Zeke
Monday, August 11, 2008
3 posts in one day?
Yeah. I know. Doesn't Rachel have anything better to do? NOPE! My new camera just got here and I am playing with it. SO excited that I can show you what I've been working on now! Here are a few snaps of my furniture so far....
update
Dr's office called. My E2s are over 3700 so they want me back tomorrow and have halved my Menopur dose tonight and nixed the Follistim. Guess that means I may be ready sooner than Friday! Pray that they give me the go ahead tomorrow!
day 45 (day20)
Doctor appt at 7:30am again! This morning they told me several good things.
1. My blood circulation is "excellent" it my uterus. Apparently about half of women doing IVF don't have blood flow register on their sono. Mine was bright blue and red all over and the nurse said that was "excellent and very important for implanting."
2. My uteran lining is very thick. The nurse said they look for a thickness around 8 and mine was almost 11. She said that is really good because the thickness is what makes the eggs attach. The thicker, the stickier and more likely to grab onto that egg.
3. My follicles are growing steadily. On Saturday I had some around 10, if you will recall. Today I had several more and most were around 13 or 14. In fact, the nurse said I have probably 15-20 on each ovary. Which means LOTS of eggs are heading my way! She said my dosage of follistim and menopur is pretty low so I don't hyperovulate and make way to many eggs. So...best guess is that egg retreival will be on Friday, August 15th and implanting on Wednesday, August 20th. So for those of you planning to come see me on bedrest, I'll be laid out on Friday the 15th and Wednesday-Saturday the 20th-23rd. Anyone who wants to come sit with me and Mom and watch movies, feel free to stop by!
I will let you guys know when I have a confirmed date so you can pray for us at the moment we are undergoing procedures. There is a possibility it'll be bumped one more day, but hopefully we will be a go for Friday! Keep praying!
1. My blood circulation is "excellent" it my uterus. Apparently about half of women doing IVF don't have blood flow register on their sono. Mine was bright blue and red all over and the nurse said that was "excellent and very important for implanting."
2. My uteran lining is very thick. The nurse said they look for a thickness around 8 and mine was almost 11. She said that is really good because the thickness is what makes the eggs attach. The thicker, the stickier and more likely to grab onto that egg.
3. My follicles are growing steadily. On Saturday I had some around 10, if you will recall. Today I had several more and most were around 13 or 14. In fact, the nurse said I have probably 15-20 on each ovary. Which means LOTS of eggs are heading my way! She said my dosage of follistim and menopur is pretty low so I don't hyperovulate and make way to many eggs. So...best guess is that egg retreival will be on Friday, August 15th and implanting on Wednesday, August 20th. So for those of you planning to come see me on bedrest, I'll be laid out on Friday the 15th and Wednesday-Saturday the 20th-23rd. Anyone who wants to come sit with me and Mom and watch movies, feel free to stop by!
I will let you guys know when I have a confirmed date so you can pray for us at the moment we are undergoing procedures. There is a possibility it'll be bumped one more day, but hopefully we will be a go for Friday! Keep praying!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
day 43 (day18)
Just a quick update...
Went to the doctor again today. On Thursday the E2 level was at 437 and I had no follicles that were big enough to measure yet. BUT...they said my E2 level was "very exciting" and looked promising. So much so that they backed off my dosage a little bit of follitism. (hooray!!!) Today I had several follicles big enough to measure, although the nurse thought none were even at 10 yet. But she was wrong! :) I had 3 that were over 10 already, one that was just shy of 10 and then another in 7 somewhere. Now, we gotta get to 18 before egg retrieval, so she said it may be past Monday before we are ready to trigger. She said her guess is I'll need another day or two. THEN...I heard back about my E2 levels and it is at 1476!!!! That's more than 3 times what it was two days ago! That gives me hope that I may be ready for a trigger shot on Monday after all! So pray hard for us that my follicles are building up hard these next 2 days and that Monday we will be ready to roll! If that is the case, Joe will have his procedure on Tuesday and I will have egg retrieval Wednesday. If I need another day or two...so be it. But we should have some little Varney embryos by Friday. Exciting!
Went to the doctor again today. On Thursday the E2 level was at 437 and I had no follicles that were big enough to measure yet. BUT...they said my E2 level was "very exciting" and looked promising. So much so that they backed off my dosage a little bit of follitism. (hooray!!!) Today I had several follicles big enough to measure, although the nurse thought none were even at 10 yet. But she was wrong! :) I had 3 that were over 10 already, one that was just shy of 10 and then another in 7 somewhere. Now, we gotta get to 18 before egg retrieval, so she said it may be past Monday before we are ready to trigger. She said her guess is I'll need another day or two. THEN...I heard back about my E2 levels and it is at 1476!!!! That's more than 3 times what it was two days ago! That gives me hope that I may be ready for a trigger shot on Monday after all! So pray hard for us that my follicles are building up hard these next 2 days and that Monday we will be ready to roll! If that is the case, Joe will have his procedure on Tuesday and I will have egg retrieval Wednesday. If I need another day or two...so be it. But we should have some little Varney embryos by Friday. Exciting!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Smile Award
The Smile Award
Ashley gave me this smile award today and I want to thank her for it here. Ashley and I don't know eachother well...or really at all, except by word of mouth. I've spoken to her only a handful of times and only a few words on those rare times. Ashley grew up with Joe and we have many mutual friends as well as a mutual affliction...inability to concieve naturally. She is already enjoying the fruits of her labor...2 cutie pie little boys. I am hoping to join her in multiples motherhood soon. So thanks Ash, for the shout out for smiling!
Ashley gave me this smile award today and I want to thank her for it here. Ashley and I don't know eachother well...or really at all, except by word of mouth. I've spoken to her only a handful of times and only a few words on those rare times. Ashley grew up with Joe and we have many mutual friends as well as a mutual affliction...inability to concieve naturally. She is already enjoying the fruits of her labor...2 cutie pie little boys. I am hoping to join her in multiples motherhood soon. So thanks Ash, for the shout out for smiling!
My duty now is to grant this award to 5 blogger friends...
These are the rules:
1. The recipient must link back to the awards creator the babblings of mere
2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.
3. You must chose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself
4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award, as posted by Mere.
5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.
6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.
7. You must thank your giver.
Characteristics for the Smile Award:
1. Must display a cheerful attitude. (not necessarily at all times--we are all human)
2. Must love one another
3. Must make mistakes
4. Must learn from others
5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world
6. Must love life
7. Must love kids
And here are my 5!!!
1. Taylor (http://tstapes.blogspot.com): Taylor is the most inspiring person I have come across in infertility. She has had such a struggle to concieve and then lost her sweet boy earlier this summer to Trisomy13. She is so godly and has the sweetest, kindest heart. She has smiled through the tears for months now and has caused many of us to smile through our tears for her as well. Carry on, Taylor! Your day is coming!
2. Tanya (http://thewilsons06.blogspot.com): Tanya said something about me smiling in her first post. It made me laugh immediately! Tanya has been my backup BFF for over a year now and she has really come through this summer. Although she was gone for 6 weeks to Japan, she has been here for me so much since she came back. Her artistic ability is reason enough to smile, but her perserverance through some VERY hard family stuff and her willingness to come when I call is what makes her deserve a smile award. Smile on, Nikitenko!
3. Becky (http://forever25-becky.blogspot.com): Becky and I were instant friends several years ago. We backpacked Europe together for a month and made memories that will last my whole life. Since then, we've both bought homes, taught hundreds of children, and found our sweet husbands. Becky is also trying to have a baby right now and is smiling about so much...great husband and home, so many wonderful travels and experiences behind and ahead of her. I love hearing what she has going on!
4. Summer (http://best-family.blogspot.com): Summer and I were friends in college and she is the mother of 4 boys. Yeah...4!!! She had her first when we were seniors. Summer is one of those amazing people who can do anything and everything. She is an amazing teacher, has the sweetest voice and spirit and LOVES those kiddos. The few times I've been able to see her since graduation..she is always smiling and happy and I know she is thankful everyday for what God has given her.
5. Carrie (http://thetungates.blogspot.com): Carrie is my best friend from high school. She also went through infertility and now has 3 little angels now. She is one of those friends that I will always have in my life. It doesn't matter how long we've been apart, we always reconnect and I always want to see her when I'm home. Right now she is a stay at home mom and sacrifices so much to take care of her kiddos. I know she's tired and busy, especially with little Branson, but she is so thankful for those kids. Keep smiling, Steve!
