27. Who has more friends? Joe...EVERYONE LOVES HIM!
28. Who has more siblings? Joe, he has a twin brother and a little brother
29. Who wears the pants in the family? I'd say me, he'd say him. I think I probably make more decisions for us, but in major stuff it's always a two way street
I haven't been tagged for this...but how can I pass up the chance to tell you about my sweet Joey?
The name of the game: All about my MAN
The Game of Tag about your MAN:
1. Who is your man? Joseph Abu Varney
2. How long have you been together? 3 years in December since we started dating, 2 years in November since we were married
3. How long did you date? less than 2 before we knew we'd get married, almost 6 before we were engaged, 11 before we were married
4. How old is your man? 28
5. Who eats more? Joe
6. Who said "I love you" first? he did, I knew I wanted to, but it was such a big thing for us to actually say...I waited for him to first
7. Who is taller? Joe
8. Who sings better? Joe...he leads singing at Sunday night church, sings at weddings and funerals...I've even had people ask why he never tried out for American Idol. Jamie and I tried to get him to try for Sing Song host our senior year. He's an amazing tenor.
9. Who is smarter? I joke that I am, but he's pretty sharp!
10. Whose temper is worse? Both of us are pretty easy going. I tend to get upset when I'm stressed. Joe gets upset when he's pushed too far.
11. Who does the laundry? I wash, he helps fold and put away. He also does his own ironing.
12. Who takes out the garbage? Joe
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Joe
14. Who pays the bills? he does. I handle the mortgage, he handles the rest
15. Who is better with the computer? depends on why you are using it. Joe's job in on computers so he's pretty savvy
16. Who mows the lawn? Joe. I tell people that's the real reason I got married...so I don't have to mow anymore!
17. Who cooks dinner? Usually me, but Joe is very good at cooking a number of things.
18. Who drives when you are together? usually Joe, but not always in his car. He likes driving mine.
19. Who pays when you go out? We take turns since we still have separate accounts
20. Who is most stubborn? Me. Joe calls it "testing him" when I act that way
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Usually Joe. I don't like admitting that...
22. Whose parents do you see the most? Joe's since they live in the same city as us and go to church with us too
23. Who kissed who first? He kissed me after the longest 2 weeks EVER. I wanted to kiss him that first day we were "official," but I was scared to death that it would be weird.
24. Who asked who out? That depends on how you look at it. He told me that he wanted us to pursue a dating relationship in May that year. I said no. He took me to his Xmas party at work in December and I decided I wanted to be with him. The next day I told him and we've been together ever since.
25. Who proposed? Joe
26. Who is more sensitive? Me, but Joe is a big teddy bear
27. Who has more friends? Joe...EVERYONE LOVES HIM!
28. Who has more siblings? Joe, he has a twin brother and a little brother
29. Who wears the pants in the family? I'd say me, he'd say him. I think I probably make more decisions for us, but in major stuff it's always a two way street
Friday, October 05, 2007
Updates and Random Thoughts
It's been way too long since I posted! My life is officially crazy, so let me catch you up...
1. School is in full swing and I have found myself facilitating art inservice, writing even more curriculum, mentoring a new art teacher, not to mention teaching little ones all day long. Don't get me wrong...I still love it....just keeps me busy!
2. Joe and I are toying with the idea of leaving the metroplex. I have been unhappy with our church situation for a while now and am ready for a change. Being that it is Joe's childhood home church, it'd be easier to leave if we really LEAVE. It's also exciting to think of starting our life as a family somewhere new where we are the Varneys...not just Joe Varney and his wife.
3. Our church (while we're on the subject) just hired a new preacher. It was a quick turnaround (as we lost our preacher just this past July.) It's a big transition time for the congregation.
4. Everyone I know is getting married! We have showers all the time and are attending weddings non-stop! Joe has been in 2 already this year (one more next weekend) and I am in one in December (YAY MEL!) But we have been in attendance at countless mroe. Whew!
5. Summer is gone and my shows are back! Hooray! Do you watch the Office? It's been great the past 2 weeks! How bout 30 ROCK? Easily the funniest show on TV. Jamie's right on that one....you need to start watching it. Also, we are now hooked on Heroes....I love it!
