Now...a few things to be excited over ala Rachel Varney...
1. Sweet Melanie is having a boy!!! Meaning when I get pregnant with a girl (oh, it's gonna happen, folks...), I will be the first girl in the gang. All your boys will want to marry my gorgeous mixed race daughter. ;)
2. We bought a bunch of flagstone at a very VERY low cost so we can add a patio and walkway in our backyard. Lots of work, but such a low cost, who cares! 
3. I went to Walmart for a few essentials and mosied through the clothes. (sometimes there are rare gems in there.) Today was one of those jackpot days. They had 2 dresses on clearance (both the last of their kind. both in MY new, smaller size!) and both only $3!!!! How cute are these???
4. And lastly, I have a strange prayer request. There is a church in Southlake that is giving away a free in vitro cycle (all fees paid) in honor of Father's Day. It has been all over the news and papers and they are only taking applications for one week. Joe and I have applied and are praying we are the lucky winners. The church will choose 10 couples based on the applications and then on Father's Day will draw a name at random from a hat. Strange thing is...it is in conjunction with the Fertility Clinic we are going to AND we put off starting until the end of this month when we should have been starting in April. Could God be setting this up for us? Maybe. If you are interested, our application "journey story" is below.
Our Journey
Joe and I met in the fall of 1997 in freshman Bible at ACU. Through 4 years of friendship in college, followed by 3 more in the adult world, we became best friends and trusted confidants for each other. Little did we know that God had a bigger plan for us… to be husband and wife! After a few short months of dating, we were engaged and ready to start our lives together. Joe and I knew when we married we wanted children and were nervous that we would have twins. Joe has a twin brother, and I also have a twin brother. While Joe is one “naturally,” I am a fertility baby. My brother and I were conceived on fertility medication as my parents both had complications with having children. After a year of marriage, I was ready to start our family, so for Valentines Day, Joe gave me a great gift- permission to go off birth control! But after almost a year and no pregnancy, I began to worry that there was something wrong with me. So in January, we began testing. We were shocked and devastated to find out that it was not me, but Joe and that not only could they not find the cause, they could not do anything to better our odds. As we continued to go to appointments and do more and more tests, the news got worse and worse. I found myself angry with God and unable to cope with my sadness and grief. One Sunday in January, our new preacher spoke about his own struggle through multiple miscarriages. I fell apart, as did my husband. I had several weeks of public breakdowns emotionally. Baby dedications, Mother’s Day and baby showers suddenly became torture. Then a dear friend of mine, married only a couple of weeks, became pregnant while on birth control. It was almost too much to bear. It seems like everyone we know is having babies and we are being left behind. Luckily, God has blessed me in many ways over the months. My best friend is also going through infertility and she has been an incredible comfort to me, as well as joining a local support group of women facing this struggle. God continues to shower us with people to support us and has helped us find money along the way as we go through so many doctor visits. So now we sit on the edge of major debt (I am a teacher and my husband is in management at a financial company in Dallas), still wondering if God will bless us in this way or not. My spiritual journey has intensified over the weeks and I feel like our marriage is stronger because of what we have been through so far. Joe and I are a bi-racial couple so we have often joked about adopting kids of other nationalities so none of us look like we belong together. In reality now, we face possibly not being biological parents, but adoptive instead. While that is not what we want, and not what we had planned, God may have a little one waiting to be loved by us that we haven’t met yet. We will accept whatever the Lord’s answer is, but we are so anxious to find out if it’s yes or no. If it’s pregnancy or adoption. We’re ready to be on the other side of the struggle, saying God DID bless us, and it was worth the wait.
Joe and I met in the fall of 1997 in freshman Bible at ACU. Through 4 years of friendship in college, followed by 3 more in the adult world, we became best friends and trusted confidants for each other. Little did we know that God had a bigger plan for us… to be husband and wife! After a few short months of dating, we were engaged and ready to start our lives together. Joe and I knew when we married we wanted children and were nervous that we would have twins. Joe has a twin brother, and I also have a twin brother. While Joe is one “naturally,” I am a fertility baby. My brother and I were conceived on fertility medication as my parents both had complications with having children. After a year of marriage, I was ready to start our family, so for Valentines Day, Joe gave me a great gift- permission to go off birth control! But after almost a year and no pregnancy, I began to worry that there was something wrong with me. So in January, we began testing. We were shocked and devastated to find out that it was not me, but Joe and that not only could they not find the cause, they could not do anything to better our odds. As we continued to go to appointments and do more and more tests, the news got worse and worse. I found myself angry with God and unable to cope with my sadness and grief. One Sunday in January, our new preacher spoke about his own struggle through multiple miscarriages. I fell apart, as did my husband. I had several weeks of public breakdowns emotionally. Baby dedications, Mother’s Day and baby showers suddenly became torture. Then a dear friend of mine, married only a couple of weeks, became pregnant while on birth control. It was almost too much to bear. It seems like everyone we know is having babies and we are being left behind. Luckily, God has blessed me in many ways over the months. My best friend is also going through infertility and she has been an incredible comfort to me, as well as joining a local support group of women facing this struggle. God continues to shower us with people to support us and has helped us find money along the way as we go through so many doctor visits. So now we sit on the edge of major debt (I am a teacher and my husband is in management at a financial company in Dallas), still wondering if God will bless us in this way or not. My spiritual journey has intensified over the weeks and I feel like our marriage is stronger because of what we have been through so far. Joe and I are a bi-racial couple so we have often joked about adopting kids of other nationalities so none of us look like we belong together. In reality now, we face possibly not being biological parents, but adoptive instead. While that is not what we want, and not what we had planned, God may have a little one waiting to be loved by us that we haven’t met yet. We will accept whatever the Lord’s answer is, but we are so anxious to find out if it’s yes or no. If it’s pregnancy or adoption. We’re ready to be on the other side of the struggle, saying God DID bless us, and it was worth the wait.
6 comments:
I hope you guys get drawn! That would be such a blessing.
I heard about that free IVF!!! Your letter sounds like something I could have written myself... I know those feelings. I am praying that God's will would be made known and that the grieving brings sunshine very soon!!!
Rachel,
I have been following your "journey" the past few months on your blog. What a neat thing this church is doing! Your letter is wonderful and I am really praying that you and Joe are drawn as the "winners!" I know God has incredible things in store for you two :)
I've been thinking about you guys a lot lately, Rachel, and I love what this church is doing! You're always in my prayers. Love you!
I am seriously bummed because I went to Walmart in the hopes of finding a super cute $3 dress, but no luck. :(
We're praying for you guys! It was touching to read your letter, it sounds like your heart is really in the right place with this, and God will take care of you. Lots of love from the Crains in Houston!
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