Day 41( Day 16)
Well...it's confirmed. I have STREP THROAT! Again!?!?!?! As some of you will recall, I caught strep at the end of school last semester and was really sick when I went to visit Jeremy, Brent and Jamie. Luckily, I caught this one really early and had an IVF appointment this morning anyways. I asked if it was going to really screw everything up if I had Strep. She said it's no big deal and won't interfere with my shots at all. Just have to tell the clinic doc that I am trying to get pregnant and make sure my prescription is okay for pregnancy. So I went to CVS Minute Clinic (thanks for the suggestion, Summer!) and got my throat culture and medicine for $55! Not bad at all! In fact, probably my cheapest bout with Strep to date! I don't feel bad yet, so hopefully I will nip this in the bud before egg retreival. Speaking of...my follicles are growing and my blood circulation is really good in my uterus. (yay me?) The follicles aren't big enough to measure yet and she said not to be upset if I'm not ready Monday for my trigger shot yet. It's normal to be on the 3 shot rounds for 10-12 days, most people do 11 or 12. I'm hoping for 10 so I'll be done AND I don't have to order more expensive medicines. So...that's all I got right now. Oh! Yesterday I had 3 super helpers come and get my classroom set up! Thanks to Tracy Spear, Tanya and Momma T for helping me check one more thing off the list before school starts. I'm so glad to not have that to worry about!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
day 39 (day 14)
Things are falling into place now. I've told several of you in recent days how good and positive I feel about the process now. When I look back at the past few months, there have been SO many times that things were wrong. The power went out at the clinic on our appointment day, went to get my HSG and they told me I couldn't, delays...delays...delays, where do we find all this money, "you have only a 30% chance with invitro." It goes on and on. In fact, at one point I told Amy I wasn't sure we were supposed to do this. I felt like God was telling us NO NO NO NO NO over and over and we were just pushing through.
But now I feel completely different. Is it the time I chose? No. But as I've been told time and again, it's God's timing, not Rachel's. In the past weeks since I started my medicine, things have lined up so perfectly. Every bit of money has found it's way to us. In May we found out our mortgage payments were dropping by a few hundred dollars a month, which has allowed us to pay on our loan with no change to our monthly budget. (Couldn't see that coming if we had started in April, as we originally were.) We get bills from urology and specialists here and there that are always upwards of $1000. EVERY TIME we have recieved the same amount of money back from somewhere else...a bonus at work, a reimbursment for overpaying property taxes 2 years ago, etc. It's happened at least 4 times since January, including one last week. You can't tell me that's not God! The timeline is not what I wanted, but actually couldn't be more perfect. I'm not going to have to miss any of the start of school (just inservice), and my due date will be late enough to take the last 6 weeks of school off (even if I have multiples and am due a little earlier). Add that in with having a Christian doctor working with us, and the ease of my injections, and literally no problems in my 2 weeks of shots...I just can't believe it's all coincidence! How can things have changed so drastically from everything wrong and "are you telling us No?" to everything is right and "how did you do all this so perfectly?"
Is there a chance we will not be pregnant in 3 weeks? Yes. But I don't believe that will be the case. While I am trying to keep in my mind that it IS a possibility, I am fully anticipating the big news that there is a life growing inside me that's a little bit Joe and a little bit Rachel. So for right now, life is great!
But now I feel completely different. Is it the time I chose? No. But as I've been told time and again, it's God's timing, not Rachel's. In the past weeks since I started my medicine, things have lined up so perfectly. Every bit of money has found it's way to us. In May we found out our mortgage payments were dropping by a few hundred dollars a month, which has allowed us to pay on our loan with no change to our monthly budget. (Couldn't see that coming if we had started in April, as we originally were.) We get bills from urology and specialists here and there that are always upwards of $1000. EVERY TIME we have recieved the same amount of money back from somewhere else...a bonus at work, a reimbursment for overpaying property taxes 2 years ago, etc. It's happened at least 4 times since January, including one last week. You can't tell me that's not God! The timeline is not what I wanted, but actually couldn't be more perfect. I'm not going to have to miss any of the start of school (just inservice), and my due date will be late enough to take the last 6 weeks of school off (even if I have multiples and am due a little earlier). Add that in with having a Christian doctor working with us, and the ease of my injections, and literally no problems in my 2 weeks of shots...I just can't believe it's all coincidence! How can things have changed so drastically from everything wrong and "are you telling us No?" to everything is right and "how did you do all this so perfectly?"
Is there a chance we will not be pregnant in 3 weeks? Yes. But I don't believe that will be the case. While I am trying to keep in my mind that it IS a possibility, I am fully anticipating the big news that there is a life growing inside me that's a little bit Joe and a little bit Rachel. So for right now, life is great!
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Day36 (Day11)
Everything yesterday was good with my Estradiol Level Blood Test. (I scored 36.7!!! Anyone know what that means? Me either...) Apparently it's good. So I started my new shots today and they were actually much easier than I anticipated. My Menopur was VERY slow going in, but nothing hurt, and it didn't take me as long as I thought it might. Got all three mixed or put together and injected in 7 minutes. Not bad for my first time!
In other news...I love my husband. I really haven't said a lot about my boy in this process. At least not for a while, but he is the greatest man and has been my rock in all this. Every night he kisses where I inject my medicine and every night he prays for our future and the baby he KNOWS is coming. Today we were working at the Wilson's all day and every small glance I shared with Joe just lit up my heart. If it's possible, I love him more now than I ever have. I love how he winks at me across crowded rooms. I love how he's more than willing to give silly grins and waves to me despite being in a room full of his buddies. And I love how he always is ready to give me a kiss, a hug and tell me he loves me. I love how he loves me. When we were driving home tonight, I looked over at him and thought...no matter what happens at the end of this month, everything will be okay, because I have this wonderful man to share my life with. There's no one else I can imagine going through all the ups and downs with. I would marry him again in a heartbeat. Thank you God, for giving me someone so wonderful to share my life with!
Friday, August 01, 2008
Day 35 (Day10)
I had my second appointment this morning at 7:30am. WHEW! That's early after two months of sleeping late! They took some blood and did another internal sonogram. The nurse said everything looks normal and my ovaries are sufficiently suppressed. Then I learned how to do my next two shots. These are a bit more complicated than my Lupron. With Lupron I just fill up my vile and stick it in. 
Menopur, I have to mix up the medicine and put together my syringe.
It's a few more steps than what I've been doing, but nothing I can't handle, right?
So...I am 10 days down and 10 to go. I can't believe I'm already halfway through my injections! The doc's office will call today to let me know if I can indeed go forward tomorrow with my new shots. (They have to make sure my hormones are all good from the blood they took). If so, I will have 3 shots tomorrow, and only 2 on Sunday and Monday. Got lots to keep track of!
Menopur, I have to mix up the medicine and put together my syringe.
It's a few more steps than what I've been doing, but nothing I can't handle, right?
So...I am 10 days down and 10 to go. I can't believe I'm already halfway through my injections! The doc's office will call today to let me know if I can indeed go forward tomorrow with my new shots. (They have to make sure my hormones are all good from the blood they took). If so, I will have 3 shots tomorrow, and only 2 on Sunday and Monday. Got lots to keep track of!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Day32(Day7)
A whole week down of shots. Wow. Time flies, eh? Hopefully, my eggs will be taken out 2 weeks from tomorrow and my babies will be created! Exciting stuff!
Tonight I went to my support group, which I'm sad to say I have not gone to the last few weeks. Tonight was very special for me. You never know when something will be said to soften your heart and that was what happened to me tonight. Carol (one of the facilitators) was talking about Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary and FOX news anchor, who died recently of cancer. He was a faithful Catholic and we read some words he had recently spoken about his illness and, as in many other circumstances, it spoke to us as infertile women too. Here was the section I was given to read in group:
"When our faith flags, God throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things and those of us who have been on the recieving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know. Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up- to speak to Him of us!"
That puts into words exactly how I feel about all of you who have spent hours praying for us already, and continue to daily. I have a friend who sends me texts and emails when she thinks of me and stops to pray for us. It always comes right when I need it too. God is amazing in how he works. But 2 other things grabbed me tonight during group. One thing I have thought on since I left and even spoke with Joe about. Carol has said before that she believes we didn't get pregnant in earlier years because we were needed by a child in our class. (all 3 of us in the group are in education fields). I've heard her say this before, but for some reason, something clicked tonight. For the past couple of years, Amy and I have been pulling a lot of weight in children's ministry at church. If at any time I'd gotten pregnant, I'd have stopped what I was involved in, maybe even have left our congregation. But now that we have a children's minister, it's like a weight has been lifted and everything is lining up to get our family. Maybe my pregnancy timing wasn't about my school children, but the children at my church who I was serving. That makes me smile. AND it makes me optimistic that God is laying out this plan and timeline for me.
The final thing that blessed me tonight was a prayer said over me by another woman in our group. She laid hands on me and prayed a prayer so sweet it actually brought tears to my eyes. She prayed for the eggs I am growing right now and that they are perfect, right down to the DNA. She prayed for Joe's sperm and that they are strong, healthy and high in number. And that they too are perfect right down to the DNA. She prayed for my uterus and that it is being prepared to be a safe place for my babies to grow. She asked God to go before us in every step, to have things prepared and perfect in advance. And she prayed that a verse in Psalms will be fulfilled for me. That I will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within our home. And that my children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around our table.