That's the quick 411. Sorry for the long spurt with no bloggin! I'll try to be better!
1. School is in full swing and I have found myself facilitating art inservice, writing even more curriculum, mentoring a new art teacher, not to mention teaching little ones all day long. Don't get me wrong...I still love it....just keeps me busy!
2. Joe and I are toying with the idea of leaving the metroplex. I have been unhappy with our church situation for a while now and am ready for a change. Being that it is Joe's childhood home church, it'd be easier to leave if we really LEAVE. It's also exciting to think of starting our life as a family somewhere new where we are the Varneys...not just Joe Varney and his wife.
3. Our church (while we're on the subject) just hired a new preacher. It was a quick turnaround (as we lost our preacher just this past July.) It's a big transition time for the congregation.
4. Everyone I know is getting married! We have showers all the time and are attending weddings non-stop! Joe has been in 2 already this year (one more next weekend) and I am in one in December (YAY MEL!) But we have been in attendance at countless mroe. Whew!
5. Summer is gone and my shows are back! Hooray! Do you watch the Office? It's been great the past 2 weeks! How bout 30 ROCK? Easily the funniest show on TV. Jamie's right on that one....you need to start watching it. Also, we are now hooked on Heroes....I love it!
That's the quick 411. Sorry for the long spurt with no bloggin! I'll try to be better!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
selling a house...
Questions for home owners who have sold a house...
How much cost is there involved from the seller's end?
Is it worthwhile to move to a bigger place, with a VERY low cost simply for resale value?
How do you know what your house is worth?
There's lots more where that came from. There is a house that is MASSIVE at the end of our block. It is well over twice the size of ours and the price the real estate guy said they'd take for it is only $10,000 more than the cost of our house (as listed on our property taxes.) So in theory, if we could sell our house for that price, we could own a much bigger, nicer one in our neighborhood for very little change in our mortgage payment. My concerns are many about this, but....I'm wanting to look simply at numbers right now. The bigger house is worth much more than the asking price, but it has been marked down significantly due to the amount of time it's been on the market. Is it wise to consider this? The real estate man has been bending my ear about it for a few weeks. That they could sell our house for us, enabling us to buy this larger one. (Yes, I know this contradicts the moving somewhere else in Texas, but we are pursuing all options at this point.) What do you think?
Oh, and by the way....this house is AMAZING! Never been lived in, brand new!
How much cost is there involved from the seller's end?
Is it worthwhile to move to a bigger place, with a VERY low cost simply for resale value?
How do you know what your house is worth?
There's lots more where that came from. There is a house that is MASSIVE at the end of our block. It is well over twice the size of ours and the price the real estate guy said they'd take for it is only $10,000 more than the cost of our house (as listed on our property taxes.) So in theory, if we could sell our house for that price, we could own a much bigger, nicer one in our neighborhood for very little change in our mortgage payment. My concerns are many about this, but....I'm wanting to look simply at numbers right now. The bigger house is worth much more than the asking price, but it has been marked down significantly due to the amount of time it's been on the market. Is it wise to consider this? The real estate man has been bending my ear about it for a few weeks. That they could sell our house for us, enabling us to buy this larger one. (Yes, I know this contradicts the moving somewhere else in Texas, but we are pursuing all options at this point.) What do you think?
Oh, and by the way....this house is AMAZING! Never been lived in, brand new!
tagged by Jamie
Here's my answers to Jamie's tagged questions:
1. What does your favorite t-shirt say?
Well, I can't really think what my favorite t-shirt is. My most comfortable one is Joe's old softball jersey. I used to sleep in it when we were dating because it smelled like him...it says "Haterade."
2. What's your favorite sport to watch?
I like basketball....Mavericks in particular. (hope they don't let me down again like THE LAST 2 YEARS!!!)
3. What's your favorite season of the year?
Summer...I'm not working then!
