words words words

This past weekend I went to Canton with my mother in law, her best friend Sherry, and Sherry's daughter in law. Fun right? It really was! It was great to escape life for a while. This week has been a doozy (to say the least.) Between my finding out a very close friend is unexpectedly pregnant (and I am NOT), another very close friend has had his wedding called off by his fiance, ANOTHER very close friend has had his heart broken by a girl he's been with over a year...it goes on and on.
So in Canton, I discovered the wide world of motivational phrases. It seemed that every corner I turned, I saw another one that spoke to me. And after a couple of weeks of crying and anger on a daily basis, it was nice to feel like hope could be restored in that crazy brain of mine. Here are a few of my favorites:
1. Life is about how you handle plan B.
2. God doesn't always calm the storm. Sometimes he lets the storm rage and just calms his child.
3. When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step into the unknown darkness, of this we can be sure, Either God will provide something solid to stand or we will be taught to fly.
4. Where there is great love, there are always miracles.

And my favorite...
I believe in the sun, even if it does not shine. I believe in love, even if I do not feel it. And I believe in God, even when he's silent.

That's what I feel mostly now...that God is being silent. The lack of control that I have in this and the huge amount of fear of this unknown abyss has made me very pesimistic lately. And I think it's because I spend so much time praying and even yelling at God and I don't receive and answer. The waiting is the hardest part. Waiting for a baby, waiting for an unsuccessful IVF, waiting to adopt, waiting for triplets...who knows? Only God. And he hasn't told me yet...I wish he would. But until then, I am trying hard to hold on. Pray hard for me. Pray hard for Joe as he puts up with me. It is getting rougher every day.