Her heart was so earnest and sincere. And as a woman who barely knows me cried over a prayer she was offering for my chance at pregnancy, I felt that moment Tony Snow spoke of. Where the hairs stick up on your neck because someone, other than you, wants something so deeply for you, that they are begging the Creator to create something for your life. It's making me teary right now just typing this. We serve a great God and as this chapter unfolds, it's scary and filled with anxiety, but it's exciting too. Exciting that the Author of my book is writing this chapter as I walk through it.
Tonight I went to my support group, which I'm sad to say I have not gone to the last few weeks. Tonight was very special for me. You never know when something will be said to soften your heart and that was what happened to me tonight. Carol (one of the facilitators) was talking about Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary and FOX news anchor, who died recently of cancer. He was a faithful Catholic and we read some words he had recently spoken about his illness and, as in many other circumstances, it spoke to us as infertile women too. Here was the section I was given to read in group:
"When our faith flags, God throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things and those of us who have been on the recieving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know. Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up- to speak to Him of us!"
That puts into words exactly how I feel about all of you who have spent hours praying for us already, and continue to daily. I have a friend who sends me texts and emails when she thinks of me and stops to pray for us. It always comes right when I need it too. God is amazing in how he works. But 2 other things grabbed me tonight during group. One thing I have thought on since I left and even spoke with Joe about. Carol has said before that she believes we didn't get pregnant in earlier years because we were needed by a child in our class. (all 3 of us in the group are in education fields). I've heard her say this before, but for some reason, something clicked tonight. For the past couple of years, Amy and I have been pulling a lot of weight in children's ministry at church. If at any time I'd gotten pregnant, I'd have stopped what I was involved in, maybe even have left our congregation. But now that we have a children's minister, it's like a weight has been lifted and everything is lining up to get our family. Maybe my pregnancy timing wasn't about my school children, but the children at my church who I was serving. That makes me smile. AND it makes me optimistic that God is laying out this plan and timeline for me.
The final thing that blessed me tonight was a prayer said over me by another woman in our group. She laid hands on me and prayed a prayer so sweet it actually brought tears to my eyes. She prayed for the eggs I am growing right now and that they are perfect, right down to the DNA. She prayed for Joe's sperm and that they are strong, healthy and high in number. And that they too are perfect right down to the DNA. She prayed for my uterus and that it is being prepared to be a safe place for my babies to grow. She asked God to go before us in every step, to have things prepared and perfect in advance. And she prayed that a verse in Psalms will be fulfilled for me. That I will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within our home. And that my children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around our table.
Her heart was so earnest and sincere. And as a woman who barely knows me cried over a prayer she was offering for my chance at pregnancy, I felt that moment Tony Snow spoke of. Where the hairs stick up on your neck because someone, other than you, wants something so deeply for you, that they are begging the Creator to create something for your life. It's making me teary right now just typing this. We serve a great God and as this chapter unfolds, it's scary and filled with anxiety, but it's exciting too. Exciting that the Author of my book is writing this chapter as I walk through it.
Monday, July 28, 2008
day31 (Day6)
Mom and Dad left this morning to head to Southlake to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary! Wow! Long time, right? 
A rocking chair that is very solid will go great with the children's furniture I'm doing!
A kids' set of table and chairs. Found these a ThriftTown in Arlington for $19! Not bad!
I found 2 of these. They are swivel stools and were only 5 bucks! They will make great teacher stools.
This is my FAVORITE PIECE! This cottage style dresser is so adorable and well built. I love it! You can see I am trying something there on the drawers? I am going to finish each drawer with an animal print. My future nursery is going to have a jungle theme and I am painting this to go in that room. I may try to sell it, I may keep it for me, or I may leave it to chance. At any rate, it is going to be awesome!
An endtable I also found at ThriftTown. It's in great shape and even has a drawer! Still trying to think what I want to do with this one... 
I got 2 of these also. I am finishing them to match a pair of lamps I'm working on. They will be dark brown, icy blue and leopard print. (the lamps are just blue and brown striped). Here's where I am on the table right now.
Last, but not least, Is the console table. It was custom painted at some point by someone, but has seen better days. Again, only 5 bucks, so now I just have to wait for inspiration to strike! Any ideas?!?!?
Now, my friend Tanya was in the neighborhood and stopped by to see my finds from Saturday that she had yet to see. Tanya and I spent several hours Friday and Saturday looking for gems at garage sales that we can refinish/paint/mosaic for a craft sale in November. She and I have been toying with the idea for a year or so, but are just now biting the bullet and giving it a try. Now those of you that know Tanya may or may not realize what a good artist she is. She is an amazing painter and has a real love of mosaics as well. I'll admit that she is a much better artist than I am. That's why I am merely a teacher and not really a practicing artist. :) However, I DO have some craft sense and a bit more artistic ability than the average person. That combo does allow me to do some things well. For the past few years I have really enjoyed painting furniture. It began as my dining set in my college apartment (a wood table with 4 mismatched chairs all painted with black and white checks and primary colors.) That led to painting reading chairs for teachers and now I am moving on to dressers, end tables, lamps and (yes) more chairs. Here's what I found this weekend. OH! I paid a grand total of $120! Wahoo!!
a coffee table that we flipped the top upside down on. it has an indented center that is PERFECT for tiling or broken tile mosaics!
a coffee table that we flipped the top upside down on. it has an indented center that is PERFECT for tiling or broken tile mosaics!A rocking chair that is very solid will go great with the children's furniture I'm doing!A kids' set of table and chairs. Found these a ThriftTown in Arlington for $19! Not bad!I found 2 of these. They are swivel stools and were only 5 bucks! They will make great teacher stools. An endtable I also found at ThriftTown. It's in great shape and even has a drawer! Still trying to think what I want to do with this one... I got 2 of these also. I am finishing them to match a pair of lamps I'm working on. They will be dark brown, icy blue and leopard print. (the lamps are just blue and brown striped). Here's where I am on the table right now. Last, but not least, Is the console table. It was custom painted at some point by someone, but has seen better days. Again, only 5 bucks, so now I just have to wait for inspiration to strike! Any ideas?!?!?Sunday, July 27, 2008
Day 30(Day 5)
Sorry for the delay in posts. My mom has been here and she has kept me super busy! Normally I sleep til 8 or 9, get up and leizurely eat breakfast, shower, get dressed, make the bed, etc. Maybe by noon I'm ready to do something. MAYBE...Well, this week I have been pedal to the metal! Wednesday night Mom arrived to babysit me for the weekend while Joe is gone. It's the Mayes (my mother in law's) Family reunion in Corpus and with me starting meds, I needed to stay behind. Since we didn't know if I'd have a bad reaction or not, Mom said she'd come stay with me so Joe could go to the reunion. Aww!
So since Thursday morning we have spent a day in Granbury, garage saled for 2 full mornings with Tanya, seen Mamma Mia, had lunch with Melanie, shopped in the Highlands and couple thrift shops, chopped 6 heads of lettuce, 9 tomatoes and 3 onions for church today, taught a 4th grade class, and watched 2 netflix films. Whew! I've crashed hard when we finally slow down!
I will take pics of my wonderful garage sale finds and tell you all about my plans for those tomorrow. But I DO have 2 other little things to comment on in the news the past 2 days.
1. I read about an inter-racial couple who had twins in Germany last week. The mother is black and the father is white. But get this....the twins are BIRACIAL! One is very light skinned...almost white. The other is very dark black. Isn't that wierd!?!? Apparently it has occurred 4 times in recent years and doctors say it is possible in the genetic soup created when you concieve to have kids with different skin tints. Crazy, huh? Check out the link here!http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/25/biracial-twins-born-to-in_n_115037.html
2. I know how much you must all care about Brangelina and the twins. (About as much as I do, I hope). However, interesting news has broken about their new kiddos. THEY ARE INVITRO BABIES! Now, I firmly believe all these celebs having twins recently either did invitro or did some other sort of fertility treatment, as twins are not that common and these folks are a little old to be starting families. (J Lo, Julia Roberts, etc.) But here's the infuriating part. Speculation is that Brad told Angelina he wanted biological kids before they adopt any more and after a few months and no pregnancy, Angelina became worried Brad would leave her and opted to do invitro to "knock it out." How upsetting is that? Oh, I'm famous and rich and can get pregnant super fast. If I just fork out the money, then I don't have to wait. AND it'll help me hang on to this hot other celeb who I probably will never marry and not stay with much longer anyways. Ick.
So since Thursday morning we have spent a day in Granbury, garage saled for 2 full mornings with Tanya, seen Mamma Mia, had lunch with Melanie, shopped in the Highlands and couple thrift shops, chopped 6 heads of lettuce, 9 tomatoes and 3 onions for church today, taught a 4th grade class, and watched 2 netflix films. Whew! I've crashed hard when we finally slow down!