4. What was your favorite event as a child?
Either summer camp or fourth of July. The 4th was a big deal in our family. We spent it with our best family friends and it was a early morning to late night party. Water balloons, brisket, homemade ice-cream and fireworks...great fun! And who doesn't love summer camp?
5. Name 3 things you would like to accomplish in your lifetime.
Some of you know that I have a list of things I want to do before I die. I'm well on my way to check them off. I'll give you 3...
a. Set foot in all 50 states (I have been to 37 so far).
b. Meet a current or former president.
c. Write a children's book.
**A couple I'm proud to have accomplished....sing on a broadway stage, skate in Rockerfellar Center, stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower, paint in Europe, watch a sunrise and sunset in the same day, buy a house....
1. What does your favorite t-shirt say?
Well, I can't really think what my favorite t-shirt is. My most comfortable one is Joe's old softball jersey. I used to sleep in it when we were dating because it smelled like him...it says "Haterade."
2. What's your favorite sport to watch?
I like basketball....Mavericks in particular. (hope they don't let me down again like THE LAST 2 YEARS!!!)
3. What's your favorite season of the year?
Summer...I'm not working then!
4. What was your favorite event as a child?
Either summer camp or fourth of July. The 4th was a big deal in our family. We spent it with our best family friends and it was a early morning to late night party. Water balloons, brisket, homemade ice-cream and fireworks...great fun! And who doesn't love summer camp?
5. Name 3 things you would like to accomplish in your lifetime.
Some of you know that I have a list of things I want to do before I die. I'm well on my way to check them off. I'll give you 3...
a. Set foot in all 50 states (I have been to 37 so far).
b. Meet a current or former president.
c. Write a children's book.
**A couple I'm proud to have accomplished....sing on a broadway stage, skate in Rockerfellar Center, stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower, paint in Europe, watch a sunrise and sunset in the same day, buy a house....
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Let's say....
#1 Let's say that Joe and I were thinking of leaving the metroplex. Let's say we're looking around for where to go....what would you suggest? What are some good places in Texas that are close to big cities and have good school systems....Let's say we could work out moving out of state. Where should we be? Where would we find a good church, cooler climate, etc? Give me some advice, and I'll clue you in on the Varney future forecast.
#2 Let's say it was hard to lose weight. (cuz it is). Let's say someone invented a REAL chewing gum like Willy Wonka's that is a 3 course meal. Wouldn't that be awesome! I have realized that I love the flavor of food and am more concerned with the taste than if it is filling. If I could have gum that tasted like foods I love with just a fraction of the calories...that would be awesome! So pass that along to some entrepreneur out there. Oh...and tell the to fix the dessert. Wonka screwed that part up and turned Violet into a blueberry! ("Violet! You're turning violet, Violet!")
#2 Let's say it was hard to lose weight. (cuz it is). Let's say someone invented a REAL chewing gum like Willy Wonka's that is a 3 course meal. Wouldn't that be awesome! I have realized that I love the flavor of food and am more concerned with the taste than if it is filling. If I could have gum that tasted like foods I love with just a fraction of the calories...that would be awesome! So pass that along to some entrepreneur out there. Oh...and tell the to fix the dessert. Wonka screwed that part up and turned Violet into a blueberry! ("Violet! You're turning violet, Violet!")
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
breifly...
Still not ready to blog on the remainder of my trip just yet. I'll get there...just not today.
I was just reading my posts from when I first started blogging and laughing at what was going on last year. I was just beginning to teach art and was so excited to be there at last! This new year is bringing a lot of new challenges my way. We have new curriculum (which of course I've seen and helped write), a whole new administration in my bldg (new principal, ap, instructional specialist AND literacy coach), new bilingual program entering my school, AND around 12 new teachers. In my 6 years at this school we have lost less than 10 in all. So to lose 12 in one year is brutal. It's going to be a different school completely. I'm anxious to see what will happen, nervous a little, but really excited to enter this year as an experienced art teacher.
School starts for me on Monday and the kiddos come back the following Monday. Hopefully the transitions will be easy...