I will take pics of my wonderful garage sale finds and tell you all about my plans for those tomorrow. But I DO have 2 other little things to comment on in the news the past 2 days.
1. I read about an inter-racial couple who had twins in Germany last week. The mother is black and the father is white. But get this....the twins are BIRACIAL! One is very light skinned...almost white. The other is very dark black. Isn't that wierd!?!? Apparently it has occurred 4 times in recent years and doctors say it is possible in the genetic soup created when you concieve to have kids with different skin tints. Crazy, huh? Check out the link here!http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/25/biracial-twins-born-to-in_n_115037.html
2. I know how much you must all care about Brangelina and the twins. (About as much as I do, I hope). However, interesting news has broken about their new kiddos. THEY ARE INVITRO BABIES! Now, I firmly believe all these celebs having twins recently either did invitro or did some other sort of fertility treatment, as twins are not that common and these folks are a little old to be starting families. (J Lo, Julia Roberts, etc.) But here's the infuriating part. Speculation is that Brad told Angelina he wanted biological kids before they adopt any more and after a few months and no pregnancy, Angelina became worried Brad would leave her and opted to do invitro to "knock it out." How upsetting is that? Oh, I'm famous and rich and can get pregnant super fast. If I just fork out the money, then I don't have to wait. AND it'll help me hang on to this hot other celeb who I probably will never marry and not stay with much longer anyways. Ick.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Day 27 (Day2)
So last night I had my first shot. I have to give them to myself either in the stomach, the thigh or the back of my arm. Since I can't bend that way, I have to option the thigh or the abs. Meredith said the abs hurts less since you have more skin to pinch there. So 10:30 is my injection time each night for the next 3 weeks. I went in the bathroom and got all my gear. Joe came in. I begged him to leave. He really wanted to stay in there with me. He said, "Do you think I'm never going to watch you do this?" I told him no, but that I needed to psych myself up for this first one and wanted to do it alone. "I'm your husband! You should let me be here for you!" "You're my hsuband! You should leave since I'm asking you to!" He left. I cleaned my stomach off with an alcohol swab. I cleaned the top of the vial. I measured out 20cc of Lupron into the syringe. I pinched my skin and said to myself, JUST DO IT....JUST DO IT. I stuck in in fast, pushed in the medicine and pulled it out. Honestly, I didn't even feel the needle go in. I felt it more after it was over. It was a little itchy and the little whelp was sore for 30 minutes or so. Joe kissed it and all was well with the world. I can do this. No prob! Came back in the kitchen where Mom, Tanya and Jake were all very impressed I did it so fast. Hooray! One shot down....
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Day 26...or Day one...depends on how you look at it
Today we went to see the IVF coordinator. She has a name and a face at last!!! Her name is Meredith and I liked her immediately.
Backup....I called this morning to confirm our appt. for 1:00. The nurse who answered did NOT sound happy to be there. Here was our conversation:
Me: I need to confirm the time for my appt today.
Her: Name?
Me: Rachel Varney V-A-R-N-E-Y
Her:............what was your appt for?
Me:My Phase II appt for IVF
Her:........................................
Me: I think it's for one oclock
Her:...........................yep
Me: Okay. Another question. I am assuming I will learn how to do my injections today? Do I need to bring my medications?
Her: Yeah
CLICK
Okay. So I have no idea what medicine to bring (I have about 15 different types, 3 of which are refirgerated). Not wanting to do the whole call over, I just pack it all up. So I have a huge tote bag FULL of medicine when Joe comes to get me.
We met with the lab tech guy first (at 12:30, even tho our appt. wasn't until 1.). He told us exactly what to expect with each appointment and what they will do on egg retrieval week. He told Joe that they will do his sperm aspirition the day before my egg retreival and then let the sperm develop a little overnite. He said testicular sperm are non-motile, so giving them a day will make some of them "perk up." He also said if they don't, there are things they can do to get them movin'. He also strongly suggested we freeze the remaining embryos after our cycle so we can do it again without all the prep work we are doing now. Basically, I would just have to do a little medication to prepare my uterus and then they'd put a frozen baby in me. :)
Then we waited on Meredith to come back from lunch. We were with her before 1 also and she gave me my calendar and answered lots of my questions. Tonite I start my Lupron injections.
YIPES! I am a little nervous about it, but I was able to practice on a little squishy ball thing on how to inject, release the meds, take the syringe back out, etc. I also had a vaginal sonogram to check out my insides. All looked good. Ovaries are looking like they are supposed to once they are suppressed and my uterus is ready for my babies! So now all we do is injections for the next 10 days. On tuesday I stop taking my birth control. Next Friday I go back to add 2, yes TWO more shots to my daily regiment. Then I go back every other day until egg retreival. Here's what my calendar looks like. Wow. I'm going to be heavily medicated!
YIPES! I am a little nervous about it, but I was able to practice on a little squishy ball thing on how to inject, release the meds, take the syringe back out, etc. I also had a vaginal sonogram to check out my insides. All looked good. Ovaries are looking like they are supposed to once they are suppressed and my uterus is ready for my babies! So now all we do is injections for the next 10 days. On tuesday I stop taking my birth control. Next Friday I go back to add 2, yes TWO more shots to my daily regiment. Then I go back every other day until egg retreival. Here's what my calendar looks like. Wow. I'm going to be heavily medicated!Start praying hard EVERY SINGLE DAY for us. Hopefully there will be Varney embryos in 21 days! Which will be my day of conception! Hooray!!! Pray for good, healthy sperm!
***SIDE NOTE***
While we were waiting on Meredith, we saw an ad in the trash can for a plant place in Euless that was having a huge sale. We went and bought crepe myrtles for $9.88 each! Awesome!!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Countdown to the needle
So we are at day 25 now. That's right, I should be getting my monthly visitor on Saturday, but it won't be coming! In theory, I have stopped ovulating by now and am in a holding pattern on my medication. Tomorrow is the big day. Well....the first of many big days. Tomorrow we meet with Dr. Nackley and I will have a sonogram, some bloodwork (I assume) and will learn how to give myself shots of Lupron for the next few days. I will also be getting my IVF calendar, which tells me what days to take what medicine and which days I will be living at the doc's office. I'm not entirely sure what to expect from here, other than a baby down the line. :) I'll let you know how things go when I get home tomorrow!
And PS. I've now seen Mamma Mia twice and it is so cute! It's silly and corny, but isn't that what a great musical contains? And Batman??? Easily the best movie so far this year. It's intense and dark and Heath Ledger is all they said he would be. It's a must see!
And PS. I've now seen Mamma Mia twice and it is so cute! It's silly and corny, but isn't that what a great musical contains? And Batman??? Easily the best movie so far this year. It's intense and dark and Heath Ledger is all they said he would be. It's a must see!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Day 21
So we are three weeks down and I am finally getting my tummy used to being on birth control again. It is still weird to think that I have to go on the pill to get pregnant. Medical science sure is kooky! 
I am meeting Mel in a couple of hours to see Mamma Mia. Now I know that many of you will find that cheesy and stupid, but I am a sucker for a musical in any medium. And Mamma Mia is one that Mel and I saw when we were roomies and sang along to our soundtrack pretty much til the day I moved out. How can you not enjoy a show that has "Dancing Queen" and "Take a Chance on Me?"
Later tonight we are meeting some friends to see the new Batman movie as well. I am SO EXCITED!!! This summer has not given me many movies to put on the calendar, but this is the one I've been waiting on. Now, I'm not a big superhero fiend like the men in my life are, and really don't care about Batman at all. I mean, those early ones were awful. We caught part of Batman and Robin on TNT last night. CHEESE! But since I was dragged to Batman Begins, I have become a fan. I love the dark, brooding character of Bruce Wayne and, HELLO?!?! The girl he loves is named Rachel? Yeah, I can get on board that. I'm interested to see if it lives up to the hype with Heath Ledger. he looks insane and creepy, so I'm already intrigued. I'll give you my verdict on everything soon!
I am so excited today because I am getting to see 2 movies I thought I would miss opening day for! I was expecting to be on bedrest, or having egg retrieval this weekend, so with all the delays, I am far from and have a wide open schedule to see the 2 movies I've actually been looking forward to this summer!
I am meeting Mel in a couple of hours to see Mamma Mia. Now I know that many of you will find that cheesy and stupid, but I am a sucker for a musical in any medium. And Mamma Mia is one that Mel and I saw when we were roomies and sang along to our soundtrack pretty much til the day I moved out. How can you not enjoy a show that has "Dancing Queen" and "Take a Chance on Me?"