I was just reading my posts from when I first started blogging and laughing at what was going on last year. I was just beginning to teach art and was so excited to be there at last! This new year is bringing a lot of new challenges my way. We have new curriculum (which of course I've seen and helped write), a whole new administration in my bldg (new principal, ap, instructional specialist AND literacy coach), new bilingual program entering my school, AND around 12 new teachers. In my 6 years at this school we have lost less than 10 in all. So to lose 12 in one year is brutal. It's going to be a different school completely. I'm anxious to see what will happen, nervous a little, but really excited to enter this year as an experienced art teacher.
School starts for me on Monday and the kiddos come back the following Monday. Hopefully the transitions will be easy...
Monday, August 06, 2007
100 things about me
Read Jamie's and Leslie's blogs on themselves and thought it would be fun to attempt. (I promise I'll blog about the rest of my trip soon.)
1. I am a twin.
2. I was considerably bigger than my twin brother at birth because I hogged all the food.
3. I'm married to a twin.
4. I have only ever had one pet that belonged to me. A dog named Brunswick.
5. I played the piano for 6 years.
6. My dad gave me the piano he bought for me in 1st grade this summer.
7. I have a minor in art.
8. I went to state for drawing in high school.
9. I played varsity volleyball for 2 years.
10. We won state both of them.
11. I quit for my senior year.
12. I was a manager and we won state again.
13. I was supposed to fly overseas on September 11th.
14. My flight never left.
15. I didn't fly until March of the next year.
16. I have had 2 roommates named Jamie (jaime) and they now live together.
17. I have been to 13 countries outside the US.
18. I have never been to Canada or Mexico.
19. I was on a plane that made an emergency landing in a foreign country when I was 13.
20. I've been to Alaska twice.
21. I have a goal to set foot in all 50 states. I have managed about 37 so far.
22. The week I bought my car, I put 3000 miles on it driving to and from Vegas.
23. I took a road trip with my dad to Montana when I was 23.
24. My mom and I go to Santa Fe every summer.
23. I think Santa Fe has the best food in the world.
24. Joe and I went there for our 1 year anniversary and went to a spa.
25. Since I was 9, I've known that I wanted to be an art teacher.
26. I just completed my first year as an art teacher.
27. I was offered a job as a children's minister this summer.
28. I couldn't walk away from the job I've wanted for 20 years tho.
29. I teach over 600 students a week.
30. I know all of their names.
31. I was punched in the face by a kindergartener the first week of school last year.
32. Another kindergartener threw an easel at me.
33. I have the largest classroom in my school.
34. I will be doing training the year at inservice.
35. I wrote the new 1st grade art curriculum for my district.
36. I co-wrote the new PK curriculum too.
37. I was approved for a house loan to build our house before I was engaged.
38. Joe proposed to me 2 days before school got out for summer so I could show off my ring at work.
39. I had the most fun wedding imaginable!
40. I practiced my karaoke song with the bridesmaids until late the night before.
41. I never once got nervous or thought about how many people were there during the wedding.
42. My dad warned me not to trip and embarrass him right before we went in.
43. He tripped on my dress right after that.
44. We laughed the whole walk down the aisle.
45. Joe and I were supposed to sing AINT NO MOUNTAIN together at the reception, but the words were never on the screen.
46. We hadn't practiced EVER>
47. We were at the reception for just 1 1/2 hours.
48. We never made it past the front of the stairwell to talk to people.
49. My friend Lauren tried to kill people to catch my bouquet.
50. We went to Vermont for our honeymoon.
51. We were the only guests in our hotel/cabin area.
52. It snowed 8 inches while we were there.
53. I cook dinner every night for my husband.
54. My specialty is Shepherd's Pie.
55. I also make good potato rolls.
56. I love Rachel Raye.
57. I cooked out of her cookbooks the first year we were married, almost every day.
58. I like watching Paula Dean on Food Network.
59. I've never made one of her recipes.
60. I think they might kill you from the shear volume of butter and cream.
61. I love dark chocolate.
62. Melanie gave me a hatbox full of differnet dark chocolates for my birthday one year.
63. It took Joe and I 8 months to eat it all.
64. I read the last Harry Potter book as soon as it came out.
65. I think it's the 2nd best of the series.
66. Prisoner of Askaban is my favorite. (book 3)
67. I love musical theater!
68. I've seen Les Miserables 5 times and in 4 different venues- New York, Lubbock, Dallas, London.
69. I've seen productions of well over 40 shows.
70. The Hairspray soundtrack has been playing in my car since before I left for Ukraine.
71. I equate Penny and Seaweed with me and Joe.
72. A lyric from a song they sing is engraved in the watch I gave Joe as a wedding gift.
73. It says, "to my Black White Knight." Penny sings, "Seaweed, you're my black white knight, I've found my blue eyed soul!"
74. Joe and I saw 2 interracial shows the weekend we went to Hairspray in Dallas- (it was the weekend Guess Who with Ashton Kutcher opened.)