Later tonight we are meeting some friends to see the new Batman movie as well. I am SO EXCITED!!! This summer has not given me many movies to put on the calendar, but this is the one I've been waiting on. Now, I'm not a big superhero fiend like the men in my life are, and really don't care about Batman at all. I mean, those early ones were awful. We caught part of Batman and Robin on TNT last night. CHEESE! But since I was dragged to Batman Begins, I have become a fan. I love the dark, brooding character of Bruce Wayne and, HELLO?!?! The girl he loves is named Rachel? Yeah, I can get on board that. I'm interested to see if it lives up to the hype with Heath Ledger. he looks insane and creepy, so I'm already intrigued. I'll give you my verdict on everything soon!Thursday, July 17, 2008
A year ago in Italy
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Days 18-20 have come and gone also. Nothing new. Ordered some more medication. And a safe sharps disposal box for needles. Other than that, not much to report.
Per the request of several friends, I decided to post my pics from my trip to Italy last summer with Amy. Most of you will recall that I spent 2 weeks in Ukraine teaching English and then Amy and I spent about 6 days in Italy on our return trip. As I look back, I realize how lucky I was, not only to go on such a trip, but to go with my best friend. I know that some girls get to do trips with their girlfriends after being married, but most never get to do one like this. It was such a fantastic trip and the person I would most want to adventure with (besides my Joey), is of course, my BFF, Amy. So...without futher ado...here are some highlights from our tour of Italy.
This is Amy in Sorrento eating some gelato moments after we arrived. Look at all those Hydrangeas! Aren't they incredible?
This is where we ate breakfast at our hotel. It was right on the coast and BREATHTAKING! I can't imagine a more beautiful place!
Taking pics of the cliffs. SIGH....
A picturesque square down the street.
More of the beautiful square
Taking a walk down to the ocean.
All around Sorrento and Pompeii there were stands making fresh lemonade, orange juice, slushes, etc. Look how big the lemons are! As big as my head!
Inside Pompeii ruins
Pompeii and Mt. Vesuvius. They say the mountain is less than half the size it was before the eruption that obliterated the city.
Me and Amy in Pompeii
a preserved body in Pompeii...one of 6 in the world
A lone picture in Florence. It was a whirlwind day of shopping and arting, but wonderful none the less!
Throw a coin in Trevi Fountain and insure your trip to the eternal city!
The Pantheon
Yummy! Carbonara at my favorite place in Rome! Becky, you remember this place down by the Vatican?
The Pieta...one of the greatest sculptures ever created
The Mouth of Truth from ROMAN HOLIDAY fame!
The ruins in Rome
Picnic at the Colesium
Recreating my pic with Becky from 2004!
Colesium at dusk
Outside the Vatican. (where, incidentally, we joined the wrong tour group (still not sure how that happened), got yelled at and nearly thrown out of the museum! But all ended well with a day of art. Silly Romans...
In Saint Peter's Square
Goodbye Rome!
Per the request of several friends, I decided to post my pics from my trip to Italy last summer with Amy. Most of you will recall that I spent 2 weeks in Ukraine teaching English and then Amy and I spent about 6 days in Italy on our return trip. As I look back, I realize how lucky I was, not only to go on such a trip, but to go with my best friend. I know that some girls get to do trips with their girlfriends after being married, but most never get to do one like this. It was such a fantastic trip and the person I would most want to adventure with (besides my Joey), is of course, my BFF, Amy. So...without futher ado...here are some highlights from our tour of Italy.
This is Amy in Sorrento eating some gelato moments after we arrived. Look at all those Hydrangeas! Aren't they incredible?
This is where we ate breakfast at our hotel. It was right on the coast and BREATHTAKING! I can't imagine a more beautiful place!
Taking pics of the cliffs. SIGH....
A picturesque square down the street.More of the beautiful square
Taking a walk down to the ocean.
All around Sorrento and Pompeii there were stands making fresh lemonade, orange juice, slushes, etc. Look how big the lemons are! As big as my head!
Inside Pompeii ruins
Pompeii and Mt. Vesuvius. They say the mountain is less than half the size it was before the eruption that obliterated the city.
Me and Amy in Pompeii
a preserved body in Pompeii...one of 6 in the world
A lone picture in Florence. It was a whirlwind day of shopping and arting, but wonderful none the less!
Throw a coin in Trevi Fountain and insure your trip to the eternal city!
The Pantheon
Yummy! Carbonara at my favorite place in Rome! Becky, you remember this place down by the Vatican?
The Pieta...one of the greatest sculptures ever created
The Mouth of Truth from ROMAN HOLIDAY fame!
The ruins in Rome
Picnic at the Colesium
Recreating my pic with Becky from 2004!
Colesium at dusk
Outside the Vatican. (where, incidentally, we joined the wrong tour group (still not sure how that happened), got yelled at and nearly thrown out of the museum! But all ended well with a day of art. Silly Romans...
In Saint Peter's Square
Goodbye Rome!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Days Fifteen-Seventeen
Well, there isn't much to report day to day right now. My folks were here for the weekend, so I got to relay all my good feelings about where we are now to them in person, which they were VERY happy to hear about. I'm nearing the end of my perscription of birth control pills, so I had to refill today. Couldn't get through to my pharmacy. I called them 18 times before I got a person instead of a recording. CRAZY, huh?
This weekend we went to a wedding for a family friend. One of my best friends growing up, Leslie Chadwick Mayo, was sister of the groom and I was excited to see Leslie and her little girls in real life instead of on my monitor for the first time in a couple of years. She, of course, was beautiful as always and her oldest, Katlynn, reminds me so much of 5 year old Leslie. It's funny how that happens. :)
Besides the fact that we were at a beautiful wedding at these gorgeous fountains in Dallas, AND the fact that I was able to visit with lots of family friends from Lubbock, there was one undeniable highlight. And that was my sweetie, Joe. Now, many of you know that Joe and I met at ACU. What you may not know is that he was a well known fella in a little club called Gamma Sigma Phi. When Neil (the groom) found out I was marrying Joe a couple of years ago he said, and I quote, "THE Joe Varney?" When Mom told Neil he should invite us to the wedding he said, again I quote, "How cool would my friends think THAT was? If Joe Varney was at MY wedding?" Now apparently, Joe became somewhat of a living legend in the years after graduating. A intramural team was named "Team Joe Varney" and the pledges of later years were aware of the Varney name because of it. Well, at the wedding Joe finally was introduced to Neil, who stood up, shook Joe's hand and said, "Joe Varney...the man. the myth. the legend. Can't believe I'm finally meeting you in person!" It was hilarious! All these GSP guys were there and wanted to shake Joe's hand. One walked up to us and said, "Just wanted to pay my respects to a great GSP alum. Your composite picture was up in my house my junior and senior year." No idea who that guy was. So for one night, my hubbie was a minor celebrity and couldn't wipe that grin off his face. It was great!
This weekend we went to a wedding for a family friend. One of my best friends growing up, Leslie Chadwick Mayo, was sister of the groom and I was excited to see Leslie and her little girls in real life instead of on my monitor for the first time in a couple of years. She, of course, was beautiful as always and her oldest, Katlynn, reminds me so much of 5 year old Leslie. It's funny how that happens. :)
Besides the fact that we were at a beautiful wedding at these gorgeous fountains in Dallas, AND the fact that I was able to visit with lots of family friends from Lubbock, there was one undeniable highlight. And that was my sweetie, Joe. Now, many of you know that Joe and I met at ACU. What you may not know is that he was a well known fella in a little club called Gamma Sigma Phi. When Neil (the groom) found out I was marrying Joe a couple of years ago he said, and I quote, "THE Joe Varney?" When Mom told Neil he should invite us to the wedding he said, again I quote, "How cool would my friends think THAT was? If Joe Varney was at MY wedding?" Now apparently, Joe became somewhat of a living legend in the years after graduating. A intramural team was named "Team Joe Varney" and the pledges of later years were aware of the Varney name because of it. Well, at the wedding Joe finally was introduced to Neil, who stood up, shook Joe's hand and said, "Joe Varney...the man. the myth. the legend. Can't believe I'm finally meeting you in person!" It was hilarious! All these GSP guys were there and wanted to shake Joe's hand. One walked up to us and said, "Just wanted to pay my respects to a great GSP alum. Your composite picture was up in my house my junior and senior year." No idea who that guy was. So for one night, my hubbie was a minor celebrity and couldn't wipe that grin off his face. It was great!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Day Fourteen
2 weeks down and about 10 days to go to official start date. Whew....it's been a long wait! But in other news...
THIS IS MY 100th POST!
I can't belive I have been blogging for so long! Amy and I realized the other day that I never blogged about Itlay last summer and it being a full year ago now, I should do that! I will start looking through my travel journal and my pictures and do that in the next few days!
Thanks for reading!
THIS IS MY 100th POST!
I can't belive I have been blogging for so long! Amy and I realized the other day that I never blogged about Itlay last summer and it being a full year ago now, I should do that! I will start looking through my travel journal and my pictures and do that in the next few days!
Thanks for reading!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Day Thirteen
Okay. So now there is a gameplan. I will be on day 26 before I actually start my injections. Crazy, right? I thought it would be more like day 5 or 7. The doctor's office called me today and set my Phase II appointment for July 23rd (2 weeks from yesterday). I asked about when they would be doing the extraction EXACTLY and she said we won't know for a while. They have to wait until they see how my body reacts to my medication. If I react well (like my doctor expects me to), they will take my eggs earlier in the week (like the 11th to 12th). If my eggs aren't moving like they should, it'll be later in the week (like the 16th or 17th). I'm concerned, of course because of what that'll mean for my school schedule. I asked her, "With bedrest after getting implanted, I'm gonna be missing some work, since I am due to go back for inservice on the 18th." She told me that I don't have to be on bedrest at all! What!?!?!? She said there is no basis for bedrest scientifically. Hmmmm. I'm still going to rest for a couple days though. Per Doctor Joe and Doctor Mom's orders. So...all that to say, if they take my eggs early in the week, they will implant me 3-5 days later and it is reasonable to believe I will be at school on the first day of classes! Hooray! I may still have to miss part or all of inservice, but that's no big deal to me. So...now we wait a couple more weeks and get this show on the road!!
*****
Just got a phone call from the doc's office again. I am no longer with Dr. Kevin. I am now with Dr. Nackley, who is a female doctor. Hmmm. The nurse said Dr. Kevin will be out of town for about 3 weeks and it is all during August. So they have moved me to Dr. Nackley so we can go forward. She wanted to make sure that was okay with me before we start. I asked some questions and she assured me the Dr. Nackley is an excellent doctor and she would have no quams if it was her. So we are switching docs! Crazy times, eh?
OH! And in case you are interested....WHEN this works and I get pregnant, I will be due sometime between May 9th and May 15th 2009. Perfect!!!
*****
Just got a phone call from the doc's office again. I am no longer with Dr. Kevin. I am now with Dr. Nackley, who is a female doctor. Hmmm. The nurse said Dr. Kevin will be out of town for about 3 weeks and it is all during August. So they have moved me to Dr. Nackley so we can go forward. She wanted to make sure that was okay with me before we start. I asked some questions and she assured me the Dr. Nackley is an excellent doctor and she would have no quams if it was her. So we are switching docs! Crazy times, eh?
OH! And in case you are interested....WHEN this works and I get pregnant, I will be due sometime between May 9th and May 15th 2009. Perfect!!!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Day Twelve...the sequel
So here's the deal...
I talked to the IVF coordinator and she broke the news to me. My egg retrieval date will be between AUG 11-17th. Yeah...a month away!!! That means I don't even start my injections until next week or the following week even! This means several discouraging things for us....
#1. No Orlando for Labor Day. We won't be done yet.
#2. No inservice week for Rachel. I will either be on bedrest or being implanted AND on bedrest during that week. Not good, since that is training week.
#3. Maybe no first 2-3 days of school for Rachel. Sounds good in theory...More summer, right? No. It means days I've saved for maternity leave will be used for things I should have been able to do this summer, and I'll miss meeting my babies at school and have to leave it to someone else.
#4. I'm going to have to set up my room way before school starts since I won't be allowed to lift or move big stuff after/during extraction and implanting.
So...while it's not tragic info, it's not what we wanted. I've cried 3 times today as I have once again had any control I felt I had snatched away. I feel like God is really trying to make a point to me...YOU DON'T CALL THE SHOTS. I DO. It's a little hard to handle. And it makes me sad that my whole summer I couldn't do anything but wait, and then wait some more, and then be stuck here for doc stuff...finally. I feel like I've lost my summer completely. As Amy said, "It better work now!!" It will.
And hey, for my sanity, please don't tell me this all in God's timing. I know it is, but it doesn't make this easier to swallow right now. Just acknowledge it sucks right now to be in my shoes, but that it'll be worth it when I have a baby.
I talked to the IVF coordinator and she broke the news to me. My egg retrieval date will be between AUG 11-17th. Yeah...a month away!!! That means I don't even start my injections until next week or the following week even! This means several discouraging things for us....
#1. No Orlando for Labor Day. We won't be done yet.
#2. No inservice week for Rachel. I will either be on bedrest or being implanted AND on bedrest during that week. Not good, since that is training week.
#3. Maybe no first 2-3 days of school for Rachel. Sounds good in theory...More summer, right? No. It means days I've saved for maternity leave will be used for things I should have been able to do this summer, and I'll miss meeting my babies at school and have to leave it to someone else.
#4. I'm going to have to set up my room way before school starts since I won't be allowed to lift or move big stuff after/during extraction and implanting.
So...while it's not tragic info, it's not what we wanted. I've cried 3 times today as I have once again had any control I felt I had snatched away. I feel like God is really trying to make a point to me...YOU DON'T CALL THE SHOTS. I DO. It's a little hard to handle. And it makes me sad that my whole summer I couldn't do anything but wait, and then wait some more, and then be stuck here for doc stuff...finally. I feel like I've lost my summer completely. As Amy said, "It better work now!!" It will.
And hey, for my sanity, please don't tell me this all in God's timing. I know it is, but it doesn't make this easier to swallow right now. Just acknowledge it sucks right now to be in my shoes, but that it'll be worth it when I have a baby.
Day Twelve
Well...
we are still waiting. I hate that I when I call either doctor's office I get moved to a voicemail to speak to the person I need. I hate that no one has returned a call to me yet even tho I started calling at 8am. I hate that this is a major priority for no one but me. And I hate that there is nothing I can do to change it. Joe has been sweet and called both places as well. He found out that the paperwork WAS sent yesterday from Dr. Graves to Dr. Doody. Then he spoke to someone who can't do anything, but did know that the info was recieved at Dr. Doody's office. Now it has to go back and forth 2 more times. At this rate it'll be August before we get started! AAAARRGGHH!!! It's so frustrating! I think I'm the most angry about the fact we have paid in full to both offices and they are not moving on this. Even tho I know it's not reality, I feel like it's "we have your money...so we can do what we want." BLECK!!! I'm also thinking we need to cancel our trip to Disney World in September because of possible doctor visits, and the fact that I don't think I'm supposed to fly in my first trimester. Joe won't concede until a doctor tells us that, but I just feel like every plan we had for this has fallen apart. And it's a real possibility that this is going to still be going on into the school year. I DON"T WANT THAT!!!! It's like I wasted my whole summer just sitting around waiting. And by the way...daytime TV is beating me down. Too many commercials about getting pregnant, being pregnant or having babies. It's hard to watch.
I promise I'm not as forlorn as I sound. Just need to vent somewhere. :)
we are still waiting. I hate that I when I call either doctor's office I get moved to a voicemail to speak to the person I need. I hate that no one has returned a call to me yet even tho I started calling at 8am. I hate that this is a major priority for no one but me. And I hate that there is nothing I can do to change it. Joe has been sweet and called both places as well. He found out that the paperwork WAS sent yesterday from Dr. Graves to Dr. Doody. Then he spoke to someone who can't do anything, but did know that the info was recieved at Dr. Doody's office. Now it has to go back and forth 2 more times. At this rate it'll be August before we get started! AAAARRGGHH!!! It's so frustrating! I think I'm the most angry about the fact we have paid in full to both offices and they are not moving on this. Even tho I know it's not reality, I feel like it's "we have your money...so we can do what we want." BLECK!!! I'm also thinking we need to cancel our trip to Disney World in September because of possible doctor visits, and the fact that I don't think I'm supposed to fly in my first trimester. Joe won't concede until a doctor tells us that, but I just feel like every plan we had for this has fallen apart. And it's a real possibility that this is going to still be going on into the school year. I DON"T WANT THAT!!!! It's like I wasted my whole summer just sitting around waiting. And by the way...daytime TV is beating me down. Too many commercials about getting pregnant, being pregnant or having babies. It's hard to watch.
I promise I'm not as forlorn as I sound. Just need to vent somewhere. :)
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Day eleven part II
Small update:
Just heard back from the IVF coordinator. The hold up is that they still haven't gotten the referral from Dr. Graves!!! What?!?!?! He assured us they would send it LAST WEDNESDAY! They have an extremely busy office, but still...this is ridiculous! I'm ready to get movin! So looks like it'll be another week before we can start. Bummer....
Just heard back from the IVF coordinator. The hold up is that they still haven't gotten the referral from Dr. Graves!!! What?!?!?! He assured us they would send it LAST WEDNESDAY! They have an extremely busy office, but still...this is ridiculous! I'm ready to get movin! So looks like it'll be another week before we can start. Bummer....
day Eleven
So...still waiting. I'm starting to wonder if they have forgotten about us. I emailed the IVF coordinator (you remember her right, the no name girl?). I emailed yesterday to touch base and check if we were on the radar yet. No reply. Still. I'm going to call up there tomorrow....under the pretense of filling my prenatal vitamin perscription, but really so I can find out what the hold up is. 