75. I watch LOST faithfully.
76. I DID watch ALIAS faithfully until it got stupid.
77. I'm worried LOST is about to get stupid.
78. I watched every episode of FRIENDS when it originally aired except one.
79. I watched the one where Ross marries Emily in Nelson dorm, in the lobby, on the last night of freshman year.
80. Ross is my favorite character, even tho Joe says he's the one he would punch if he saw him.
81. We watch Thursday night TV with our best friends on a huge screen every week.
82. The Office is my new favorite show.
83. I quote 30 Rock on a regular basis.
84. I voice a puppet named Dena (named from Dreamgirls) and an alien puppet named Capt. Carol for Bible Hour.
85. I can't dance.
86. I'm embarrassed to try to learn to dance with Joe because he laughs when I try.
87. I can bike 15 miles pretty easily.
88. I can't swim well because I'm scared of getting water up my nose.
89. I've never attempted a dive.
90. I had an above ground pool when I was a kid.
91. The doll I always played with was named Bambo.
91. I think she is the ugliest doll taht was ever created.
92. My mom used to let me buy real diapers for her.
93. I went to LCU camps but went to ACU, and my brother went to ACU camps, but went to LCU.
94. I was a counselor at ACU camps with Jamie M., who I had met at those same camps 10 years earlier.
95. I was a youth intern in Denton after I graduated.
96. I lived with Melanie longer than anyone else outside of my family.
97. I have 16 mosquito bites on me at this moment.
98. I watch Days of our Lives every day in the summer.
99. I already know the names of my future children.
100. I blog because I like to read my own posts...even if no one else does!
1. I am a twin.
2. I was considerably bigger than my twin brother at birth because I hogged all the food.
3. I'm married to a twin.
4. I have only ever had one pet that belonged to me. A dog named Brunswick.
5. I played the piano for 6 years.
6. My dad gave me the piano he bought for me in 1st grade this summer.
7. I have a minor in art.
8. I went to state for drawing in high school.
9. I played varsity volleyball for 2 years.
10. We won state both of them.
11. I quit for my senior year.
12. I was a manager and we won state again.
13. I was supposed to fly overseas on September 11th.
14. My flight never left.
15. I didn't fly until March of the next year.
16. I have had 2 roommates named Jamie (jaime) and they now live together.
17. I have been to 13 countries outside the US.
18. I have never been to Canada or Mexico.
19. I was on a plane that made an emergency landing in a foreign country when I was 13.
20. I've been to Alaska twice.
21. I have a goal to set foot in all 50 states. I have managed about 37 so far.
22. The week I bought my car, I put 3000 miles on it driving to and from Vegas.
23. I took a road trip with my dad to Montana when I was 23.
24. My mom and I go to Santa Fe every summer.
23. I think Santa Fe has the best food in the world.
24. Joe and I went there for our 1 year anniversary and went to a spa.
25. Since I was 9, I've known that I wanted to be an art teacher.
26. I just completed my first year as an art teacher.
27. I was offered a job as a children's minister this summer.
28. I couldn't walk away from the job I've wanted for 20 years tho.
29. I teach over 600 students a week.
30. I know all of their names.
31. I was punched in the face by a kindergartener the first week of school last year.
32. Another kindergartener threw an easel at me.
33. I have the largest classroom in my school.
34. I will be doing training the year at inservice.
35. I wrote the new 1st grade art curriculum for my district.
36. I co-wrote the new PK curriculum too.
37. I was approved for a house loan to build our house before I was engaged.
38. Joe proposed to me 2 days before school got out for summer so I could show off my ring at work.
39. I had the most fun wedding imaginable!
40. I practiced my karaoke song with the bridesmaids until late the night before.
41. I never once got nervous or thought about how many people were there during the wedding.
42. My dad warned me not to trip and embarrass him right before we went in.
43. He tripped on my dress right after that.
44. We laughed the whole walk down the aisle.
45. Joe and I were supposed to sing AINT NO MOUNTAIN together at the reception, but the words were never on the screen.
46. We hadn't practiced EVER>
47. We were at the reception for just 1 1/2 hours.
48. We never made it past the front of the stairwell to talk to people.
49. My friend Lauren tried to kill people to catch my bouquet.
50. We went to Vermont for our honeymoon.
51. We were the only guests in our hotel/cabin area.
52. It snowed 8 inches while we were there.
53. I cook dinner every night for my husband.
54. My specialty is Shepherd's Pie.
55. I also make good potato rolls.
56. I love Rachel Raye.
57. I cooked out of her cookbooks the first year we were married, almost every day.
58. I like watching Paula Dean on Food Network.
59. I've never made one of her recipes.
60. I think they might kill you from the shear volume of butter and cream.
61. I love dark chocolate.
62. Melanie gave me a hatbox full of differnet dark chocolates for my birthday one year.
63. It took Joe and I 8 months to eat it all.
64. I read the last Harry Potter book as soon as it came out.
65. I think it's the 2nd best of the series.
66. Prisoner of Askaban is my favorite. (book 3)
67. I love musical theater!
68. I've seen Les Miserables 5 times and in 4 different venues- New York, Lubbock, Dallas, London.
69. I've seen productions of well over 40 shows.
70. The Hairspray soundtrack has been playing in my car since before I left for Ukraine.
71. I equate Penny and Seaweed with me and Joe.
72. A lyric from a song they sing is engraved in the watch I gave Joe as a wedding gift.
73. It says, "to my Black White Knight." Penny sings, "Seaweed, you're my black white knight, I've found my blue eyed soul!"
74. Joe and I saw 2 interracial shows the weekend we went to Hairspray in Dallas- (it was the weekend Guess Who with Ashton Kutcher opened.)
75. I watch LOST faithfully.
76. I DID watch ALIAS faithfully until it got stupid.
77. I'm worried LOST is about to get stupid.
78. I watched every episode of FRIENDS when it originally aired except one.
79. I watched the one where Ross marries Emily in Nelson dorm, in the lobby, on the last night of freshman year.
80. Ross is my favorite character, even tho Joe says he's the one he would punch if he saw him.
81. We watch Thursday night TV with our best friends on a huge screen every week.
82. The Office is my new favorite show.
83. I quote 30 Rock on a regular basis.
84. I voice a puppet named Dena (named from Dreamgirls) and an alien puppet named Capt. Carol for Bible Hour.
85. I can't dance.
86. I'm embarrassed to try to learn to dance with Joe because he laughs when I try.
87. I can bike 15 miles pretty easily.
88. I can't swim well because I'm scared of getting water up my nose.
89. I've never attempted a dive.
90. I had an above ground pool when I was a kid.
91. The doll I always played with was named Bambo.
91. I think she is the ugliest doll taht was ever created.
92. My mom used to let me buy real diapers for her.
93. I went to LCU camps but went to ACU, and my brother went to ACU camps, but went to LCU.
94. I was a counselor at ACU camps with Jamie M., who I had met at those same camps 10 years earlier.
95. I was a youth intern in Denton after I graduated.
96. I lived with Melanie longer than anyone else outside of my family.
97. I have 16 mosquito bites on me at this moment.
98. I watch Days of our Lives every day in the summer.
99. I already know the names of my future children.
100. I blog because I like to read my own posts...even if no one else does!
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