I'm feeling very positive today still, despite all the waiting. I have found it so much easier to talk about when people ask me questions since last week's doctor visit. I've really appreciated those of you who email me and tell me you are praying for us. I've fooled myself into believing that no one is thinking about this but me. Probably because I have nothing to preoccupy myself with right now, but baby thinking. But I know that when someone faces something terrible in their life, it's so easy to forget that they are suffering because we are obviously more involved in our own day to day pains and happinesses. So for those of you who DO remember me, especially those of you who don't see me on a regular basis, but still remember to pray for me, worry with me, and wish a baby into my belly, I thank you so much.
On a lighter note, my best friend from high school, Carrie (or sister Mary Carolyn as she's known to us ;) sent me some pics of her kids that I HAVE to share. I saw them a few weeks ago when I went to Lubbock and these were taken then. They remind me that all things are possible. Carrie suffered with infertility as well, was given a 45% chance of ever concieving and she just had # 3. Here are my cuties....
Day Ten
We are still waiting to hear back from my doctor. It's starting to get tedious! Pray that we will hear something back today so we can get moving! I am anxious to get this ball rolling! In other news...God is faithful to one of my fellow infertiles. My friend Heather from my support group finished her in vitro cycle last week and found out yesterday that she IS PREGNANT!!! Yay! I am so happy for her and pray that she has a successful and easy pregnancy with a healthy baby. Praise God!
Monday, July 07, 2008
day eight and nine
Didn't have a lot of time to blog about the past 2 days. Saturday we had a last minute change in plans and ended up just me and Joe with nothing to do for a whole day! That NEVER happens anymore! We slept on the sofa bed on Friday night and stayed there, watching movies until 2pm Saturday. **Did you remember that in FREQUENCY (starring Dennis Quaid and Jim Caviezal) the mom is Juliet from LOST? Or that young Gordy is none other than Michael Cera? Crazy, right????***At 2 we got up and got showered and dressed and headed out for a big date. We went to see WALL-E and out to dinner. ***WALL-E...such a social commentary on the direction of mankind and Earth in general. While it was cute and, of course, impresses me to no end how they can make a thing with no personality in real life seem lovable, the most interesting thing about this movie was when you consider what has happened to the world AND to it's people because of technology and an abuse of it. Pretty thought provoking.
I digress...yesterday we spent in Granbury with the Tindells and their family. We worshipped outside in a city park, swam at the "feach," walked thru the street market, and ate some great bbq and potatoes. Great day! We topped it off by seeing WANTED. Weird show. Really weird. Don't bother.
On the IVF front...still waiting to hear back on when we can start everything. Nada so far. I'm still happily just taking my pills and day dreaming about my big baby belly to come. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well!
I digress...yesterday we spent in Granbury with the Tindells and their family. We worshipped outside in a city park, swam at the "feach," walked thru the street market, and ate some great bbq and potatoes. Great day! We topped it off by seeing WANTED. Weird show. Really weird. Don't bother.
On the IVF front...still waiting to hear back on when we can start everything. Nada so far. I'm still happily just taking my pills and day dreaming about my big baby belly to come. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well!
Friday, July 04, 2008
Day Seven
Well, still no word on when we will get to see MY doctor and start the actual 5 week process, and with only 6 weeks left til I go back to work...well...let's just say our plan hasn't worked out like we thought. But as I'm constantly reminded, God's timing is perfect and we will bow to his leading.
I told Joe last night I haven't felt this at peace and this happy in months. I am really looking forward to the result of our months of agony and am anticipating decorating a nursery and preparing for a baby soon. Maybe more than one!
Thanks for your constant prayers and Happy 4th!
I told Joe last night I haven't felt this at peace and this happy in months. I am really looking forward to the result of our months of agony and am anticipating decorating a nursery and preparing for a baby soon. Maybe more than one!
Thanks for your constant prayers and Happy 4th!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Day Six
Nothing new to report. Still taking birth control pills. Still feeling good after yesterday.
Happies...
1. Finding pictures from college in the junk drawer.
2. Painting on a canvas I made myself
3. Making homemade rolls.
4. Hearing from an old friend
5. Anticipating DESIGN STAR on HGTV this weekend!!!
Happies...
1. Finding pictures from college in the junk drawer.
2. Painting on a canvas I made myself
3. Making homemade rolls.
4. Hearing from an old friend
5. Anticipating DESIGN STAR on HGTV this weekend!!!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Day Five
Today was a L...O...N...G one. Joe and I went to meet a different doctor, Dr. Graves, at 11am. He is the doc who will be doing Joe's sperm extraction and we have to have the go ahead and a date scheduled for Joe's procedure before we can go forward with my doctor. So we got there at 10:30, expecting a quick look at the chart from his tests and a "Okay, let's do this." Nope. After 2 hours in the waiting room, we finally got into a room. Then we waited for about 20 minutes. Then we met a very jovial man named Joe who took Joe's info and filled out some papers with us. Then we met Dr. Nathan Graves. Now, we thought it was odd that there was a place for us to put our church preferance on our paperwork. (it is STILL odd, I guess.) He noticed we were Church of Christ and told us he is too. (cool, right??) We chatted with him about our situation and he really made me feel good about things. He told us "You have sperm. You gotta be optimistic about that. Lots of guys come in here with none." He also told us that Dr. Kevin Doody (the doctor we've been seeing who will be doing our in vitro stuff) is world reknown and is known to be the top in this field in the US. He said people from other countries come to have him do in vitro for them. He also said that he (Dr. Graves) has 2 children from in vitro, both done by Dr. Kevin. Later on we found out that Dr. Graves is also the urologist who donated the free invitro in conjunction with the center we are going to. Isn't it nice to have stumbled (with God's nudging) into 2 christian doctors to guide us through this? Joe had an ultrasound done to make sure there were no blockages or cancer for us to be concerned with first. We got the green light! After more chatting about the will of God and how he works in mysterious ways, Dr. Graves assured us that he's not going anywhere and he'll get us on the calendar asap. AND that "you've got sperm, and I'm gonna find it." Hooray!!! After that we met with another very godly person who will be our point person at Dr. Graves' office through this. Her name is Kay and she assured us that we will make it through this fine, with God's hand on every step. Then the floor was temporarily yanked out as we had to shell out another couple of thousand dollars for this section of the journey. Hopefully, we are all done writing 3 and 4 zero checks now. So....all in all...good day.
Happies:
1. Christian Doctors
2. Having Joe with me for a whole weekday!
3. Chicken fried steak at 3:00 (we were at the doc's office for almost 5 hours. We missed lunch...)
4. Mid-day movies (Hancock...not what I expected. Not great, but not terrible.)
5. A sunny outlook after having an Eeyore cloud over me.
Happies:
1. Christian Doctors
2. Having Joe with me for a whole weekday!
3. Chicken fried steak at 3:00 (we were at the doc's office for almost 5 hours. We missed lunch...)
4. Mid-day movies (Hancock...not what I expected. Not great, but not terrible.)
5. A sunny outlook after having an Eeyore cloud over me.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Day Four
So, today is a little better than yesterday. I had a hard night last night, but today things are in a little better perspective. I talked to the IVF coordinator finally (she called me today after being out of pocket since I started my meds 4 days ago!!!). She answered lots of questions and I'm feeling better about where we are. I have had a constant stream of people reminding me that God's timing is perfect and he is doing this for a reason. The timing WILL work out better due date wise...making me due in early May, and thus able to take the whole end of school off and not go back til the following school year. Even if the baby/babies were to come a little early.
Today was really great. Amy and I went to lunch with our friend Heather. Heather is a fellow teacher we met in our support group. Strangely enough, she taught at the same school I teach at! The school has been open 9 years. She taught there the first 2, I have taught there the past 7. We just missed eachother! Heather is on the tailend of In Vitro. She was implanted last Thursday and will know Monday if she is pregnant. How exciting! I have to admit, I'm jealous. I wish I was that far along already! After lunch, we took Heather to see BABY MAMA at the dollar theater. That movie is so funny! And what is better than 3 infertile gals going to see a movie about infertility?!?! It was great to laugh at our own sorrows together.
Now...following Mom and Amy's direction, and Joe's wish for me to be more positive...I will write 5 things to be happy about today. I bought a necklace with a poem on it that says to count the positives. I wear it every day and I am going to start following it's advice.
1. Fish and Chips with malt vinegar. If you've ever been to England and had this in the newspaper from a chippy...man, you know what I'm talking about. Lucky for me, RJ Gator's makes it about as good as you can find in the states.
2. Tina Fey makes me laugh when I look at her. She is the funniest woman in entertainment right now. I LOVE HER. Period.
3. Stencils are fun! I have bought a bunch of letter stencils and am busy making some of my own tonight. I have this new painting idea and I am prepping to try it out. If I ever get to the paint step, I'll take a pic for you!
4. Blogging. My husband may not understand why, but he does acknowledge that blogging does something good for me. When I started crying last night, he told me to get up and go blog it. He knew it would make me feel better to let it out here. Speaking of which, my Joey was great last night. He understands my heartache and will stay up and hold me, take me for french fries and frosties at 1am and fall asleep with me on the floor so I can watch TV and calm down. What a great husband I have.
5. Inspirational thoughts. Yesterday I quoted a Casting Crowns song called "Praise You in This Storm." One part I left out really comforts me today..."every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand. You never left my side. And tho my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm." How great to know that God is standing here catching every tear that falls. That he knows every single tear. Awesome.
Today was really great. Amy and I went to lunch with our friend Heather. Heather is a fellow teacher we met in our support group. Strangely enough, she taught at the same school I teach at! The school has been open 9 years. She taught there the first 2, I have taught there the past 7. We just missed eachother! Heather is on the tailend of In Vitro. She was implanted last Thursday and will know Monday if she is pregnant. How exciting! I have to admit, I'm jealous. I wish I was that far along already! After lunch, we took Heather to see BABY MAMA at the dollar theater. That movie is so funny! And what is better than 3 infertile gals going to see a movie about infertility?!?! It was great to laugh at our own sorrows together.
Now...following Mom and Amy's direction, and Joe's wish for me to be more positive...I will write 5 things to be happy about today. I bought a necklace with a poem on it that says to count the positives. I wear it every day and I am going to start following it's advice.
"Count your blessings instead of your crosses.
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes.
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears.
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your health instead of your wealth
And love your neighbor as yourself."
1. Fish and Chips with malt vinegar. If you've ever been to England and had this in the newspaper from a chippy...man, you know what I'm talking about. Lucky for me, RJ Gator's makes it about as good as you can find in the states.
2. Tina Fey makes me laugh when I look at her. She is the funniest woman in entertainment right now. I LOVE HER. Period.
3. Stencils are fun! I have bought a bunch of letter stencils and am busy making some of my own tonight. I have this new painting idea and I am prepping to try it out. If I ever get to the paint step, I'll take a pic for you!
4. Blogging. My husband may not understand why, but he does acknowledge that blogging does something good for me. When I started crying last night, he told me to get up and go blog it. He knew it would make me feel better to let it out here. Speaking of which, my Joey was great last night. He understands my heartache and will stay up and hold me, take me for french fries and frosties at 1am and fall asleep with me on the floor so I can watch TV and calm down. What a great husband I have.
5. Inspirational thoughts. Yesterday I quoted a Casting Crowns song called "Praise You in This Storm." One part I left out really comforts me today..."every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand. You never left my side. And tho my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm." How great to know that God is standing here catching every tear that falls. That he knows every single tear. Awesome.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Day Three Part II: It's still raining
Its 11:45 and I am crying. Again. I cried for the first time today as Joe and I prayed together at bedtime. I want so badly to believe, but I'm finding it too hard right now. It's hard to expect a miracle when you see the cards stacked against you. It's like even the little stupid things that should be easy are going awry. As if being infertile wasn't hard enough.
"I'd've thought by now, Lord, you would have reached down and dried our tears away. Reached in and saved the day. But once again I say AMEN and it's still raining..." It's pouring. And I can't find my umbrella. But as I told Jeremy several weeks ago...from words painted on a board in Canton, Tx...SOMETIMES TO WEATHER THE STORM, YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
I'll try my best, Lord. If you can't quiet this storm, at least draw me in and quiet my fears.
"I'd've thought by now, Lord, you would have reached down and dried our tears away. Reached in and saved the day. But once again I say AMEN and it's still raining..." It's pouring. And I can't find my umbrella. But as I told Jeremy several weeks ago...from words painted on a board in Canton, Tx...SOMETIMES TO WEATHER THE STORM, YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
I'll try my best, Lord. If you can't quiet this storm, at least draw me in and quiet my fears.
Day Three
"Anything that can go wrong...will."
Who knew that statement was talking about Rachel's ability to have a baby? We were in the waiting game for starting injections/having our "phase II appointment" to officially kick off our cycle. Between my calling back and forth between the bank and the doctor's office this AM to approve my mammoth payment, I got an email from the IVF coordinator (who apparently has no name...she's always referred to as "IVF COORDINATOR" both when spoken and written to me.)Her email said that they are waiting on info from Dr. Graves. Who??? Yeah, we were supposed to go see THEIR urologist to confirm that Joe will have TESE performed for the ICSI. They neglected to tell us that when were were twiddling our thumbs these last 2 months. (I'm a little ticked, can you tell?) So I called Joe, Dr. Graves, my doc, Joe again, Dr. Graves again, my doc again. We are going to see Dr. Graves on Wednesday morning. BUT....the IVF coordinator says it'll be next week before they get word back from him to my docs office, THEN they will schedule my phase II appointment to do a sonogram and start my Lupron shots. (so pray hard that we can do that by Wednesday of next week.) I asked about the timeline and she said it won't be until July30-Aug2 that they will do my retrieval! I thought that was the week we would find out if it worked and take my preg. tests! So basically, not only are we delaying starting, but the process is a week longer than we thought. I'm so frustrated and upset and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm afraid of what happens if it doesn't work. I thought I would have a week or two to get over it before I go back to work. Now I will be at work when we find out if I'm pregnant. It sucks. It really sucks.
Who knew that statement was talking about Rachel's ability to have a baby? We were in the waiting game for starting injections/having our "phase II appointment" to officially kick off our cycle. Between my calling back and forth between the bank and the doctor's office this AM to approve my mammoth payment, I got an email from the IVF coordinator (who apparently has no name...she's always referred to as "IVF COORDINATOR" both when spoken and written to me.)Her email said that they are waiting on info from Dr. Graves. Who??? Yeah, we were supposed to go see THEIR urologist to confirm that Joe will have TESE performed for the ICSI. They neglected to tell us that when were were twiddling our thumbs these last 2 months. (I'm a little ticked, can you tell?) So I called Joe, Dr. Graves, my doc, Joe again, Dr. Graves again, my doc again. We are going to see Dr. Graves on Wednesday morning. BUT....the IVF coordinator says it'll be next week before they get word back from him to my docs office, THEN they will schedule my phase II appointment to do a sonogram and start my Lupron shots. (so pray hard that we can do that by Wednesday of next week.) I asked about the timeline and she said it won't be until July30-Aug2 that they will do my retrieval! I thought that was the week we would find out if it worked and take my preg. tests! So basically, not only are we delaying starting, but the process is a week longer than we thought. I'm so frustrated and upset and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm afraid of what happens if it doesn't work. I thought I would have a week or two to get over it before I go back to work. Now I will be at work when we find out if I'm pregnant. It sucks. It really sucks.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Day Two
I am taking birth control pills. Again. And when I'm actually TRYING to have a baby. Wierd, huh? I have to regulate some of my hormones and such, so I am back on "the pill" for a few days here before I start my injections.
I am being pessimistic and worrying about the outcome of all of this, but Joe keeps reminding me I can choose to dwell on those what if negatives, or I can choose to follow the positives. He said he wants to hear me talking about when we are parents more often than talking about failure. Something to shoot for, right?
Today we went to the doctor's office after church to turn in all our paper work and money. It was the most money EVER to be put on my card...just over $11,000. And that's just the prepay amount. There will be more. And, we paid over $2000 for medication for me. You folks who are able to get pregnant the normal way, you are saving SO MUCH MONEY! Count that a blessing!!
Anyways...my bank wouldn't allow the transaction, probably since I NEVER put anything more than $100 or so on my card. So I have to get it approved by them tomorrow before the transaction can go through. All this to say...we are tied into this whole heartedly now. Pray for each day to go smoothly and each step to go better than expected from us and the doctors. It's gonna be a long 5 weeks...
I am being pessimistic and worrying about the outcome of all of this, but Joe keeps reminding me I can choose to dwell on those what if negatives, or I can choose to follow the positives. He said he wants to hear me talking about when we are parents more often than talking about failure. Something to shoot for, right?
Today we went to the doctor's office after church to turn in all our paper work and money. It was the most money EVER to be put on my card...just over $11,000. And that's just the prepay amount. There will be more. And, we paid over $2000 for medication for me. You folks who are able to get pregnant the normal way, you are saving SO MUCH MONEY! Count that a blessing!!
Anyways...my bank wouldn't allow the transaction, probably since I NEVER put anything more than $100 or so on my card. So I have to get it approved by them tomorrow before the transaction can go through. All this to say...we are tied into this whole heartedly now. Pray for each day to go smoothly and each step to go better than expected from us and the doctors. It's gonna be a long 5 weeks...
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